Keen on Keane/Transcript

Ms. Keane: The city of Townsville has never seen such a lovely valentine. Thank you blossom.

Pooh Bear: Professor, may we ask? What are you doing?

Professor: (flexing his muscles) Working out, getting buff.

Piglet: Why are you doing this, Professor?

Professor: Because you know the ladies don't go for skinny scientist types. I gotta be manly for my honey bunny.

Tigger: You don't say.

Rabbit: All right. We like to let you know that the girls are late for school.

Professor: School? Oh, no! I almost forgot.

Buttercup: Finally!

Professor: (give the teddy bear) Here!

Bubbles: (shrieks in delight) Professor, thank you!

Professor: That's not for you, Bubbles. It's for Ms. Keane. Could you give it to her? Okay, thanks. Bye-bye.

(Later that night Professor is still on the hotline as the heroes and the girls clean up the mess he made.)

Professor: No, you are, pumpkin pants.

Ms. Keane: No, you are, love bucket.

Pooh Bear: (sighs) Oh, bother.

Piglet: He just won't get off the hotline.

Tigger: I'll say.

Rabbit: (groans) What a waste of time.

Misty: I feel bad for the girls not saving Townsville.

Brock: Me too.

Ash Ketchum: Me three.

Pikachu: Pika.

Professor: Only if you say so, snuggle puppy.

Ms. Keane: Well, I certainly do, honeybunny.

Professor: Then, thank you, wormypiggums.

Ms. Keane: You're very welcome, snootypoo.

Professor: What are you up to, lumpy bones?

Ms. Keane: Teaching a class, sugar cookie.

(In the office Mayor is on the hotline listening to Professor and Ms. Keane's conversation.)

Professor: Ooh, that sounds like fun, cheesy quesadilla.

Ms. Keane: Well, it is, shlubbypuff.

Professor: Well, good then. lovey bear.

Ms. Keane: What are you up to, duck-billed platypus?

Professor: Oh, inventing stuff, googly moogly.

Ms. Keane: Oh, you are so smart, physics pants.

Professor: Not as smart as you are, apple dumpling.

Ms. Keane: Stop, silly billy.

Professor: No, I won't, sugar bun.

Ms. Keane: You're so funny, poogly pie.

Professor: No, you are, sugar booger.

(The mayor tries to hold back his sneeze.)

Ms. Keane: No, you are, cutie patootie.

(Mayor sneezed)

Professor and Ms. Keane: Gesundheit.

Mayor: Thank you.

Professor and Ms. Keane: Hello?

Mayor: Uh, hello.

Ms. Keane: Oh, my gosh! We've been tying up the hotline, haven't we?

Mayor: No, no...well, yeah. But that's okay.

Professor: No, it was very irresponsible of us.

Ms. Keane: We got carried away. I haven't even been grading the children's homework.

Mayor: Oh, yeah, you gotta do that.

Professor: And I haven't invented anything in weeks.

Mayor: And you invent the best stuff too.

Ms. Keane: And I've been neglecting poor Valentino.

Mayor: Poor, poor Valentino.

Professor: Who's Valentino?

Mayor: Yeah, who's Valentino?

Ms. Keane: My cat.

Mayor: Aww, a kitty. Meow.

Professor: You have a cat.

Ms. Keane: Yes. Don't you like cats?

Professor: (uneasily) Well, I had a really bad experience with a cat once.

Ms. Keane: (suddenly becomes angry) Well, it could have been that bad.

Professor: It made me jump off a building!

Ms. Keane: (scoffs in disgust) That's ridiculous!

Professor: What?! You don't believe me?!

Ms. Keane: I don't think I could date a man who hated cats so much, he had to make up ridiculous stories.

Professor: Well, I don't think I could a woman who didn't believe my ridiculous stories!

Ms. Keane: Well, maybe you shouldn't then!

Professor: Then, maybe I won't!

Ms. Keane: Fine! Don't, then!

Professor: Fine! I won't!

Ms. Keane: Fine!

Professor: Fine!

Ms. Keane: (shouting) Fine!

Professor: (shouting) Fine! (Mayor cringes at the shouting)

(Professor and Ms. Keane hung up. Then, he pouts angrily just then the hotline rings and he answers it.)

Professor: (shouts) What?!

Mayor: (nervously) Uh, could I talk to the girls?

Professor: (calmly) Oh, right. Sorry. Uh, girls? Townsville's in trouble.

Buttercup: Oh, finally some action!