Editing Ash's Adventures of The Muppet Movie/Transcript (section)

== Ash rescues Kermit and Miss Piggy ==
(at the warehouse)

* Doc Hopper: (chuckles) Good, Glen. That's good. Nice and tight.
* Max: The professor's here, Doc.
* Doc Hopper: Show him in. Show him in.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, I'm not a bit worried. I know you're planning something bold and clever.
* Kermit: Well, I got us this far, didn't I?

(outside)

* Matori: Quickly. This way.
* Ash: (looks through) There they are.
* Matori: Shh. Quiet.
* Ash: Sorry.
* Pikachu: (points) Pika, Pika.
* Professor Krassman: (laughs) How are you?
* Doc Hopper: Professor Krassman.
* Professor Krassman: It's good to see you, Doc, you little rustic devil, you. Where's my victim? I mean, patient.
* Doc Hopper: Step this way, Professor.
* Professor Krassman: Of course.
* Ash: Who's that?
* Matori: That's Prof. Krassman. He's one of the escaped scientists who created your friend, Mewtwo.
* Doc Hopper: Let me introduce you to your patient. (to Kermit) Prof. Krassman is the world's leading authority... on mind control in frogs.
* Professor Krassman: It's a very rapidly growing field. You like garlic, don't you?
* Doc Hopper: Tell us what you're gonna do to our little Kermit.
* Professor Krassman: Well, we're going to perform an electronic <nowiki>''</nowiki>cerebrectomy.<nowiki>''</nowiki>
* Doc Hopper: A what?
* Professor Krassman: An electronic cerebrectomy!
* Doc Hopper: What's that?
* Professor Krassman: It's something so sensational that you'll have to hold on to your hat.
* Doc Hopper: Yes?
* Professor Krassman: When a German scientist says...<nowiki>''</nowiki> Hold on to your hat,<nowiki>''</nowiki> it's not casual conversation. Hold on to your hat! Hat, hold! Good! Now, what we're going to do is bring out a machine that's going to wow you. Bertram, Bertram, bring out the machine! Wait till you see this. You think we're sleeping in Dusseldorf? You think we're taking a nap in Cologne? No, we're working at night. Each night, a new dial, a new knob, a diode.
* Doc Hopper: Electronic ce--
* Professor Krassman: Cerebrectomy. Electronic cerebrectomy.
* Doc Hopper: What does it do?
* Professor Krassman: What does it do? It turns the brains into guacamole. 
* Kermit: First of all, I'll pull out of this, okay?
* Miss Piggy: Wonderful. Second?
* Professor Krassman: Halt! I detest the surfeit of provincial laughter. Now, we take your friend, the little <nowiki>''</nowiki> F-O-R-G<nowiki>''</nowiki>...put him in the chair,clamp on the terminals...drop the electronic yarmulke...and throw, what we call in German, the switch. Yes, you little green devil...soon it'll be a hot time at the old skull tonight. Thank you, Herr Machine. Now, the frog will do your bidding. He will do your every whim, He will do your television commercial, yes. He will sell your frogs' legs.
* Doc Hopper: Zaparooni.
* Professor Krassman: Head full of jelly.
* Doc Hopper: A noggin full of library paste! 
* Professor Krassman: Let's fry them brains!
* Doc Hopper: You've got a fun job.
* Professor Krassman: I love it, I love it. If I could inflict a little pain during the afternoon, I sleep good at night.
* Doc Hopper: We'll let you get on with it, then.
* Professor Krassman: My pleasure.
* Doc Hopper: Max. I'll be back later to pick up what's left of the frog.
* Professor Krassman: <nowiki>''</nowiki>What's left of the frog.<nowiki>''</nowiki> You can have everything, excuse the brain.
* Ash: We gotta do something.
* Matori: Don't worry, I got a plan.

(guns surround the trio)

* Ash: Does it involve not getting captured?

(back at the warehouse)

* Doc Hopper: Your loyalty is moving. Sadly, you won't be. Max. (to Professor Krassman) When you're done with the frog, do the same with the kid.
* Professor Krassman: My pleasure. You can have everything, excuse the brain. All right. Bring over the frog.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, whatever happens next...I wouldn't give up this evening together for anything. Would you?
* Kermit: Make me an offer.
* Professor Krassman: Okay, I got him. I got him. Good, good. And why don't we take a little seat, Kermit? Hold his hands down. Get your feeties in place. Will you stop whimpering? Go out like a frog, not a little toad. Okay, Herr Machine, this is big time here. Ready to go to work? Hand clamps! Foot clamps! You can struggle all you want now, frog. It'll do you very little good. All right. And now it's time to drop... the electronic beanie. Soon there'll be enough voltage coursing through your little frog brain...to light up Cincinnati. Here we go.
* Miss Piggy: Oh, please! Not my frog, please!
* Ash: Let him go, you creep!
* Professor Krassman: Say good-bye to the frog, kid.
* Ash: Why should I?
* Professor Krassman: Because in ten seconds, he won't know you from kosher bacon. Same goes for you, Mr. Ex-World Champion.
* Pikachu: (shocked) Pika!
* Miss Piggy: That does it! (escapes and fights the enemy)
* Professor Krassman: What the heck's goin' on here? A pig that goes bananas? What is this, a luau?
* Ash: Is this part of your plan?
* Matori: A large part.
* Henchmen: Where'd she go?
* Miss Piggy: Oh, boys.
* Henchmen: There she is! Get her!
* Professor Krassman: I must reach the switch. I must! Switch-- I must reach--
* Kermit: Oh, no.
* Ash: Miss Piggy! Kermit!

(Miss Piggy stops Professor Krassman in time)

* Miss Piggy: Now, Kermie.
* Kermit: Thank you.
* Professor Krassman: (gets zapped) Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. (faints)
* Ash: Phew! That was close.
* Matori: (to the Matori Matrix) Take him to Lord Bowser!

(the Matori Matrix do so)

* Professor Krassman: Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.
* Matori: Good Luck, kid. (leaves)
* Ash: (nods)
* Pikachu: Pikachu.
* Miss Piggy: Well...shall we go now, fellas?

(phone rings)

* Kermit: Well--just a second. Hello? Piggy, it's your agent.
* Miss Piggy: Thank you. Yeah, Morty. What have you got? Commercial? How much? When? Take it. (to the trio) Umm....Good-bye!
* Ash Ketchum: Women. Let's go, Pikachu.
* Pikachu: Pika!