Pooh's Adventures of My Little Pony: Rainbow Roadtrip/Transcript

This is the transcript of Pooh's Adventures of My Little Pony: Rainbow Roadtrip.

Opening

(The movie Beginnings, at Patchy's House)

• Potty: Patchy, Patchy, the kids are here. [flushes the toilet]
• Patchy the Pirate: WAH!!! [opens the curtain in panic] Hot! Hot! Hot! Potty, don't you know this is Patchy private time?[looks at the camera] Oh, hello! Dahh! [covers himself with the curtain] What are you all doing here?
• Potty: They're here to see the latest Pooh's Adventure film. Brawk!
• Patchy the Pirate: But I haven't got his latest film, because I... well, I lost it! [starts to cry]
• Children: [off-screen] No, Patchy! Please! Don't say that, Patchy! Please!
• Patchy: But it is! It's lost and I have no idea where it is, so it's best if you forget all about Winnie the Pooh.
• Voice: Remembering, Winnie the Pooh!

(A music video plays with Pooh)

• Audience: [clapping]
• Patchy the Pirate: I don't believe I lost his latest adventure film. [screws in his peg leg] I never lose anything.
• Potty: What about your leg?
• Patchy the Pirate: Well, yeah, but...
• Potty: And your eye.
• Patchy the Pirate: Well, the eye, I...
• Potty: And your hand.
• Patchy the Pirate: And the h... oh, get out of here you blasted bird! [shoos Potty away] Hmm... if only I had a map to tell me where Pooh's latest film is. [a screeching car sounds and a brick flies through the window and hits Potty; he mutters gibberish and then falls over]
• Potty: What is it? Brawk!
• Patchy the Pirate: Hey... it's a map! It's a map to lost Pooh's latest adventure film I lost!
• Potty: It's a dream come true!
• Patchy the Pirate: [giggles] We gotta go find it, Potty! [shouts excitedly and runs over to the door; snaps] Oh, first I'll need me treasure hunting leg. [grabs a black boot out of a bin of umbrellas and screws it on his wooden leg while limping out the door; it now functions as a normal leg] Come on, Potty! Ah! Times a-wastin'! [runs down the steps, along with Potty]
• Potty: Brawk!
• Patchy the Pirate: [an elderly woman sits on her porch, knitting] Ten paces past Mrs. Johnson's house. [walks past the woman's house]
• Mrs. Johnson: Would you boys like some cookies?
• Patchy: Put 'em in a doggie bag, Mrs. Johnson. Can't right now, we're on a treasure hunt. [continues walking]
• Mrs. Johnson: Okay, don't catch a cold.
• Patchy the Pirate: Walk five fathoms past Don's Import Store and Delicatessen. [looks up at a store by that name; walks next to a tree] Half a league to the forked tree. [looks up at a tree with plastic forks growing on it] Oh! [stands somewhere else, looking at the map] Now all that's left is... Huh?! The seven trials of monkey lagoon?! [lowers the map and sees a playground full of children] Merciful Neptune. Only for Pooh Bear. Only for Pooh Bear!!![runs into the playground; rides back and forth on a small green horse] AHHHHH!!! Whoa!!! [goes up and down on a see-saw] Whoa!!! Whoa! [slides down a slide with his hands up] YAHHHHH!!! [hits the ground] Ow! [gets spun around on a merry-go-round] AHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [slowly climbs on the monkey bars while a little kid punches him in the back] Ahh... Ahh... Ah! [inside a giant climbing thing while a group of kids laugh at him] AHHHHH!!! AHHHH!!! [gets pushed on the swing by a little girl] AHHHHH!!! DAHHH!!! [the swing he was on returns with only a hook attached to it; the little girl stares at it, confused; cuts to Patchy digging in the sand] We made it! We survived the trials! Oh, I'm really gonna dig this film! [laughs] Dig it, get it?[laughs some more]
• Potty: [covered in the sand] You stink!
• Patchy the Pirate: And I just got out of the shower. [laughs again; sticks his shovel in the ground and hits something] Hey Potty, I think I hit something. [camera zooms out; a large treasure chest sits in the sand] Clever... bury your treasure above the surface.
• Potty: Brawk!
• Patchy the Pirate: [opens the chest; a golden glow shines from it] This is it! [a man in a construction hat sits in the chest, holding a tape; Patchy takes it; the man cups his hands] I don't know what it means either. [slams the top of the chest on the man] But I got what I came for! Come on Potty, time's a-wastin'. [runs off, jumping around and shouting excitedly again; runs into his house, still excited, and holds the tape up] Yeah!!! Popcorn. [slams a bag of popcorn down on the table] Soda. [puts a cup of soda on the table] Pickled garlic! [puts a jar of pickled garlic down on the table, next to the other things; runs and sits down] Potty, hit the remote!
• Potty: [drops an egg that hits the remote] Brawk! [the VCR turns on]
• Patchy the Pirate: [grabs the popcorn] This is gonna be great! [a countdown, starting at ten, appears on the screen] I can't believe it. More Pooh's Adventures. [starts eating the popcorn; the countdown makes it's way down to five] This so exciting! [laughs, shaking the popcorn, which flies everywhere; the countdown ends] Here it comes!
• Potty: Brawk! Pipe down!

(They show some SpongeBob's walk cycles, and when that ends a beeping noise comes from the TV; Patchy stares blankly for a moment)

• Patchy the Pirate: That's it? That's his latest Adventure film? THAT WAS JUST A BUNCH A CHEAP WALK CYCLES!!!
• Potty: What a rip!
• Patchy the Pirate: Grrrrr... [his face turns red and smoke steams out of his ears] POOH BEAR BETRAYED US! [cries] I'm sorry when I love his dumb adventures series in the first place?! I'm gonna get rid of all my Pooh Bear's stuff! All of it! All of it! [rips off his pants] All of it! [runs to the door] I'm gonna run away, that's what I'll do! Run away! [runs out the door crying]
• Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead!
• Announcer: [on TV, another countdown has started at twenty-three seconds with the words] And now, for the real Pooh's next adventure film.
• Potty: Patchy, come back! There's more!
• Patchy the Pirate: Really? [he reverses] Hooray! Let's watch.

Ending

[Back to Patchy]

• Patchy: Wow! Wasn't that great, kids?
• Potty: Let's watch it again.
• Patchy: [chuckles] That's a great idea, Potty. [looks on the table] Where's the remote? [continues searching] Where's the remote? [stands up] Oh, I lost the remote! They should make those things... [a brick flies through the window and hits Patchy on the head] Eh... [falls to the floor]
• Potty: Brawk!
• Patchy: [stands back up and drops the brick on his foot; he is now holding his remote] My remote! [goes to the window] Thanks, stranger!
• Mrs. Johnson: [outside, in a wheelchair] Don't mention it, Patchy! [flames shoot of the back of her wheelchair and she peels off, leaving a skid mark behind]
• Patchy: Now, which one of these cockamamie buttons is rewind? [presses a button; a juggling clown appears on TV] No, that's not it. [presses another button; a weatherman appears on TV] Doh! Wrong again. [keeps flipping through the channels and grunting; a black and white horse movie comes on, then a blob movie, then a football game, then the giraffe from Krusty Krab Training Video, then the anemone from Your Shoe's Untied then a Tyrannosaurus Rex battling a Triceratops; Potty flies over]
• Potty: Brawk! Let me do it!
• Patchy: No, get away! [the lights go out] That's the light switch! [the light turns back on; Patchy and Potty fight over the remote, until a mariachi band pops up from behind the couch]
• Potty: Brawk! That's the mariachi band button!
• Patchy: Grrrrr... I hate technology!!!
• Patchy: [continues pressing buttons on the remote] Rewind... darn you! [suddenly, the VCR starts spitting out tape]
• Potty: Brawk! Failure ahoy!
• Patchy: No! [tries to stop the tape from spewing out] Dah! DAH! Oh, blasted infernal machine! [gets tangled up and falls over, still struggling] Oh no! I've ruined the latest Pooh's Adventures film! Now it's lost forever!
• Potty: Brawk! Lost forever!
• Narrator: Oh boy, what a loser. Well, I guess "Pooh's Adventures movie" will remain lost. But, tape or no tape, as long as there are stars in the sky, Winnie the Pooh will live on in our hearts and in our minds. Now get lost. I mean, bye. No, really, get lost.