Film Flam/Transcript
(The girls relax on their bed, then knocking on the door was heard.)
Girls: Come in.
Ash Ketchum: Hey, girls, whatcha doing?
Buttercup: We're thinking about coming movie stars.
Pikachu: Pika Pika.
Buttercup: Well, as you know, I'm the toughest.
Bubbles: Yeah, but you're the worst actor.
Bernie: So, what do you think of my girls?
Professor: His girls, hmph.
Bernie: You know, I've been telling them for years that they have natural talents.
Bubbles: Hey, but we just met you yesterday.
Bernie: Ah, all right, honey. The grownups are talking now. So, you're gonna have to be quiet.
(Professor and the heroes are deeply appalled for what he just said to Bubbles as Pikachu's cheeks began to spark with anger.)
Bernie: (chuckles) Kids. Where was I?
Bubbles: But we did just meet him yesterday. Didn't we?
Bernie: (shouting) I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut!
(Professor and the heroes got really angry knowing that Bernie is not a nice guy.)
Tigger: (angry) I knew that guy is trouble!
Rabbit: This is an outrage!
Misty: That's disgusting!
Professor: Mr. Bernstein, we need to have a little talk.
Pooh Bear: Bernie is mean to Bubbles all of the sudden.
Eeyore: Uh-oh.
Piglet: Oh, what should we do?
Ash Ketchum: (growls) I should give Bernie the shock treatment from Pikachu.
Pikachu: Pika!
Brock: You're right. Bernie needs to be taught a lesson.
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Ash Ketchum: Oh, Professor, this is stupid!
Misty: Yeah, you look ridiculous in that dress!
Professor: Look, guys, I know this is stupid and weird, but I'm doing this so I can talk to the girls and expose Bernie as a fraud.
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Professor: Nothing too distracting, huh? We'll see about that.
Actor: What's that, toots?
Professor: (female voice) Oh, nothing, dear.
Bernie: Places, everyone! Powerpuffs?! Feeling better, Buttercup?
Buttercup: Yes, Bernie.
Bernie: Good, all right. Action!
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Bernie: WOULD SOMEBODY MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!
(Everyone stares at him in stunned silence for a moment. The Professor breaks it.)
Professor: I'd be glad to! You, sir, Mr. Bernstein, are a fraud, a fake, a con artist! (stepping out from behind counter) And I, for one, am not the type of man who will stand by and let a crook - (passing "robber") ...excuse me - a crook like you... (Close-up of the bewildered Mayor. He continues o.c.) ...steal from the good people of Townsville!
Mayor: By golly, she's good! And cute, too. (He laughs and growls softly. Back to the Professor.)
(Our heroes groan in frustration at the mayor's obliviousness.)
Professor: And I, sir, am not the type of man who would let a creep like you exploit his children! (flipping hair on wig) Hmph!
(The girls look from him to Bernie, who dips his head and clicks his tongue sadly. Obviously, it will take more than that from the Professor to expose his real intentions.)
Bernie: Oh, Professor. Why didn't you just say something? I mean, if you wanted to be in the move so bad, all you had to do was ask...instead of trying to embarrass me, and frankly yourself, with these wild allegations.
Girls: Aw, Professor!
Professor: What?! Don't listen to him! I'm telling you, it's all a con!
Bernie: Dr. Plutonium, please! If you are quite finished, we have a lot of work to do.
(He pounds the side of his camera on the word "work." After a moment, it swings open on hinges. There is no film inside. The revelation causes Bernie to start in surprise as he realizes he just exposed part of the truth regarding his con-artist plan by his own unintentional mistake.)
Professor: Look! See?! No film in the camera! (running to it) See, no film! (laughing hysterically) There, I gotcha! You can't make a movie without film! Fraud! Fake! Con man!
(Bernie laughs nervously for a bit before coming up with an answer to try and save his scheme.)
Bernie: We're, uh, rehearsing. Y-You don't use film for rehearsal. (laughing briefly) So back off. (He waves the Professor away.)
(The girls look disappointingly at their father figure, who glances around the room, trying to find another means to prove Bernie's a fraud, and finally lights on a copy of the movie script that has been left on a chair. Picking it up, he leafs quickly through it and holds it open for everyone to see. The pages are blank.)
Professor: (nearly unhinged) Look! See?! It's blank! No script! How do you make a movie with no script?!
(Cut to behind him. He is holding the empty book toward Bernie.)
Bernie: (laughing, walking to girls) Script? Who needs a script? We're going for, uh...uh, cinema vereeti...(walking o.c. past them) ...a reality kind of thing. (Back to the Professor. He continues o.c.) You know what I mean?
Professor: (pleadingly) Girls, please. You've gotta believe me! I heard him myself.
(The girls hover silently for a few long seconds, trying to decide whose story to accept: Bernie's or the Professor's.)
Bubbles: (softly) I believe you, Professor.
Tigger: Oh, you see, Professor?! We told you this was stupid!
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Ash Ketchum: So, the professor told us that you're a phony movie director!
Misty: We demand an explanation from you!
Brock: WE NEED TO TALK!!!
Pikachu: Pikachu!
(Professor and the heroes glare furiously at Bernie.)
Bernie: Uh, look, Professor, baby, kids, I can explain! it's not what you all think, man! Can we talk about it, please?
Rabbit: We don't want to hear anymore of your excuses!
Tigger: Yeah, brunos! We're all gonna teach you a lesson!
Heroes: Professor?
(Professor nods his head in agreement and then he prepares to punch Bernie.)
Bernie: (pleadingly) No, no, no! (gets punched in the face)
Heroes: Yeah!
Pikachu: Pika!
Girls: All right!
Professor: And that's a wrap, Mr. Bernstein!
Pooh Bear: Bravo, Professor!
Piglet: Well said!
Girls: Professor, you did it!
Bubbles: Oh, guys, we're sorry.
Buttercup: For letting ourselves get so sucked into that dumb movie stuff.
Blossom: I mean what a dumb idea to make a Powerpuff movie.
Tigger: Aww, don't sweat it, girls.
Professor: Well, yeah. That was a dumb idea. But this. This would make a great movie.
Misty: What do you mean, Professor?
Professor: The Powerpuff Girls movie about the making of the Powerpuff movie. And, I'll arrive at the end with the finishing blow showing off my awesome physique. Of course I'll probably have to work out a little and hit the tanning salon, get my gray touched up at the temples. (chuckles)
(The heroes roll their eyes then a background shot shows up.)
Narrator: Oh, brother. So once again, I guess the day is saved thanks to... (the professor appears still wearing his woman disguise) smart guy in the dress. Ugh, he looks just like my mom!
(The End)