Barnyards and Broomsticks/Transcript

Here's 18th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins when Otis, Pooh and their friends were hiking to find a campsite)

• Otis: Ah! Mah! Chop! (cuts off a bush) Come on guys, my camp sense tells me were about to find the campidous spot for camping!
• Peck: (tired) Otis, we've been hiking for hours.
• Pig: And I think I sat on a pinecone. (removes Pip from his butt)
• Pip: I'm not a pinecone!
• Sunset Shimmer: Otis, we're all getting very tired.
• Abby: What was wrong with the last camp site?
• Freddy: (face covered in leeches) I think it may have leeches.
• Leni: Eww.
• Winnie the Pooh: I would really like some honey right now.
• Lincoln: Otis, we gotta stop hiking now.
• Otis: Eh, don't be such whinny heads. (made a tree branch smack Freddy and Peck) Shut your noise holes and enjoy the wonders of nature.

(A bear stands in front of them and roared scarring everyone, even the leeches on Freddy's face)

• Lana: Cool, a bear.
• Otis: (Laughing) Amateur campers, how adorable. I'll handle this! Shoo bear, shoo! (the bear approached him)
• Bear: Who you telling "shoo"? Why I outta!
• Otis: No, I outta!
• Bear: No, I outta!
• Otis: (loudly) No, I outta!
• Bear: Ok, sorry. (walks away)

(Everyone else were talking while amazed)

• Abby: Otis, that was impressive.
• Sunset Shimmer: Yeah, you stood up to a bear.
• Otis: Oh, well Abby and Sunset Shimmer, there's a very simple explanation. I am the King of Camping!
• -It was a great idea to go camping this weekend.
• Emma: You bet it is. We'll roast marshmallows, and tell ghost stories, and get bitten by all kinds of bugs!
• Mia: It does sound like fun
• Stephanie: Most of it.

(Later, everybody was at their campsite all preparing their tents and the camp)

• Freddy: (Nailed down the tent) Finished. Why do I have an extra tent spike?
• Peck: I think I might know.
• Timmy Turner: I gotta go.
• Rabbit: Then just build a latrine.
• Lola: That sounds French. A latrine, what is this?
• Lana: It's a hole you poop in!

(Lola shrieks)

(Pig lies in a hamack but breaks a few trees)

• Pig: Oh yeah, that's the stuff.(Abby tried to start a fire)
• Otis: Oh Abby. Your technique is all wrong.
• Abby: Oh, you think you can do better?
• Otis: (pulls out a blowtorch) As previously stated, I am the King of Camping!
• VO: King of Camping is a register trademark of the Tamaguchi Corporation.

(At night, everyone was singing a song)

• Peck: You were right Otis. Camping is awesome.
• Pig: I don't mind sitting on pine cones anymore.
• Pip: It still me.
• Pig: My bad.
• Phineas: Ahh. Just how I like 'em. You just earned your marshmallow patch, my friend.
• Candace: (sighs)
• Donald Duck: Like, is the popcorn ready yet?
• Spike the dog: No. Tigger and Rabbit are arguing again.
• Rabbit: Tigger, that's too much corn and you're holding to close to the heat.
• Tigger: Relax, bunny boy. Popping corn is one of the things Tiggers do best.

(Than, the Popcorn goes popping crazy)

• Rabbit: I knew there was too much corn in that popper.
• Tigger: Oh fiddlesticks. You just grew too much pop in your corn.
• Luan: (laughs) That was hilarious.
• Otis: Ok, guys. It's time to tell scary campfire stories.

(Everyone gets excited)

• Phineas: I got one.
• -Maybe we should let someone else have a turn before.
• -How 'bout you Baljeet.
• Baljeet: W-what? Uh, uh, oh. Thank you. (Flashlight switch flips; Wolf howls) Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country, and goes to camp. He, like, has to share a tent with a bully. It's really quite terrifying, actually. Quite terrifying.
• -Akward.
• -So, want do got Phineas?
• Phineas: All right, (). I've got a good one. It's about Bigfoot!
• -But we already met Bigfoot.
• Phineas: Yeah, but not...his dad! And when the moon is full, like it is tonight, Bigfoot's dad will come down with his hairy brethren, and have a bite. (Leaves rustling) Huh? What was that noise?

(Suddenly shadowy figures appeared and scares everyone)

• Baljeet: I really should have packed more underpants...
• Phineas: You guys crack me up! (Laughing)
• Isabella: Phineas, what are you talking about?
• Phineas: There's no other Bigfoot! It's just Ferb in the tree! Look! See? They're just dummies! (At Ferb) Nice rope skills, my friend!
• -But if that's Ferb, then who's this?
• Phineas: Ah, it's an inflatable Ferb. (Air hissing) Sounds like Ferb too.
• Buford: That was awesome!
• -Yeah, I got to hand it to you, you'd had scared the pants off.
• Otis: Well, you two pull off a starting scare. but Prepare yourselves for the scariest, most hideous forest monster ever live.
• Winnie the Pooh: Bowser?
• Otis: No.
• Timmy Turner: Vicky?
• Otis: Nope.
• Leni: Lisa?
• Otis: No, it is only know as...MOOSESHARK!!!!

(Everyone throws marshmallows at Otis)

• Human Rarity: That's less scary than Lucy.
• Lucy: I resent that. (scare Rarity)
• Otis: Come on he has antler made out of fear. And if you say his name 3 times, he appeared out of the ground and eats your face meat.
• -Oh please.
• Pip: Hey, Otis. I got a story that should scare even you.
• Otis: Ha. It might if I weren't impervious to fear.
• Pip: Whatever. Give me the flashlight. (pushes Otis off the rock) Ok. (clears throat) This is a spooky spooky tale of the Piney Woods Witch. They say in this very forest, there is a strange old lady who lives in a cottage entirely made of gingerbread. One day, some campers got lost while wandering through the woods (a few minutes later) And then the Piney Woods Witch shoved them in the oven, cooked them and devour them whole!

(Everyone was amazed)

• Abby: What you think, Otis?
• Otis: (hides in the sleeping bag) It was alright. I'm not scared. It's not like the witch is real. Please say the witch isn't real!

(Everyone was laughing)

• Peck: Guys, I think Otis is actually scared.
• Pip: Dude I thought you were impervious to fear.
• Otis: I was before I knew that these wood was filled with her piney evilness. (Hears hooting and jumps on Abby) Strange Noise!
• Abby: Oh Otis, for goodness sake. Don't be such a baby.
• Otis: Don't you guys hear that noise? She coming for us. She coming for us!
• Abby: (looks behind a branch) It's just a old owl on a typewriter.
• Owl: I hate to write but I love having written.
• Otis: I knew that. (stutters) I'm great now.
• Lucy: Boo.
• Otis: AHHH, PINEY WOODS WITCH!!!! HIDE ME!!! (hit with a tree branch) Nap time. (faints)
• Human Rainbow Dash: Lucy!
• Lucy: I couldn't resist.
• Pig: Who want's S'mores?
• Abby: Sounds good to me.

(Everybody agreeing to s'mores)

The Middle

(The next morning)

• Abby: Ah, nothing like a night in country air.

(Everyone agrees)

• Pip: How'd you sleep, Otis? (he doesn't respond) Otis? (opens the tent and sees a cabin)
• Rabbit: When did you build a cabin?
• Goofy: Didn't you sleep last night?
• Otis: Sleep? I guess I could have slept. IF I WANTED TO END UP IN A WITCH'S OVEN!!!!

(Everyone couldn't believe him)

• Abby: All right guys. Let's pack it up.
• Otis: (speeds pack) Yes, yes. The sooner we get out of this witch infested forest the better. Now which way is home?
• Freddy: That's easy. I left a trail of breadcrumbs for us to follow back.
• Pig: Oh that was those were? They were delicious.

(Everyone became angry)

• Pip: It's ok guys. I pack a compass.
• Pig: Oh that was a compass. I thought it was a watch. I ate it.
• Abby: Well it's a good thing I never go anywhere without my portable GPS unit.
• Pig: That was delicious.
• Peck: Nobody panic. Moss grows on the north side of trees. So..
• Pig: Ate it.
• Piglet: Don't worry I left a trail of pink jelly beans in case of emergencies.
• Winnie the Pooh: Oh, bother. I ate the trail.
• Lori: Don't worry, I have locator on my phone. (sees it's at 1%) What? No! This can't be happening!
• Timmy Turner: I got this. Guys, I wished we were back home.
• Cosmo and Wanda: Your wish is our... (realizes they have turkey legs) poultry?!
• Wanda: Oh, great! We must have misplaced our wands again.
• Cosmo: Mmmm! No wonder my wand tastes so delicious. Are you gonna finish your wand?
• Otis: So what your all saying, we're lost in the woods.
• Pip: Pretty much, yeah.
• Otis: WE'RE DOOMED!!! (echoes) Doom! Doom! Doom!

(The owl get annoyed)

• Otis: The piney woods witch will devour us all! She's probably watching us right now! I don't taste good! I'm very gamy if you're watching! (Shutters)
• Abby: Otis, snap out of it. (slaps him)

(Everyone slaps Otis)

• Abby: Guys, slapping Otis won't help us find our way home.
• Freddy: You're right, let's kick him!
• Abby: No, Freddy.
• Lori: What do we do? I can't go without my phone, I could literally die.
• Lola: (slaps Lori) Get it together, woman!
• Donald Duck: Yeah, you need to calm down.
• Lori: Thanks. I needed that. But I'll get you back.
• Abby: Now listen, I'm pretty sure the barnyard's back that a way. If we keep moving we'll be home in no time.
• Narrator: 6 hours later...

(Everyone felt tired)

• Lisa: In no time you said.
• Sci-Twi: (sarcastic) Nice directions, Abby.
• Human Fluttershy: I'm even more tired than when we left.
• Otis: This is the witch's work. The forest is lousy with her moist evil.
• Peck: Otis, for the last time, there is no witch!
• Otis: I'm telling you the witch is out there. I can smell her witchiness.
• Pig: Hey I smell witchiness too. (smells again) No wait that's cinnamon.

(They continued to follow the smell)

• Spike the Dog: What if there really is a witch?
• Lincoln: Come on Spike. You're worse than Otis.
• Timmy Turner: Yeah, it's not like we're gonna find a house entirely made out of sweets in the middle of a forest.
• Winnie the Pooh: Look.

(Everyone looked by a bush and was amazed by a giant candy house)

• Timmy Turner: I stand corrected.
• Otis: I knew it. It's the witch's gingerbread house of horror!
• Pig: (eats a piece) Nope. It's clearly banana bread.

(Everyone was relieved)

• Old woman: Why, hello there.
• Otis: Ahhh, Piney Woods Witch! Don't look her in the eye! She'll steal your soul and use it as a tea cozy!
• Old woman: Goodness. You campers must be lost and hungry. Why don't you come inside my banana bread cottage and I'll fixed you a snack.

(Every was thinking about passing)

• Old woman: You can check your email on my chocolate chip laptop.
• Lori: I say we go.

(Everyone agrees except for Otis)

• Otis: Guys, don't go in there! You'll end up as entrees and a five course meal of terror! (realize he's alone and runs inside)

(Inside the old woman gives a tour of the house)

• Old woman: That's my caramel track lighting, and there's the marzipan rec room. I'm knocking that wall down and putting in peppermint wainscoting.

(Everyone is amazed)

• Old woman: Help yourself to whatever you see. I'll go get you some fresh buttermilk.

(Everyone started eating everything)

• Winnie the Pooh: Delicious.
• Tigger: Delectable.
• Sunset Shimmer: This can not get any better.
• Lisa: Oh, mama! This Theobroma Cacao street name chocolate, is working wonders on my serotonin levels!
• Lily: (pouring some into her bottle) Goo-goo!
• Luna: Dude, there's a sausage field inside one of the bedrooms.
• Timmy Turner and Human Pinkie Pie: Sausage Field? (The two frolic in it) WE FEEL SO GREASY!!!!!
• Otis: Guys, stop eating! Don't you see what she's doing? She's trying to fatten us up for her hideous witches feast!
• Pip: Dude, chill out already.
• Pig: Yeah, she's just a nice old lady that's letting us eat her house. Would you pass the table lamp? (eats it)
• Abby: Oh, come on, Otis. dig in. These doorknobs are delicious.
• Otis: You poor, deluded fools. I'll show you. I'll find proof that she's a witch. I will come back for you!
• Lincoln: We better go with so he dosen't go nuts.
• Winnie the Pooh: Yes.
• Otis: (search the sheleves) Drool cup, laxatives, granties, scalp glue. Got to be something here that proves she's a witch.
• Winnie the Pooh: Otis, she's not a witch.
• Lincoln: Yeah, quit it before we get in trouble.
• Otis: I know she's a witch I just have to--(sees a book) How to Prepare Unwary Passersby. I knew it.
• Lincoln: (Looks at the book again) I think we might have a problem.
• Winnie the Pooh: Oh bother.
• Lincoln: Otis, come back!

The Ending

(Back in the other room, everyone is still eating)

• Old woman: Oh, my. such appetites. Now, don't be shy. Try the sponge cake coffee table.
• Otis: Run for your lives! she's a witch! She's got spiders for blood!
• Old woman: Goodness, young man. that's silly. I'm not a--(pushed into a closet)
• Pig: No!
• Abby: Otis, what are you doing?
• Mickey Mouse: Have you gone insane!?!?
• Otis: Run! I'll eat through this peanut brittle support beam!
• Winnie the Pooh: Otis, wait!

(Otis eats the beams and the house comes tumbling down)

• Peck: Otis, what have you done?
• Otis: I saved you from the witch. That's what I done. Look, I found her cookbook of evil.
• Pip: How to Prepare Unwary Passersby?
• Lincoln: About that....
• Otis: [laughs] YEAH, THAT. Us! unwary! You can all thank me later for I have destroyed the piney woods witch once and for all. for you see-- (Abby calls for Otis) Abby, please, I'm singing my own praises.
• Abby: Otis, read the full title.
• Otis: How to Prepare Unwary Passersby.....For Your Chronic Flatulence. Oh.
• Pip: She wasn't a witch. She was just a gassy old lady.

(Everyone was angry at Otis)

• Sci-Twi: Well, Otis. What do have to say for yourself?
• Otis: Well, you're all welcome then.

(As everyone began shouting at Otis, a rumbling comes under the candy house)

• Peck: That's odd.

(The old woman comes from the wreckage on a flying broom in a dark voice which makes everyone scream)

• Pip: Oh, no. Otis was right. She really is a witch.
• Pig: Look out. She might be gassy.
• Witch: (dark voice) You destroyed my delicious cottage. Now I'm going to eat you all.
• Tigger: Which way do we run?
• Piglet: Where do we hide?
• Rabbit: What's the shortest shortcut home?
• Winnie the Pooh: I believe... that way is a good way.

(Everybody runs away)

• Abby: I'm sorry, Otis. You were right to act like a scared little baby.
• Human Applejack: We're sorry we didn't believe you.

(Everyone else agrees)

• Pip: Yeah, who knew my stupid scary story would turn out to be true?
• Otis: "Stupid scary story." That's it! (stops running)
• Pip: Otis, why are you stopping?
• Otis: Because there's only one thing that can help us now.
• Goofy: What's that?
• Otis: This! Moose shark! Moose shark! Moose shark!
• Abby: Otis, there is no such thing as moose shark. Now, come on. the witch is right behind us.
• Witch: [deep laughter] It's dinnertime. (lifts them in the air)
• Piglet: Oh dear. Who can save us now?

(Suddenly something comes from the bushes)

• Witch: No. It can't be. (drops the heroes) The only thing I truly fear.

(It was a moose with a shark's head)

• Moose Shark: Hi, everybody!
• Witch: Moose shark, begone! These campers are mine.
• Moose Shark: Oh-ho-ho, I don't think so, piney woods witch. Now, shoo! Get out of here.
• Witch: Why I outta.
• Moose Shark: Why I outta.
• Witch: No, I outta!
• Moose Shark: No, I outta!
• Witch: (normal voice) Okay, sorry. (laughs as she flies away)
• All: YAY!
• Otis: Thanks, moose shark. You saved our lives.
• Rabbit: How we can ever repay you?
• Moose Shark: Oh, no problem. Think nothing of it. Now, who wants to be eaten first?

(Everyone screamed)

• Moose Shark: Just kidding. Taxi!

(A taxi comes in and everyone say their goodbyes to Moose Shark)

• Moose Shark: Take the Route One bypass, Ernie. The freeway's murder this time of day.
• Otis: Does anyone have cab fare?
• Abby: I do.
• Human Rainbow Dash: I got this one Abby. Has anyone seen my wallet?
• Pig: I ate it.
• All: PIG!

(The cab drives off)

• Moose Shark: (to the audience) Hey, kids. now it's your turn. Say my name three times, and I'll appear in your living room. Just kidding. (chuckles) Or am I? (snarls)

THE END!