Too Good to Be Glue/Transcript

Here's the 25th episode from season 2 of Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard.

Script

The Beginning

• Narrator: Suddenly, at the beginning of the episode, this happened.
• Otis: So then the tick says, "Get this dog off my butt."

(Everyone laughs)

• Tigger: That was hilarious, Otis.
• Lori: And least was better than Luan's last one.
• Luan: Well that bites. (laughs) Get it?
• All: (Groans)
• Pig: (Voices) Who wants lunch? (He brings in with a big pot)
• All: (exclaiming)
• Winnie the Pooh: It must be really good.
• Mickey Mouse: What is it?
• Pig: It's delicious homemade stew.
• Otis: Well, if you made it, it has to be goo--(smells it) Oh, cud, why?
• Everyone: (in disgust)
• Human Rarity: That smells disgusting!
• Cosmo: So terrible! (faints)
• Adyson: It even looks disgusting.
• Mickey Mouse: I don't think that's edible.
• Ronny Robinson: Not at all.
• Rabbit: What do you guys think?
• Olive Doyle: Definitely not.
• Lisa: Well, only if you want to ingest gangrenous ergotism, allometry toxic allucci, or stachybotrys chartarum.
• Katie Knight: Pig, what did you put in this?
• Pig: Well, let's see. Motor oil, damp hay, some orthopedic insoles, and some weird stuff that was caked to the wall.

(Everyone is angry)

• Pig: We were out of everything. I had to improvise.
• -With a waste dump?
• Pig: Come everyone, just try it. (tries to pull but it won't come out) Hey, the ladle's stuck.
• Otis: Oh, let Uncky Otis's cow muscles help wittle piggy with his big, bad spoon. (tries but fails) Am I on a prank show?
• Abby: Oh, that's just sad. Let me show you how it's done. (tries and fails)
• Otis: Uh-oh, smells like failure.
• Abby: Just imitating you.

(Everyone tries but it doesn't come out)

• Pig: Guys, give it up. It's just an old stew pot.
• Otis: Give up? Never! I have not yet begun to pull spoon from stew pot!

(Abby hooks the stew pot to the farmer's new truck)

• Abby: All right, fellas. Let her rip!
• Duke: I don't know about this, guys. You know how much the Farmer loves his new truck.
• Luna: I saw him take his truck on a date.
• Timmy Turner: He has a girlfriend?
• Human Rarity: She means he actually took his truck on a date.

(Flashback to a date night)

• The Farmer: I'm so happy you're in my life. More sparkling cider?

(Truck honks and flashback ends)

• Otis: Oh, Duke, you're just a big old worry pouch. Besides, I'll be gentle. Pedal to the metal, baby! Going to the floor! (pulls but stew is still still) Come on. come on. Pull, darn you!

(Suddenly, the truck split in half)

• Rabbit: Oh, my.
• Piglet: Oh, dear.
• Winnie the Pooh: Oh... Bother?
• Pig: Uh, was that supposed to happen?
• Pip: Now it's a semi.
• Peck: Hey, guys, what do you-- (gets hit with the door)
• Otis: What? Probably just some minor structural-- (looks at it) Oh, that is not good.
• Sunset Shimmer: Otis, where are we going to get the money to fix that truck?
• Lincoln: It's going to cost a fortune.

(Everyone checks there pockets)

• Human Rainbow Dash: I got 10 bucks and 85 cents.
• Lisa: Which gives us a total of 30 bucks and a holiday ham.
• Cosmo: What? Its valuable to me.
• Donald Duck: Aw phooey.
• Human Fluttershy: We are in so much trouble.
• Otis: Guys, don't worry. We're sitting on the invention of the century.
• Human Pinkie Pie: What do you mean, Otis?
• Otis: Pig's stew is obviously some sort of wonder glue. We'll just mix up some more and sell it on the TV.
• Pip: Why don't we just use the glue to fix the truck?
• Otis: 'Cause that don't puts Otis on the TV.
• Isabella: Well you put in that way, I guess you're right Otis.
• Sunset Shimmer: Yeah.
• Cosmo: And besides, we use of money to not only fix the truck but spending on whatever we want!
• Katie Knight: Plus a refund plan, in case of side effect case of the glue.
• Eeyore: True.
• Holly: Pig, do you remember how to make that stew?
• Narrator: Good question! Let's hear his answer.
• Pig: Sure, I'll just need to experiment a bit to get the proportions right.
• Sci-Twi: I'll help you with it.
• Lisa: So will I.
• Baljeet: Me too.
• Olive Doyle: Me three.
• Freddy: Montage!

(A montage later. After that, Otis drops some glue on an anvil and threw it against the wall)

• Abby: It won't budge.
• Peck: That stuff really works.
• Candace Flynn: Now all we need is a name.
• Spike the dog: How bout Moo Gloo?
• -Hey that name might just work.
• Otis: Guys, let's go sell some glue.

The Middle

(Everyone gets ready to shoot the commercial)

• Otis: Abby, Bessie, you girls are ready on the phone banks?
• Abby: Ready!
• Sci-Twi: We're ready.
• Bessie: Yeah, I'm ready... Ready to whup the moron who glued my butt to this chair.
• Luan: Well that sticks. (laughs)
• Otis: Ha ha! glued butt. I mean, who would do such a-- Peck, ready on the satellite dish?
• Peck: Ready.
• Rabbit: Cameras ready.
• Otis: All right, places, people.
• Pip: We pirate the air-waves in five... Four, three... (does 2 and 1 with his fingers)
• Otis: How come you don't say "two" and "one"?
• Pip: You're supposed to use your fingers.
• Otis: I don't have fingers.
• Pip: That's not my problem.
• Piglet: We're live.
• Otis: Hello! Welcome to the Barn Shopping Network. I'm human TV Pitchman Steve Not-a-Cow here with the greatest life-changing invention since Spray-on Chest Hair. That's right; I'm talking about Moo Gloo, the space-age adhesive with patented staying power.
• Tigger: [in booming voice] STAYING POWER!
• Otis: And here to tell us how it works is 2 of the inventors of Moo Gloo, Dr. Hiram Snoutyman and Haley Childsburg.
• Pig: Thanks, Steve. Moo Gloo works through a series of processes.
• Otis: Amazing. But can I use Moo Gloo to make exciting fruit sculpture?
• Sci-Twi: I'm doing it now.
• Otis: Fantastical! What else can Moo Gloo do?
• Lisa: It can also glue ferrets to walls.
• Sunset Shimmer: FIRE!!!

(She launches Freddy in a pile of hay)

• Otis: He's not coming off. Why, I'd pay $700,000 for this in stores.
• Lisa: And yet we're offering it to your viewers for just $1.99.
• Otis: Wha? Do you have a fever?
• Pig: Why? Is she sweating? (Laughs)

(?????)

• Pizza Boy 1#: Bro, we got to get some Moo Gloo.
• Pizza Boy 2#: [in high-pitched voice] MOO GLOO, MOO GLOO!
• Pizza Boys: Duddely duddely doo gla-glue glue!
• Mrs. Beady: If it's half as good as the Be-Jewelerizer, I'll take seven.
• Mr. Beady: Oh, crikey.
• Bigfoot: [screams]
• Abby: Bigfoot wants three bottles. Hi, thanks for calling moo gloo. please hold! Hi, I'm back. 12 Bottles? you got it.
• Bessie: Ok, you enjoy your Moo Gloo. You sorry little freak. Hello. thanks for Calling Moo Gloo.

(At the city hall)

• Man: Mr. mayor, we have a crisis. There's a crack in the city's manure-containment tank. If we don't patch up that crack, the entire town will be flooded with manure.
• Mayor: This is serious. And serious things make me nervous. Better turn on the boob tube to calm down.
• Otis: So just one bottle of Moo Gloo stuck all those shoes together?
• Pig: Yup.
• Otis: Moo Gloo can glue anything!
• Man: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
• Mayor: Sally, get me my credit card.
• Narrator: This is a good episode. I have an idea for one where the animals and kids race go-carts.

(Back at the barnyard)

• Otis: Awesome job, guys.
• Pip: You're telling me.
• Abby: That was amazing.
• Pig: You said it.
• Sunset Shimmer: Have we raised enough to make all the repairs to the farmer's truck?
• Peck: We made over $407.
• Olivia: At this rate, we'll definitely enough to fix the Farmer's truck.
• Freddy: Yup, everything worked out pretty darn well.
• Timmy Turner: And best of all, no horrible consequences. Right?

(Suddenly Freddy explodes off the wall)

• Pip: Uh, did Freddy just explode?
• Freddy: Yes.
• Abby: I hope it wasn't the glue.
• Otis: Of course it wasn't the--(The pile of shoes, the fruit and Bessie exploded) Glue.
• Piglet: Oh dear.
• Tigger: Uh oh.
• Jermey Johnson: This is so not good.
• Leni: I know. I sold one to a bunch of rabbits to fixed their balloon.
• Farmer's Wife: I can't believe you spent our entire life savings on a bunny farm and forgot to buy any bunnies!
• Farmer: But, dear, I...
• Farmer's Wife: I mean, what did ya think - rabbits were just gonna fall outta the sky?

(The bunnies fall down everywhere.)

• Farmer: Looks like somebody owes me an apology.
• Farmer's Wife: Touché.
• Peck: It must ripen into a powerful explosive after...(glue exploded) Two hours.
• Freddy: See?
• Goofy: And we just spend the first hour selling all of them.
• Olive Doyle: This is terrible. We got to get back that glue before those bottles explode.
• Otis: You're right. To the--(Bessie lands on Otis)
• Bessie: Nice glue, dummies.
• Narrator: She's being sarcastic. She knows the glue isn't nice. I'm putting her in the go-cart episode.

(At Mrs. Beady's House)

• Otis: hello, you probably remember us from the moo gloo commercial.
• Mrs. Beady: Yes, your wonderful products saved my limited-edition 231 sad girl clown bicycling.
• Timmy Turner, Cosmo, and Wanda: Ew.
• Lucy: Wicked.
• Otis: Why she's precious. May I see her with my hands?
• Mrs. Beady: Well I...

(Otis throws the doll in the air and the doll explodes)

• Pig: Here's your refund.
• Pip: We saved your life.
• Otis: You're welcome. Bye!
• Tigger: T-T-F-N, Ta Ta for now!

(At the pizza boys house)

• Pizza Boy 1: Dude, thanks to Moo Gloo, we finally built our dream tree house.

(Then a pickle came through the window)

• Pizza Boy 1: Wha? Dude, free pickle!
• Sci-Twi: Alright Abby, reel it in.

(The pickle goes out the exit)

• Pizza Boy 1: Hey, come back here, pickle.
• Pizza Boy 2: I'd like a pickle.

(The treehouse exploded)

• Luan: Well, they were certainly in a "pickle". (Laughs)
• Everyone: (groans)

(A retrieval montage later)

• Lynn: That was the last of the glue.
• Otis: Good work, team. According to the sales list, we found all the glue.
• Abby: Whew.
• Peck: What a relief.
• Pig: That was a close one.
• Human Fluttershy: You can say that again.
• Pig: That was a close one.
• Freddy: (sarcastic) Oh, I'm so happy.
• Ronny Robinson: Someone's in a bad mood.
• Pip: Uh, dude, check the back of the page.
• Otis: What? what are you talking about? (Turns the page over) I don't see any--sweet cud! We sold 500 pounds of glue to city hall?!
• Tigger: (mutters gibberish and gasps) WHAT!?!?
• Piglet: WHAT!!?!?
• Winnie the Pooh: WHAT!?!?!
• Rabbit: WHAT!?!?!?
• Eeyore: Huh?
• Timmy Turner: What?!
• CJ: What?
• Mia: What?!
• Lincoln: What!?!
• Loud Sisters: What!?!
• Scruffy: What?
• Olive Doyle: What?
• Phineas Flynn, Isabella, Burford, and Baljeet: What!?
• Candace Flynn: What?
• Fireside Girls: What?
• Katie Knight: What?!
• Sunset Shimmer: Wait. What?!
• Human Pinkie Pie: WHAT?!?!
• Human Rarity: WHAT!?!
• Mickey, Donald and Goofy: What?!?!
• Bessie: Oh, yeah, didn't I mention?
• Spike the dog: No!
• Katie Knight: Why would someone need all that glue?
• Milly: Because, they needed the glue to seal up a manure tank.
• Wanda: So if that tank explodes... Oh my gosh, we got to stop them!
• Cosmo: What? I don't get it. What's the threat?
• Otis: Come on!
• Tigger: To city hall!

(Viewer Mail)

• Pig: Wow. Now, that's what I call a sticky situation. Let's kill some time by answering some of today's viewer mail. Mahesh from Bangalore writes, Dear Pig, How can I start my own business? Well, Mahesh, first you'll need to raise some seed money. The simplest way is to find a magical leprechaun, follow him to his pot of gold, then imprison him in the rainbow forest. You can now use his gold as capital for your new business. Next, find a suitable location to set up shop. I recommend an extinct volcano or the moon. Finally, you'll need a friendly and courteous sales staff. Don't hire donkeys; they're surly and unpredictable.
• Donkey: You're surly and unpredictable.
• Pig: See what I mean? (sends the donkey through the floor) And there you have it. You're ready to open your doors. Just remember the first rule of business: The customer is always named Phyllis. Now back to the action.

The Ending

(Back at Reality)

• Hilly Burford: This just in. The town's cracked manure vat just been fixed thanks to Moo Gloo, the wonder adhesive that's taken the county by storm.
• Otis: Pig, when did you make that 500-pound batch?
• Pig: I think it was around 2:00.
• Lori: Let me check what time it is. (checks her phone) Its 3:57.
• Otis: Then we've got exactly three minutes before that tank explodes and floods the town with manure.
• Narrator: Oh my. They'll have to think fast to get out of this one.
• Otis: Uh, you gonna keep doing that?
• Narrator: Oh, excuse me, Mr. on-camera talent! Let's see if you make it into my go-cart episode.
• Humans Rarity: Somebody's cranky.

(Back with The Mayor)

• Otis: Stand aside.
• Mayor: Do I know you?
• Otis: Federal manure inspectors. We need to inspect your manure.
• Pig: Which is why that's our job title.
• Lana: It's messier than it sounds.
• Donald Duck: And mostly smellier.
• Otis: Yes. Stop your mouths.
• Mayor: Federal manure inspectors? Never heard of you.
• Otis: We're an obscure offshoot of the U.S. bureau of inspecting stuff. All right, you guys. move it out.

(They chained the manure vat to a tractor)

• Mayor: Now, hold on. that's county property.
• Otis: Yes, well, I have no further explanation. Bye.
• Tigger: Make a break for it!
• Otis: Let's get out of here!
• Pip: Go, go, go!

(They takes off with the manure)

• Mayor: Manure thieves! After them!

(A squadron of police and a news vans chases them)

• Mickey Mouse: They gaining on us!
• Abby: Faster, Otis. We only got 30 seconds till the manure tank explodes.
• Hilly Burford: A shocking development. It seems the town's manure vat has just been hijacked by a gang of fake federal agents. (a bee lands on his face) Hey, get off of me. (More bees and a giant slug lands on his face) Okay, that's disgusting.
• Abby: Five seconds till explosion, Otis.
• Otis: Hang on!

(The chain snapped and the vat exploded in the canyon)

• Officer Fred: Well, what do you know. That manure was dangerous.
• Mayor: Those fellas ain't manure thieves; they're heroes!

(People cheering. Then later the day, they fixed up the farmer's truck)

• Otis: Well, guys, it wasn't easy, but with a little teamwork, we fixed the Farmer's truck.
• Pip: Look out. here he comes.
• Rabbit: Oh my goodness! Hide!
• The Farmer: Hello, old girl. Did you miss me? (drives off)
• Otis: Hey, Freddy, Cosmo, beautiful job on that rear bumper.
• Cosmo: Thanks, Otis.
• Freddy: We used Pig's special glue to fix it.
• Otis: Would that be the glue we just spent all day trying to track down and destroy so it wouldn't explode people?
• Freddy: Yes. (The truck explodes in the background) What's your point?
• Otis: Never mind.

(The rear bumper falls off)

• Baljeet: So where the rest of the truck?
• Katie Knight: (looking through binoculars) I have a pretty good idea where.
• Farmer's Wife: I can't believe you sold our lucrative bunny farm and bought a van rental place! And you didn't buy a single van! (Looks up) Not one word.
• Holly: Ouch.
• Phineas Flynn: That's got to hurt.
• Spike the Dog: Are they going to be ok?
• Narrator: Don't worry, the farmer, the other farmer, and the other farmer's wife recover and will soon star in my amazing go-cart episode.
• Pip: I think we need a new announcer.
• Narrator: TOO LATE. THE END!

THE END!