Kids in the City/Transcript

Here's the 15th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins with Abby and Bessie telling the kids a story)

• Bessie: Gather around kids. It's story time.
• Kids: Yeah!!!
• Chick: It entertains while it teaches.

[Cow]

♪♪ Stories, story ♪♪

• Bessie: And here's today's special guest reader, Abby. What's today's story, Abby?
• Abby: Oh, it's a good one. It's called...

(Otis and Timmy comes in)

• Otis: Oh, hey, guys. don't mind me. I'm just looking for my paintball cannon.
• Timmy Turner: Hurry up. Lynn and Rainbow Dash are pulverizing everyone
• Otis: (searches the closet) Nope, that's not it. nope. Hey, my lucky garlic press.
• Bessie: Do you mind, morons? We're trying to have story time.
• Timmy Turner: Story time?
• Otis: Cool. Flesh-eating zombies? Ooh, how about a rogue cop who's two days from retirement?
• Abby: No, it's called Happy Trolley Goes to Town.
• Otis: Does the trolley jump the tracks and plow down some zombies? (hit by Bessie) Story time pain!
• Bessie: Now, where were we?
• Abby: Happy trolley went to Tinytown to see his cousin Tommy Taxi, but he wasn't home. Happy Trolley looked everywhere: The Cotton Candy Factory, the Fun-Diddly-um-Dum store, the Bunny Museum, Silly Sally's Silly Shack, Cutie Pie Corner...
• Otis: Sweet cud. What are those words coming out of your mouth?
• Bessie: Otis, Timmy, what is your problem?
• Timmy Turner: I'm sorry, but your filling these kids' heads with mush.
• Chick: Is that true, Bessie? Are our heads filled with mush?

[Cow]

♪♪ Mushy, mushy ♪♪

• Otis: I rest my case. Anyway, you don't learn about the world from books. You got to step outside, get some mud on your hooves, breathe deep of the heady stew of life.
• Bessie: Excuse me, children. I got to have a little talk with Otis. (beats Otis up)
• Narrator: Hours of painful beating later...
• Bessie: Kids, let's finish story time later. I got to go wash the stupid off my knuckles.
• Abby: I hope you two are happy, Otis.

(Than Bessie and Abby left)

• Sheep: Sorry you didn't like story time otis.
• Chick: It usually doesn't end in a painful beating.
• Otis: I'm just worried about you kids.
• Timmy Turner: Yeah, Otis's right. You need to learn better than reading a book.
• Otis: That's why tomorrow I'm taking you guys for your first field trip into the big city.
• Kids: (gasp) AWESOME!!!!
• Timmy Turner: I don't know Otis. Bessie and Abby seemed pretty ticked.
• Otis: Don't worry. Just leave the rest to me. And now if you'll excuse me, I fall down. (faints)

(The next day, Abby and Bessie plays with horseshoes when they see the others going truffle hunting.)

• Otis: Ah, it's a great day for a truffle hunt. It should be some good truffle hunting. Ha, ha, ha, yes. truffle hunt.
• Abby: Why do you keep saying truffle hunt?
• Otis: No reason. Truffle hunt! I mean, truffle hunters fall in.
• Abby: Since when do you all like truffle hunting?
• Winnie the Pooh: Since yesterday.
• Lisa: Besides I would do it anyway.
• Pip: Truffles are fascinating. They are a form of mushroom.
• Peck: They make me feel alive.
• Pig: Oh, beautiful.
• Freddy: This isn't a ruse!
• Bessie: You better not be taking those kids off on some risky, irresponsible adventure.
• Otis: (gasps) Irresponsible? Me? Who's--who's responsible?This cow. (laughs) Laughing.
• Sci-Twi: Don't worry Bessie. We'll have them back around 3.
• Lincoln: You won't even notice they're gone. We promise. (the other Louds gave puppy eyes)
• Bessie: Fine! You have those kids back by 3 or you'll be tartar sauce.
• Otis: Ha, don't worry. In Japan, they call me Responsibility-san. Move out, troops. quickly.

(Couple miles from the barn)

• Otis: We ditched them. Human disguises, activate.

(the animals head inside a telephone booth)

• Chick: But this disguise accentuates my forehead.
• Donald Duck: Otis, are you sure this is going to work?
• Otis: Will you guys quit worrying? I have everything under control.
• Lana: What if Bessie finds out? You know what she's capable of.
• Otis: She won't find out. Kids, get ready to see wonders beyond your wildest dreams. To the big city!

The Middle

(A few seconds later)

• Otis: Here we are, kids, the big city.
• Human Rainbow Dash: A whole day in the big city to do whatever we want!
• Human Rarity: Ooh, just think of the fashion!
• Human Applejack: The food!
• Human Pinkie Pie: The frolicking! That's short for "frosting licking"! I'm gonna get my hot little hands on the new dessert trend – the puff cake! Half cream puff, half cupcake! [shuddering]
• Human Rarity: The city is our oyster!
• Otis: Exactly. (cell phone rings) Yello?
• Bessie: Yeah, how's the truffle hunt going?
• Otis: Yo. oh, uh, you. great. We have found several passels of truffles.
• Bessie: (hears a car horn) What was that?
• Otis: Nothing. it was a truffle-crazed goose. Hanging up on you. (hangs up)
• Sheep: This city is so cool, Otis. Will we see a riot?
• Chick: How about a water main explosion? Now, that would be awesome.
• Cow: Or a scheduled sanitation pickup. Yay!
• Otis: Whoa, whoa, whoa, children. Thar the advanced class.Let's start off easy with the pride of every great teeming metropolis.
• Mickey Mouse: A walk through the park?
• Leni: The mall?
• Human Rarity: A fashion store?
• Otis: Better. Pig, which way to....the lamp store?
• Timmy Turner: A lamp store. Really?
• Pig: [sniffing] That way.
• Otis: Impressive. Let's go, people.

(They headed into a back alley)

• Pip: Uh, pig. Do you have any idea where we are?
• Pig: None whatsoever.
• Otis: (cell phone rings) Guys, truffle hunt mode. Truffles by Otis.
• Abby: Otis, here's the thing. I'm tracking you via the gps chip we installed under Freddy's skin.
• Freddy: So that's what's been buzzing under my armpit.
• Abby: And it's say, you are down town!
• Otis: (pretends to be static)
• Tigger: Freddy, we got to get that chip out of your skin.
• Freddy: Um, can we discuss this?
• Otis: Of course we can discuss-- get him!

(Everyone tackles Freddy)

• Chick: What's that haunting mellifluous sound in 3-4 time?
• Sheep: Not sure. let's check it out. (The looked around the corner and sees the Pizza Dudes playing bagpipes and albino horn)
• Cow: They're hideous.
• Sheep: Are they friendly?
• Chick: It could be a species of subhuman.
• PD 1: Dude, look. I think they're tiny talent scouts.
• PD 2: Aplino horn solo! (the other one plays loudly) Dude, you nailed it.
• PD 1: We're gonna be famous.
• Both: (singing incoherently)

(Back at the alley)

• Human Applejack: Alight guys. Pull!

(Everyone pulls and got the chip out)

• Freddy: Gyeah-ha-hoo.
• Otis: (steps on the chip) Hello. Can you hear me now?
• Abby: Otis, what's going on?
• Otis: Whoops. Freddy swallowed a woodchuck. Got to go. (hangs up) Yes, another scam successfully as I planned.
• Tigger: Hey wait a minute! Where are the kids?
• Pip: You mean the ones Otis supposed to be watching?
• Otis: Oh, no. they're gone. What have I done? This town will eat them alive.
• Tigger: Do you know what this means?
• Human Fluttershy: We are in so much trouble.
• Lola: We're doomed! The kids are gone and now Abby and Bessie gonna be mad!
• Otis: They're like little lost lambs.
• Peck: Actually, for the record, one of them is a lamb.
• Otis: That only reinforces my metaphor. We got to find them. quick. this way.

(They all leave about the same time the kids come back)

• Chick: Uh, well, that was a pleasant interlude.
• Sheep: Hey, where is everyone? They're gone.
• Cow: We're all alone in the city. We'll never get home. Hyperventilating. Hyperventilating!
• Sheep: Get it together. (smacks some sense into him)
• Cow: Still panicking. (smacked again) Now I'm good.
• Chick: He needed that.
• Sheep: Let's go find Otis. Come on.

(A few mintues later, the others looked for the kids)

• Human Pinkie Pie: (sees the Pizza Dude) Hey, have any of you guys seen 3 kids anywhere?
• PD 2: Like tiny talent scouts? They went that way, dude.
• Otis: Thanks.
• PD 1: Wait, dude. Can you give 'em our demo?

(Later the Kids run into Officer Fred)

• Officer Fred: Hey, what are you kids doing?
• Sheep: We're not doing anything, officer. We came into town with some adults, but we lost them.
• Officer Fred: Oh, lost kids, huh? Let's look up what it says about this in the manual. (pulls out tiny book)
• Chick: Perhaps you should take us to the local precinct and notify our parents or guardians.
• Officer Fred: All right there, little fellow. You just leave the police work to the grownups, okay? "Bring minors to precinct and notify their parents .." Okay, everyone in the squad car.
• Cow: The squad car?
• Kids: AWESOME!!!
• Chick: I hope I grow.

(In the city square)

• Pip: Otis, we've looked everywhere--and no kids.
• Mickey Mouse: We searched everywhere to.
• Human Rarity: And we didn't find nothing.
• Piglet: This is terrible.
• Eeyore: Could be worse.
• Lori: (cell phone rings) Hello? Otis, it's Bessie.
• Eeyore: See?
• Otis: Guten tag. Heinrich snout's one-stop snitzenkrubel shop. Heinrich talking at you.
• Bessie: I know it's you, moron, and you better have those kids back home in 20 minutes.
• Otis: But the truffling is amazing today. It's like the earth just puked up a pile of truffle barf.
• Bessie: (hears a car) Was that a siren?
• Otis: You mean the ancient greek seductresses who would lure sailors to their deaths? Don't think so. gotta go. bye. (pops the thought bubble)
• Peck: Otis, the kids got pinched by the five-o.
• Otis: Sweet cud. If that cop takes them to the station, he's to bound to find out they're talking barnyard animals.
• Sunset Shimmer: But what can we do? We can't beat a squad to the police station
• Pip: Unless they never get to the station.
• Otis: Your tiny mouse mind is firing on all cylinders. (pushes a guy off a ostrich) Come on. I have a plan.

The Ending

• Sheep: I'm your worst nightmare-- a kid with a badge.

[Cow]

♪♪ Gas mask, gas mask, gas mask ♪♪

• Chick: Attention all units, I have an enlarged thyroid, over.
• Gertie: (on radio) Calling Fred. 10-27 in progress.
• Officer Fred: A daring daylight bank robbery? I'm on it, gertie. Hang on, kids. This is about to get very police-y.

(drives to the scene)

• Lucy: Why are you writing "bank" over a fruit stand sign?
• Otis: Are you kidding? Robbing a real bank would be dangerous. Besides, the cop only has to buy it long enough for the others to sneak into the squad car and get the kids.
• Peck: Here he comes.
• Rabbit: Oh, my goodness! Quick, hide!
• Officer Fred: Stay here, kids. (over megaphone) All right, this is the police. Come out of that bank with your hands up. (fruit was thrown) Jumpin' catfish.
• Otis: Back off, copper. I got apricots, and I know how to use them.
• Pig: And I've got papayas. Maybe they're a little mushy, but I could make a nice jam out of them.
• Otis: Yes, maybe you talk not so much.
• Pig: Okay.
• Otis: Guys. We'll keep him busy while you guys get the kids. Go, go, go.
• Luan: Ok, let's drive him bananas! (laughs) Get it?

(Everyone started throwing fruit at Fred)

• Sheep: Aah. the perps.
• Freddy: Okay, kids, it's safe to--

(The kids started beating up)

• Sheep: Officer fred needs backup, guys.
• Cow: I'm all over it. (pulls pin) Fire in the hole!
• Otis: Guys, it's the kids. Everything's gonna be all right.
• Winnie the Pooh: Oh, Otis, I seem to have some small problems.

(A grenade lands in front of them)

• Otis: Mommy.(The kids started beating the others up as well)
• Otis: It's me. (faints)
• Sheep: Otis, we're so sorry.
• Chick: Why'd you do it, Otis? If you needed money, we could have steered you towards some interest-bearing treasury bonds. Blaah, gleek.
• Otis: No time for smart money management. We got to get you out of here before we all end up in jail.
• Sheep: Don't worry, Otis. We used the radio in the squad car to make a few calls. We have a backup plan.
• Officer Fred: Okay, I'm done playing around. Sweet marzipan.
• Cow: We'll take it from here, officer.
• Officer Fred: What the heck's going on in here?
• Sheep: We're not really kids, officer. We're tiny fbi agents who have been working undercover to flush out this gang.
• Officer Fred: Oh, come on. I find that very hard to-- merciful pancakes.

(The helicopter comes in)

• Chick: [helicopter rotors whir] We called in the chopper. These punks are going away for a long time.
• Sheep: We'll recommend you for a promotion. Let's move out.

(They left with the helicopter)

• Officer Fred: There go three freakishly short american heroes. Hey, there's still time to hit the lamp store.
• Otis: Well, that was amazing.
• Human Applejack: how did you guys pull it off?
• Sheep: It was easy. We used officer Fred's radio to call Abby and Bessie.
• Piglet: Oh dear.
• Tigger: Uh oh.
• Timmy Turner: Not good.
• Lincoln: This not going to end well.
• Abby: Finally got this old crate working again.
• Bessie: Oh and just let me be clear on one point.
• Lola: Don't hurt us.
• Bessie: Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you guys. (punches Otis)
• Otis: PAIN!
• Bessie: And now, kids, I'm going n tell you the story of the stupid cow who went to town.
• Kids: YAY!
• Bessie: Once upon a time, there was a stupid cow who lied to his friends. (Hits Otis)
• Otis: OW!
• Bessie: He said he was going truffle hunting, but that was a load of garbage.
• Otis: This story sounds familiar. (wacked again) OW! Does anyone have a parachute? (gets whacked again) OW!

THE END!