Child Fearing/Transcript

Narrator: The city of Townsville!

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Ash: You don't mind if I look after the girls, do you, Professor?

Girls: Mojo Jojo?!

Ash Ketchum: Mojo, you're babysitting the girls, seriously?!

Mojo Jojo: That is correct, Ash. It is I, Mojo Jojo who is your babysitter! I will be sitting you, babies, which means you will listen to me! You will obey every command! I give the orders! And you will follow them! Therefore, I order you to help me take over Townsville!

Ash Ketchum: (laughs) Oh, you can't be serious, Mojo. I already volunteered to look after the girls for the Professor.

Pikachu: Pikachu!

Mojo Jojo: I am serious, Ash.

Girls: (look at each other for a moment) WE'RE HUNGRY!

Mojo Jojo: Perhaps you did not hear me. (They jump up in his face, and he falls to the floor.)

Girls: DINNER TIME!

Pooh Bear: Uh, girls, what are you doing?

Girls: Shh! (winks at them)

Heroes: Oh... (smirk at Mojo) It's dinner time, Mojo!

Mojo Jojo: Okay, okay, okay. If you want dinner, you will get dinner. But after you eat, you will, without hesitation, help me take over Townsville! (standing up, changing tone) Now, girls, prepare to have your taste buds delighted. for I, Mojo Jojo, am not only number-one villain in Townsville, but am also...

(Quick pan to the kitchen. Mojo is now dressed in a chef's uniform.)

Mojo Jojo: ...number-one chef in Townsville! Huy!

(Mojo pulls up a grill and sprays some cooking oil the girls watch in amazement, he pulls out two knives and throws to the ceiling placing the fish, some zucchinis, and a handful of shrimp on the grill.)

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Mojo: Please. (Bubbles dips the shrimp into the sauce) No dipping shrimp! Fish only!

(The girls chew on the shrimp as Mojo nods his head.)

Girls: This food stinks!

Tigger: I agree with the girls for the food Mojo made. I'm not hungry.

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Brock: Okay, now that Mojo's gone, who's hungry for Chinese take-out?

Girls: Ooh! We are! We are! We are!

Brock: You girls may not know that, but I am also a chef as well and I cook for my ten little brothers and sisters back home.

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Mojo Jojo: (hoarsely) I have had enough games. Forget taking over Townsville. Just please go to bed.

(The girls jump up in his face, knocking him to the floor a third time.)

Girls: TV TIME!

(Close-up of them, all talking excitedly at once about wanting to watch their favorite show, then an extreme close-up of Mojo's braincap. We can hear the kettle boiling over in his head, and after a few seconds he tips his face up into view.)

Mojo Jojo: ALL RIGHT! (wearily) Please, if it'll make you shut up, watch TV.

Girls: Yay!

(They slide across the floor and stop in front of the TV, with Bubbles holding the remote. Mojo settles into a chair behind and facing away from them.)

Mojo Jojo: (relaxing) Ahhh.... peace and quiet.

Dragon: Top o' the mornin', kids. It's me, Blarney, the singin' sea serpent. Bet you can't guess what I be. (Cut to the girls.)

Bubbles: (raising her arms) Bunny rabbit! (Close-up of the TV.)

Blarney: Aye. A bunny rabbit. Why don't we sing a bunny rabbit song?

(A happy little melody starts up, and Blarney begins bobbing his head back and forth. The girls, and even finally Mojo, do the same.)

Ash Ketchum: (starts to feel uneasy) Uh, I think we might want to cover our ears with this.

Tigger: Cover our ears? Why? I think this is cute.

Brock: It is. But wait until it gets to the main part.

Blarney: (singing) If I were a bunny, I'd... (shouting) HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP!...HOP! HOP! HOP!🎵

(He jumps up and down, and the girls do likewise on all fours - landing hard enough to shake the whole house and everything in it, including Mojo. Close-up of Blarney again; now he has traded the bunny ears for a rhinoceros horn.)

Rabbit: Yikes! Yeesh! You guys aren't kidding about this show.

Misty: Yeah, but at least it's helping fight Mojo. Now, keep your ears shut.

Blarney: (singing) If I were a rhino, I'd... (shouting) STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!...STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!...STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!🎵

(Now he stomps his feet, and the girls do the same, once again shaking the entire house, including Mojo. Close-up of Blarney once again; now he has ditched the horn and strapped a fish head to his snout.)

Blarney: (singing) If I were a fish, I would... (shouting) SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!...SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!...SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!🎵

(The girls do what the song says, causing Mojo to stuff his fingers in his ears as he grinds his teeth, making them crack. It is clear the show the girls selected was meant to drive him even more bonkers with their behavior. Back to the girls at the TV.)

Blarney: Ok, lads and lassies. Now let's all join in.

Pooh Bear: Join in, huh?

Piglet: What do you girls think?

(Bubbles shoots a look at Blossom as if to say, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?". Blossom passes the look to Buttercup, who looks with wicked delight o.c. Quick pan over to a truly terrified Mojo.)

Mojo: Oh, no! No! No!

Ash Ketchum: Let him have it, girls!

(He is zipped out of his chair and over to the TV, where Blarney continues to sing and produces appropriate props and actions for each line.)

Blarney: If I were a log, I'd ROLL! ROLL! ROLL! (The girls roll Mojo across the floor.)

Mojo: Stop! What are you doing? Wait!

Blarney: If I were a ball, I'd BOUNCE! BOUNCE! BOUNCE! (The girls dribble Mojo like a basketball.)

Mojo: Help! I do not like this!

(The heroes laugh hysterically at Mojo's misfortune.)

Blarney: If I were a rake, I'd RAKE! RAKE! RAKE!

(The girls yank Mojo outside, grab him by the legs, and use his teeth to rake the lawn.)

Blarney: If I were a hammer, I'd POUND! POUND! POUND!

(The girls yank Mojo back inside and slam him headfirst against a block of wood.)

Blarney: If I were a candle, I'd...

Mojo: ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT! IT'S... (He reaches out to grab them.) TIME... (He rushes them up the stairs.) FOR... (From inside the bedroom, we see the door flung open and Mojo in the hall.) BED!!

(He throws them onto the bed; Bubbles and Buttercup land in each other's sections. Close-up of him as he turns to leave, wiping his forehead in relief at finally getting them to bed so he can finally relax and regain whatever sanity he has left until the Professor gets home.)

Mojo: (very relieved) Whew! Finally. Mojo get peace.

(The heroes stand in front of the girls' bedroom door.)

Misty: Nuh-uh-uh, Mojo. You're forgetting one more thing.

Brock: You gotta read the girls a bedtime story first.

Bubbles: They're right, you know.

Blossom: We can't sleep without a story!

Buttercup: Yeah!

(Pull back to show Mojo at the doorway, crying and whimpering, his back to the girls. It is clear this is not what he wanted with him on his last shred of sanity, and this only is making him think to himself, "When will this torture end...?". He turns around.)

Mojo: (begging) All right! (kneeling) But only if you go to sleep!

(The girls nod and point toward the side of the bed. He sits down on a stool there.)

Mojo: Very well, then. I will tell you my favorite story... about the greatest conqueror who ever lived, Napoleon!

(A mental picture appears above Mojo's head: the French dictator, looking very monkey-like, with his country's flag behind him. As the story begins, zoom in on this view.)

Mojo: (rapid fire) He was a mighty man, feared by all who looked up to him.

(Napoleon stands on a pedestal in front of a group of saluting soldiers. Cut back to Mojo, who continues telling his story at top speed.)

Mojo: Using his genius and his loyal army, he conquered all of Europe,

(Behind him is a map of the continent in his mental picture; it lights up green. Cut to a full-screen map of Asia.)

Mojo: (voice-over) then all of Russia, (It too goes green; then we see the entire globe.) and finally the whole world. The end.

Girls: (voice-over) BORING!

(The mental picture cracks and shatters, leaving Mojo standing there shocked in the bedroom. Blossom jumps out of bed, holding her pillow.)

Rabbit: Your story's all wrong!

Tigger: Yeah, Brunos! That's not how it all happened!

Misty: Tell him how it all happened, girls!

Blossom: With pleasure! You see, Mojo, we've been doing our homework on Napoleon and knew all about his history unlike you! And it went something like this! Napoleon's 1807 seizure of Portugal and the subsequent rebellion by the Spaniards cost France over 300,000 casualties, untold sums of money, and contributed to the eventual weakening of the Napoleonic empire!

(She hits him with the pillow. Bubbles jumps out of bed, carrying hers.)

Bubbles: And your analysis on the invasion of Russia is also incorrect! Napoleon's invasion of 1812 resulted in massive casualties of his troops, due to starvation and inclement conditions, and ended in a disastrous retreat from Moscow with his army defeated!

(She socks him with the pillow. Buttercup jumps to the floor with hers.)

Buttercup: Yeah, dummy! And when he returned to France, the allied nations of Europe united against him, which led to his eventual defeat at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815, whereafter he was exiled to the island of St. Helena, where he died a miserable death from stomach cancer on May 5, 1821, stupid!

(She lets him have it with the pillow, then all three start swinging. They chase Mojo out of the room, into the hall, and o.c. left as he cries out and yells during the next line. Feathers float back into view; on the end of the line, he bolts down the stairs.)

Mojo Jojo: (while being pounded) No! Stop! I do not like this! I ordered you to stop! Aah! Owww! No! I command you to stop!

Ash Ketchum: Come back here, you cowardly chimpanzee!

Brock: Come back and fight like a man!
Ash Ketchum: Stop him, Pikachu!
(Pikachu shocks Mojo with his thunderbolt.)
Mojo Jojo: Ouch!

-

Professor Utonium: Girls, what are you and your friends doing outside?
Blossom: We were, uh, just saying "good night" to the babysitter.
Professor Utonium: Oh, my little angels. But it's time for bed now.