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== The Beginning == (The scene opens to Pig in the Farmer's house) * '''Pig: (typing)''' ''I can no longer hide my love for you. "I desire you with all of my heart. Signed, your adoring'' admirer." Print! Oh, man, if that doesn't win The "Why I Love Flaky Tarts" contest, Nothing will. * Oh, flaky tarts, I love you. * Otis: Pig, get out of the way! Bessy just insulted me, and need to go onto ''Incrediblywittycomebacks.moo'' and get a clever retort. Here we are. Now, let's see... Bessy called me a warehouse of stupid. "Possible comebacks..." Oh, these are good. These are very good. I shall skew you with the words I have taken Of the interwebs, lady cow. [Laughs] print. Thanks, pig. * Pig: No problem. Hey, where's my flaky tarts love letter? Well, I'll just print another. * [Laughing] oh, yeah. * [Clears throat] * Oh, yeah, bessy? * Well... "Same to you." * Yeah, huh? * You want some more of that, huh? * Here we go. * "In your face." * [Laughs] * Ah, that had "face" in it. * I got another one. * "As if." * Ha! Dine on that sandwich. * Whoo! Kapow! * Ha, ha! * Man, revenge is sweet. * You say something, moron? * [Whistling] * Hey, surprise fun letter. * "I can no longer hide my love for you. (Otis finishes reading the letter to the others) * Otis: "''I desire you with all of my heart. Signed, your adoring admirer''." * Freddy: Hot stuff. * Peck: How about that. Who do you think said it? * Otis: I don't know. * Pip: Come on, guys. Isn't it obvious? * Otis: It is? Who--who is it? Is it Henna? Or that new she-goat? * Pip: Oh, come on. It's someone we know really well. * Otis: Bessy?!?! * -No way, it's her. * -She hates your guts. * Peck: Everett? * -He's a dog and fragile. * Freddy: Give us the species. * Pip: It's someone we see every day. * Otis: Mrs. Beady? * Peck: Mr. Beady? * Freddy: Wonder Lady? * Pip: No, it's Abby! * Otis: Abby? You mean-- you mean our Abby? You think? No. Although--Really? Abby? * Pip: I told you. You should tell her you like her back. * Otis: What? No way. Too risky. What if it's not from her? * Lincoln: Yep, been there before. My sisters and I thought that once with a secret admirer note once. * Otis: Agreed. That would be the worst thing ever. * Freddy: Well, maybe not the worst thing. (imagines himself being attack by scorpions) Mad scorpions! Get 'em off me! I'm not kidding. This is very, very uncomfortable! (suddenly crushed by a meteor) * Peck: Um, that would be worse. (crushed by meteor) * Pip: Yep. * Otis: No, I need to be 100% sure that Abby wrote that letter before I tell her I like her. * Pip: Why don't you just ask her if she wrote it? * Otis: Ask her? That's crazy talk. I'll use lies, subterfuge, and deceit. (laughs maniacally) * Peck: I'm okay. (suddenly crushed by a bigger meteor) * -Seriously where do these meteor even coming from anyway? * Hey. * Everyone: (startled) * Pig: What are you guys doing? * Freddy: Otis is trying to get abby to admit she wrote him a love letter. * Pig: A love letter? Huh, no kidding? I just wrote a love letter this morning to-- * Otis: Pig, please I need to begin Operation: Girl Talk. * Peck: Operation Girl Talk? Yeah. * I'm gonna call abby pretending to be hanna, * Engage her in some girl talk, * And get her to say who she has a crush on. * Love it. Brilliant. * It can't miss. Luckily, I'm a gifted mimic. * Hello. * [In girl's voice] oh, hello, abby. * This is hanna the female girl hen. * Bagock! * Oh, hi, hanna. What's up? * I'm in. * Yes, well, you know, I thought I'd call * To chat and stuff and, I don't know, * Talk about boys we like. * Okay. Who do you like? * Who do you like? * You go first. Oh. * Well, okay. * Um, I like...uh, peck. * He's keen. * Uh-huh. What else do you like about him? * [Groans angrily] * Well, he's handsome, * And his feathers don't stink. * Hey, peck, otis likes you. * Otis and peck sitting in a tree... * Would you keep it down? * So anyway, who do you like? * Well, I am kind of stuck on somebody. * Uh-huh, uh-uh. Go on. * I don't think it's any secret * That I have a big old crush on... * Hey, abby. Hi, hanna. * Hanna? * Oh, it's on. * You really want to know who? * Yes, yes. Tell me. * Abby: I have a huge crush on... (blows a airhorn through the phone making Otis' brain pop out) Otis, you thought you could prank me, * But I totally got you. * Huh? * I said, "I totally got you." * What? I totally got you! * What? * Otis. Ah! A mouse! * Oh, it's you, pip. * What are you doing under the table? * Well, abby and bessy always have lunch here every day. * If abby wrote that love letter to me, * She's bound to tell her best friend. * Why don't you just ask her if she wrote the letter? * Don't be ridiculous. * Besides, girls love to talk about this stuff. * They got some kind of gall bladder enzyme, * And it makes 'em all blabbidy. * Man, you really know women. * Oh, here they come. Later. * [Gasps] * [Whispering] psst. It's otis. * He's on one of his pranking kicks. * Follow my lead. * Oh, gee, bessy. * This table is a little off. * Would you help me get it into place? * Sure. No problem. * Move it that way. No, this way! * Now shake it about. * Shake it up. Now groove it over. * Now tilt it. Tilt it back. * Hard. Harder! * So now we can eat. * Bessy, would you pass the salt for my fries? * Sure. In fact, let me salt them for you. * Okay. * [Groans] * Oops. I spilled the super hot sauce. * Here, let me squeeze some lemon on that. * Oh, darn. * There goes the extra-thick molasses. * Oh, snap. * I spilled the sardine chum chowder. * Here, let me warm your food with a flamethrower. * These hot embers might do a better job. * Ow. * Whoopsy, toxic waste. * Say, I wonder what would happen * If I shoved this giant sword through the table. * [Screaming] oh, no. * My body is tender. * [Laughter] * Oh, okay. Yeah, I see. * Yes, it's very hilarious. * Oh, it serves you right for trying to prank us. * Prank you. [Laughs] * Hey, and for your information, i...uh, * Happen to have been looking for the lost city of the incas. * Nope, not there. Well, I'm off. * An explorer's work is never done. * [Laughter] * I got to find out if abby wrote that love letter. * For the last time, just ask her. * Please. That's the coward's way out. * It's so funny that you got a love letter today, * Since just this morning, i-- * Pig, please. I'm trying to think. * Why don't you check if abby has a love shrine to you? * A what? * You know, a secret shrine to her beloved, * Like my shrine to chef jacque labeouf, * Inventor of the chicken nugget. * How long's that been there? A couple of years. * A love shrine. * That's just the proof I need. * Freddy, peck, you go distract abby. * Pip, meet me at abby's stall in five minutes. * We've got a shrine to find. * Ooh. I'm full. * [Munching and crunching sounds] * [Spy music] * ♪ * Hey, abby, where have you been? * Yeah, we hardly see ya anymore. * I see you guys every day. * Really? That's fantastic. * Hey, who wants to guess my weight? * Oh, abby does. Abby does! * I'll pass. * Oh. Hey! * Was that a bucket? * Hey, let's play charades. * Say, you wouldn't be trying to stall me * While otis sets up another prank, would you? * Both: uh... Want to wrestle? * Wrestle? Why didn't you say so? * [Joints pop and cr*ck] * [Yelling] * Shrine. Shrine. * Got to find a shrine. * Dude. A shrine? * No. Hair dye. Abby's not a real blond. * Would you keep looking? * It's got to be around here somewhere. * Maybe it's in her super secret drawer. * She doesn't have a super-- hey, here it is. * What? * Oh, my gosh. A super secret drawer! * [Groaning] okay. Okay. Uncle. * Wait a minute. * You fellas don't like wrestling. You are trying to stall me. * Peck: No, we weren't. * Freddy: Yeah, Otis isn't going through your stuff, if that's what you're thinking. * -FREDDY, SHUT UP!!!! * Abby: HE'S WHAT!?!?! * Yeah, come on. Open. * Why won't you open? * [Gasps] abby! * Abby: Otis, what are you doing in my stall, and why is Pip blond? * Pip: Later. (runs off) * Stall? Is this your stall? * What's a stall? * I thought this was my super secret drawer. * I mean, I'm inspecting for termites. * Termite: It's a lie. * No, no, no. Seriously. I-- * Whoa! * [Grunts] * [Shrieks] * Otis: Oh, why won't you just admit that you wrote me that love letter so I can admit that maybe I might feel the same way and we can get on with our lives. * Abby: (drops Otis) Love letter? Otis, I never wrote you a love letter. * Otis: What? You mean you never--You didn't-- * -That's what I was trying to tell you Otis. * -The letter wasn't for you. * Otis: So you wrote the letter? * -No, I didn't write it; and neither did Abby. * Otis: Then who did wrote it and was it for? * [Car horn honks] * Huh? What's that? * I won. * I won! * Both: don't be stupid, don't be dumb. * Eat flaky tarts. They're yum, yum, yum. * Now here's flaky. * I want to speak to the author of this * "Why I love flaky tarts" letter. * Me, me. That's me. * I wrote that letter. * Well, I hope you're hungry, because you've just won * A lifetime supply of flaky tarts! * True story! * [Sweeping instrumental music] * ♪ * Otis: "''Why I love flaky tarts''" letter? * -Yeah, Pig enter a contest for a lifetime supply of his favorite snack. * -And it looks like the letter you thought was from Abby won. * Pip: You could've just asked her. * Otis: You know, you could have suggested that before. * Abby: Um, Otis... * Otis: (shrieks seeing Abby right behind him) *Abby: What was it you were saying about feeling the same way? *Otis: Oh, that. Well, I can easily...Uh, I mean, um...Social discomfort! (runs away) * Abby: (sighs) (Abby pulls out a key in her hair and heads back to her stall. Where she opens her super secret drawer revealing a secret compartment of a mural of Otis. Back outside, everyone was shocked that the groaning Pig ate the entire shipment of Flaky Tarts.) * Flaky Mascot: Wow, kid, I didn't expect you to eat a lifetime supply of Flaky Tarts in one afternoon. * -Oh you have no idea what he's capable of eating. * -You should have seen him after he ate an entire field of corn. * Pig: Oh? (imagines the mascot as a real Flaky Tart laughing and slowly moves towards him) * Flaky Mascot: Seriously, you're creeping me out. You--you do know this is a costume, right? * Pig: Pig want eat big flaky tart. * -RUN FLAKY!!! * -RUN FOR FLAKY LIVE!!! * Flaky: (screams and runs away) Get away from me! The giant pig boy is trying to eat me! Is anyone gonna help me, or am I just talking to myself? Seriously, this is just rude. At least fade out the scene. [[Category:LegoKyle14]] [[Category:Magmon47]] [[Category:Episodes]] [[Category:Transcripts]] [[Category:Winnie the Pooh goes Back at The Barnyard Season 2's Episodes]]
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