Silent Treatment/Transcript

Narrator: The city of Townsville has a mega-multiplex theater, (scene switches to a movie theater sign saying "Men 23"; camera zooms out, and the theater is crowded with many folks) where everyone goes on a Saturday afternoon to see the very latest in state-of-the-art, widescreen motion picture entertainment (camera switches to a nearby silent theater with four people) That is, everyone except (camera zooms in on Professor Utonium and the Powerpuff Girls. Professor is looking at a sign, the ticket-seller is seen through the window as though he's sleeping, and the girls are less than pleased at coming to the silent theater) the Powerpuff Girls.
Buttercup: Aw, have a heart, Professor. Every kid in town is over at the multiplex and you decide to take us to a silent movie theater.
Blossom: Yeah, nobody cool ever comes here.
Bubbles: And the popcorn is as stale as their dumb old movies.
Professor Utonium: Silent films are where all movies come from.
Buttercup: But, Professor, we like our movies with color and sound.
Blossom: Yeah, and car crashes.
Bubbles: And explosions.
Girls: And in a really cool theater!
Professor Utonium: That's all well and good, girls, but you can go to the multiplex any day of the week. Today is the day you learn all about the history of motion pictures.
Girls: Oh, all right.
Professor Utonium: Oh, boy. It's a full house. Oh, this is gonna be so great. I'm totally excited. Aren't you? Oh, here's a good place to sit. Not too close and not too far. Now you just make yourselves comfortable and I'll get some popcorn. Don't go away now. And remember - these grand old films are where all movies came from.
(Once Professor is gone, old-time piano music can be heard, and the movie starts. The girls roll their eyes. The camera switches to the movie screen with a title card saying "Joseph M. Skunk presents Max Von Nitrate in For Once, He Is Speechless; Directed by Cecil B. Centipede")
Buttercup: (sarcastically) "Remember, girls, it's where all movies came from."
Blossom: (jokingly) No, they didn't. They came from cans!
[The girls laugh]
Blossom: What's this?
Buttercup: Looks like Mitch Mitchellson's house.
Bubbles: Only cleaner.
(A black shoe kicks the door open)
Blossom: Uh-oh.
Buttercup: Somebody forgot to knock. (A man with a curly mustache comes in, carrying a woman he's tied up) Whoa, who's that?
Blossom: The bad guy.
Bubbles: How can you tell?
Blossom: He's the one with the flycatcher for a moustache.
(The girls laugh again)
Blossom: And the girl is a damsel in distress.
Bubbles: Shh, he's speaking.
Buttercup: (reading title card) "At last, I have you in my power?" Oh, man, what a cornball.
Blossom: This is too much.
Buttercup: Yeah, look at him. Where does he get his moustache wax from, his ears?
(The girls laugh again)
Buttercup: Oh, no, now he's gonna go into a big spiel. (reading title card) "You can not escape my clutches! I am Max Von N...Von I..." (the title card cuts back to the film) Hey, wait a minute! I'm not done reading yet!
(Max slaps his forehead in exasperation and pulls back the title card) "...Nitrate! I see all and control all!" Okay, I'm done.
Bubbles: Now, what's he gonna do?
Blossom: Maybe he's leaving.
Buttercup: No such luck.
Blossom: Uh-oh.
Buttercup: He's locking the door! Oh my gosh!
Bubbles: Yikes!
Blossom: I don't believe it!
Buttercup: He's swallowing the key whole.
Bubbles: "Key, whole." Get it. (giggles)
Max: Burp!
Buttercup: Gross! Hey, now he's being creepy.
Blossom: A snake in the grass. (sarcastically) Oh, look, she gets the artie shot.
Bubbles: I know I don't like this movie!
Buttercup: Yeah, this picture stinks.
Blossom: I agree.
(The girls blow raspberries and laugh their hardest)
Buttercup: Take that, furry lip!
Blossom: Ha ha!
Bubbles: Yeah!
Max: (through title cards) You kids are starting to get on my nerves! Let's see if you find this funny!!
(Max removes the hair from the woman, revealing that it's a wig, and the character looks familiar)
Blossom: (reading title card) "Girls! Save me!!"
(The shot switches back to the victim, and the girls realize who it is)
Girls: (jumping out of their seats) It's the Professor!
Blossom: What do you want with the Professor anyway, Mr. Moustache?
Max: I want his VOICE!
Girls: His voice?!
Max: A simple operation really...I put his voice into my throat!
Girls: Operation?!
Buttercup: This guy's totally nuts. What do we do?
Bubbles: We have to get in there and stop him.
Girls: He's in there!
Buttercup: (now speaking through title cards) Give us back the Professor!
Blossom: (through title cards) We're in the silent movie now...we can only talk in titles!
Max: (through title cards) See ya, Powerless Girls!
Blossom: (through title cards) He's gonna steal the Professor's voice!
Buttercup & Bubbles: (through title cards) We gotta stop him!
Blossom: (through title cards) He's stolen our powers too!
Buttercup: (through title cards) Then, we'll just have to save the Professor without them!