The Headsucker's Moxy/Transcript
Narrator: The city of Townsville! (Pull back and pan slowly along one block.) A secure place. A safe place. A place where the most valuable of all possessions is locked up safe and sound.
(As he says this, we see people turning off their lights and closing their doors and windows. Zoom in on the Bank of the Imperial Garden. A tall, thin, bald man with glasses—the bank manager—is standing at the door; he produces a key from his pocket and reaches toward the lock with it. He is locking up the bank for the night before heading home himself. A shadow appears behind him, and he turns to look over his shoulder.)
Manager: Oh…hello.
(Cut to the source of the shadow: a short man with a very large head and nose and no visible mouth.)
Manager: (from o.c.) I'm sorry, sir— (Cut to behind the short man.) —but the bank is closed.
(Side view of the two; the manager is seen only from the waist down.)
Manager: Please come back tomorrow.
(The man hangs his head sadly as the manager leaves.)
Manager: Have a safe night!
(He walks away, rounding the corner. After a block or so, footsteps are heard o.c.—he is being followed. His eyes turn back in surprise, and he begins to walk faster. A short shadow moves into view, pursuing him, and he finally breaks into a run. Rounding one more corner, he gets several more steps down the sidewalk before stopping and recoiling in fear. A trash can lid clatters to the ground; he screams and covers his eyes. In his path is a small white cat, meowing. The manager screams again, then uncovers his eyes to look around.)
Manager: Huh?
(Cut back and forth twice between the cat, now purring, and the manager. He is limp with relief and laughing nervously.)
Manager: Whoo! (He wipes his forehead.) Silly imagination!
(Quickly pull back to point down the sidewalk toward the corner where he is standing, then zoom in on his face. We see a sudden flash of teeth, and he falls to the ground screaming. A sucking sound is heard. Dissolve to the front door of the bank; the manager is now lying with his body in view and his head o.c. right and is being dragged slowly away. Camera turns up to point at the moon, which becomes the sun as the scene dissolves. It is now the next morning; we hear sirens and police radios. When the camera turns down again, the bank entrance has been marked off with yellow crime-scene tape. Police officers are investigating. Inside, the vault is open and empty, and a group of cops are staring speechless at the total lack of evidence or any sign of theft. The radio chatter continues, muffled, as the camera pans slowly from the vault to a cot in the corner. The manager is on it, and the girls as well as our heroes are standing by him.)
Blossom: Now, Mr. Bank Manager, sir, you were the only one who knew the combination to the safe. (eyeing him warily) So how was the crook able to open it?
Manager: (disoriented) Combination…safe…crook…wha—where… (He suddenly comes to and claps a hand to the side of his head.) Oh, my head!
Piglet: Oh, dear! I don't think he remembers what happened last night.
Brock: Where does it hurt, sir?
Manager: On my right. Ow....
Misty: Let me see.
(Extreme close-up of the hand as she removes it. The side of the manager's head sports a ring of puncture wounds. The girls and our heroes gasp in surprise o.c.)
Narrator: Whoa! Seems the mystery miscreant sure left his mark. Question is, when and where will he strike again?
(The scene fades black as it goes to the next night. Footsteps are heard, and a flashlight beam appears, illuminating pictures on a wall. The holder of the light steps into view—it is a security guard. The light moves across paintings and sculptures; we are at the museum. Finally the alarm control panel is seen, and the guard's hand moves into view to punch several keys. The beam turns around to illuminate the artwork as a network of laser beams is activated to block access to it. The guard smiles contentedly and turns to leave to head home, singing tunelessly, leaving the laser grid to protect the artwork. He stops short; there is a quick shot of a round mouth full of pointed teeth, and he falls down screaming to the same sucking sound that was heard at the bank. The flashlight rolls away to stop in front of the control panel. Another hand reaches into view and punches the keys, and the laser beams are deactivated. The screen blacks out to the sound of heavy objects being moved and a set of footsteps running away. Fade in to the empty gallery. Police radios are heard in the background as the camera pans across another group of stunned, speechless cops and stops on the girls as well as our heroes comforting the guard. He is wrapped in a blanket, shivering and looking very much out of it.)
Ash Ketchum: And only you knew the code, Mr. Security Guard, sir?
Guard: Huh? Code? Uh…can't think…head hurts. (He puts a hand to his head.)
Blossom: Uh-oh. Let me see.
(Extreme close-up of the guard's head; when he removes his hand, a ring of punctures is beneath it. The girls gasp o.c.; pull back to show them in front of him. Blossom is thinking hard.)
Tigger: There it is again! The same marking as the bank manager's head!
Rabbit: What do you think this could mean?
Brock: It means we better get to the bottom of this before he strikes again.
Pirate: (o.c.) Argh!
Piglet: Oh, dear! What was that?
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Bubbles: Holy headaches, guys! This is a tough one.
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Blossom: Keep away from that mouth!
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Misty: Ahh! (the leech starts sucking her head; she runs around in panic) Help! This is totally unacceptable! Now, get him off of me, you guys! Help!!
Pikachu: Pikachu Pi!
(Ash and Brock yank the robbing leech off her.)
Brock: Yuck!
Ash Ketchum: Eww! Gross! (the robbing leech jumps on his head; Ash screams as the robbing leech begins sucking his head; Ash tries to pull him off) Get him off! Get him off! Get him off! Get him off! Get him off!
Pikachu: Pika Pi!
Tigger: Hold still, Ash!
Rabbit: We'll get that monstrosity off of you in no time! (whacks him with the broom) Take that, you creep!
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Tigger: I got him!
Piglet: I got him!
Pooh Bear: (traps the robbing leach in a basket) I got him! (giggles; but the basket is lifted up by the robbing leech) Oh, bother. (the leech throws Pooh Bear to the side of the room)
Rabbit: Hold it right there! (bashes the leech with his broom) Gotcha, you head-sucking pest! (gets lifted in the air and spun around by the leech) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (screams as he is hit dozens of times on the floor by the leech and then thrown into the trash can; Rabbit groans)
Eeyore: (body slams the robbing leech) Got him. (he bites him in the leg making him squeal in pain)
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu shock the little creep!
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Bubbles and Buttercup: Blossom, watch out!
Ash Ketchum: Look out!
Brock: (grabs the Mayor) Sorry about this, Mayor!
Mayor of Townsville: Huh?
Brock: Blossom, catch! (throws Blossom the mayor)
(Blossom catches the mayor and goes to use him as a shield. The Leech connects with his head as the screen goes black before showing the Leech's teeth embedding themselves into flesh and begins sucking—but he is clearly not enjoying the experience, as he struggles to pull free, but is unable to do so. After a few seconds, he goes limp and falls to the floor. Cut to the girls standing over him as he lies in a puddle of drool.)
Heroes: Eww!!!
Blossom: Well, Leech, it looks like your brain-draining days are over.
Buttercup: You're all dried up.
Brock: Now, let's get that disgusting vermin outta here.
Ash Ketchum: (grabs a shovel) I'm on it. (scoops the defeated robbing leech up with the shovel) Ugh, this is really revolting. I wonder where he came from. (hands the robbing leech to a nearby officer, who proceeds to take him away to jail)