Editing Ash's Adventures of The Muppet Movie/Transcript

== Opening ==

(The film opens at the front gates of the World Wide Studios in Hollywood and a car drives in carrying Muppets Statler and Waldorf)

Statler: I'm Statler.

Waldorf: I'm Waldorf. We're here to heckle ''Ash's Adventures of The Muppet Movie''.

Gate guard: Gentlemen, that's straight ahead. Private screening room D.

Statler: Private screening?

Waldorf: Yeah, they're afraid to show it in public.

(Both laugh as the car drives them off to the said location in the studio)

Statler: Ah, look at this place. What a dump.

Waldorf: Bunch of weirdos around here. Look at 'em. 

(In private screening room D most of the Muppets and Ash's friends are waiting for Kermit the Frog and Ash Ketchum to appear)

Miss Piggy: Yes, I know you all want to sit with moi

Doglion: Hey, lady. Is this seat taken. (Literally takes the theater seat)

Miss Piggy: What? Hey, you! Hey, bring that back!


Lee Zealand: Do it! (Throws one of his boomerang fish) Yahhhh. (Kermit and Ash Ketchum walk in...) Oh, hey, Mr. the Frog and Mr. Ketchum, is it okay for me and my boomerang fish to be in your movie? (The boomerang fish comes back to Lew). Hey.

Kermit: I told you Lew, not in the movie or at the screening.

Lew Zealand: Hey, but watch. (throws another one) Whoa!

 

Kermit: Hi, everybody, and welcome to the first screening of ''Ash's Adventures of The Muppet Movie''.

== The Rainbow Connection/Ash and friends reunite with Kermit ==
Pikachu: Pika Pika!

== Showtime at the El Sleezo/Meeting Fozzie the bear ==

== Meeting Doc Hopper/The journey begins ==
(Doc turns off the televisions and the heroes felt disgusted upon seeing the commercial.)

Ash Ketchum: (groans) I think I've lost my appetite.

Misty: Ugh! French fried frog legs, that's disgusting!

Zazu: Oh, how dreadful.

Pikachu: Pika Pika. 

Kimberly: Oh, I'm gonna be sick.

Kermit: They're right! That is terrible that is the most appalling, disgusting, revolting thing I've ever seen.

(Jean-Bob fainted)

Doc Hopper: I know, I'm a great business man and a sweet fella, but I do lack the skills of a performer.

Kermit: You also make a lousy frog.

Asami: Yeah, you also make a barbaric man.

Doc Hopper: You, on the other hand are a terrific frog.

Kermit: What?

Fozzie: He's right, you know. You are very likable, Kermit.

Doc Hopper: The bear's right. You, my little likable friend, are gonna do all our television commercials.

Zhane: Forget it, Doc!

Kermit: No way.

== Movin' Right along ==
Ash Ketchum: We already told ya, Hopper. We're not interested. We're going to Hollywood and that's that! (to Fozzie) Fozzie, get us out of here.

Fozzie: Yes, sir!

(Fozzie drives away with Kermit and the heroes.)

Negaduck: Aww, nuts!

Bushroot: The kids got away again!

Doc Hopper: Hey, frog! Kids! That's the second time!

Harley: Oh, brother. The frog is too smart for us!

Two-Face: I'll say he just won't listen to reason.

Doc Hopper: Max, I've done my best with that frog and the kids. Now's the time to do my worst! Open the door!

Max: No, you open the door!

Doc Hopper: What?

Ratigan: What did you just say?!

Max: I'm through, guys. The frog is right, you're asking him to do something terrible I can't be a part of it.

Joker: Oh, really? You don't want to be a part of it?

Max: No, Mr. Joker, it's a moral decision. I'll stand by it and I'm sorry to agree with the boy and his friends he's got a point.

Doc Hopper: I'll double your percentage.

Max: I'll open the door.

Negaduck: Fearsome Five, get over here!

== Meeting the Electric Mayhem ==
Animal: Beat drums! Beat drums! 

(Animal beats his drums with his head.)

Floyd: Down, Animal!

Animal: Down!

Floyd: Back!

Animal: Back!

Floyd: Sit!

Animal: Sit!

== Can You Picture That? ==
(Can You Picture That begins)

Dr. Teeth: 🎵Ohh yeah! Whoo! 

Everybody's lover, everybody's brother, I wanna be your lifetime friend. 

Crazy as a rocket, nothin in my pocket, I keep it at the rainbow's end

I never think of money, I think of milk 'n honey, grinnin' like a Cheshire cat

I focus on the pleasure, somethin' I can treasure, can you picture that?🎵

All: 🎵Can you picture that?🎵

Dr. Teeth: Hey Floyd, take a verse!

Floyed: 🎵Let me take your picture, add it to the mixture, there it is I got you now!

Really nothin' to it, anyone can do it, it's easy and we all know how

Now begins the changin', mental rearrangin', nothing's really where it's at

Dr. Teeth: 🎵Now the Eiffel Tower's holdin' up a flower

I gave it to a Texas cat!🎵

Floyed and Janice: 🎵Fact is there's nothin out there you can't do

Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you🎵

Dr. Teeth: 🎵Beat down the walls, begin, believe, behold, begat

Floyed: 🎵Be a better drummer, be an up and comer

Can you picture that?🎵

Animal: Can you picture that?

Floyed: 🎵All of us are winnin', pickin' and a-grinnin, Lordy but I love to jam🎵

Janice: 🎵Jelly-belly gigglin', dancin' and a-wigglin', honey that's the way I am!

Dr Teeth: 🎵Lost my heart in Texas, Northern lights affect us, I keep it underneath my hat,

Aurora Borealis, shinin down on Dallas! 

Can you picture that?🎵

All: 🎵Can you picture that?

Can you picture?🎵

Dr. Teeth: You gotta see it in your mind!

All: 🎵Can you picture?🎵

Floyed: You know it's quick and easy to find!

🎵Can you picture?🎵

Janice: You don't have to buy a frame!

All: 🎵Can you picture? 

Can you picture that?

Can you picture that?🎵

Floyed: Use it if you need it

Dr. Teeth: Don't forget to feed it!

All: 🎵Can you picture that?🎵

(song ends)

== Meeting Gonzo the Great ==

== Madman Mooney's ==

== Meeting Miss Piggy ==

== Gonzo flies with the balloons ==
Kermit: Gonzo? I wonder where they went?  

Ash: Ketchum: I don't see Misty and Brock either. 

Mewtwo: Keep looking. We'll find them. 

Kermit: Fozzie! 

Fozzie: Kermit! 

Misty: Here we are.

Brock: Here, Ash.

Ash: Ketchum: Thanks.

Fozzie: Where's your pig friend?

Kermit: I'm not really sure. She said she was coming for ice cream, but--

Miss Piggy: Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Here I am! Here I am! I'm packed! I'm packed!

Kermit: Yeah, so I see. What for?

Miss Piggy: You said I could come with you.

Kermit: Yeah, but, to buy ice cream, not to Hollywood.

Miss Piggy: We're going to Hollywood!

Kermit: No! I mean, listen. When I said--

Miss Piggy: Well, when you heard--

Kermit: Oh, brother.

Camilla: (squawking)

Good Fairy: What is Camilla?

Camilla: (squawking)

Kermit: What? Gonzo?

Ash Ketchum: Gonzo! What are you doing?

Gonzo: About seven knots.

Kermit: We'll follow you. 

Mewtwo: To the car, Fozzie!

Fozzie: Yes, sir!

Kermit: Gonzo, we're coming! Step on it, Fozzie.

Fozzie: Yes, sir.

Miss Piggy: Kermit, you're a born leader.

Tommy: Where is he?

Gonzo: Isn't this great? Here I am, floating in space. This is the place to be. Whoopee!

Kermit: Fozzie, bear left.

Fozzie: What?

Kermit: Bear left.

Fozzie: Right, frog.

Kermit: What? That's cute.

Fozzie: Never mind.

Gonzo: This is-- Look at our little car down there. This is like flying. Maybe this is flying. I'm flying! Whoopee!

Max: Doc, isn't that a frog up there?

Doc Hopper: No, that's a frog down here.

Kermit: He's caught in a crosswind, Fozzie.

Korra: We're gonna lose him.

Fozzie: Oh, no!

Robo Knight: Warning! Warning! Villains detected!

Ailsing: It's Hopper!

Stay Puft: And the other villains!

Bowser: What are you doin', Doc?

Doc Hopper: I'm goin' after their tires.

Asami: He's gonna shoot us.

Boba Fett: Two can play at this game. (fires at Doc' car)

Elsa: We're okay now. The wind shifted.

Kermit: Wait a minute. Stay with him, Fozzie. He's right above us. He's okay.

Fozzie: Yeah. Hi, Gonzo!

Kermit: Fozzie, come back in here!

Fozzie: What? Yes, sir.

Kermit: Watch down the road!

Fozzie: Kermit!

Mario: Look out for the billboard!

Stay Puft: We got Gonzo, Boss!

Ash Ketchum: Take off, Fozzie!

Fozzie: Yes, sir!

Penguin: Rats! 

Doc Hopper: Come back, you! No frogs gonna make a monkey out of me!

Mistress 9: I think they just did.

Gonzo: I'm back.

Miss Piggy: I don't understand any of this.

Peter Venkman: That's alright. I don't either.

== Kermit's date with Miss Piggy/Something Better ==

== Kermit and Miss Piggy kidnapped by Doc Hopper ==
Ash: That’s weird. I wonder where Kermit and Piggy are?

Pikachu: Chu. (hears music) Pi?

Ash: What’s up, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pikachu-pika!

Rowlf: Evening. Rowlf. Rowlf the Dog. You’re the Pokémon World Champion, right?

Ash: Yeah. My name’s Ash Ketchum from Pallet. And this is Pikachu.

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Rowlf: Please to meet ya. Looking for someone?

Ash: Yeah. Two friends of ours.

Steve Martin the Waiter: Phone call for Ash Ketchum! You Ash Ketchum?

Ash: Yeah. He's me.

Steve Martin the Waiter: Phone.

Ash: Hello? This is Ash. Who's calling?

Giovanni: (phone) It’s been awhile.

Ash: You?!

Giovanni: I simply wanted to hear a friendly voice from the past. Incredible. I bet you want to know where your friends are.

Ash: I do.

Giovanni: King Bowser says that they’re at an abandoned warehouse near the restaurant. Hopper plans to make Kermit his slave and forget Hollywood forever.

Ash: That creep! Why can’t he just leave us alone!

Giovanni: I agree. So, here’s what you need to do. You and your Pokémon step outside. The Matori Matrix will meet you there.

Ash: Alright. But no tricks.

Giovanni: No worries. Bowser’s orders you know. (Hangs up)

Rowlf: Old enemy, huh?

Ash: Yeah. Listen, Pikachu and I have to rescue our friends and when we get back, you want to come to Hollywood with us?

Rowlf: Sure, kid. But, be careful.

(Ash and Pikachu head out as the Matori Matrix spot him)

Ash: (sees Matori) You.

Matori: Good to see you, kid. Been a long time.

== Ash rescues Kermit and Miss Piggy ==
(at the warehouse)

* Doc Hopper: (chuckles) Good, Glen. That's good. Nice and tight.
* Max: The professor's here, Doc.
* Doc Hopper: Show him in. Show him in.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, I'm not a bit worried. I know you're planning something bold and clever.
* Kermit: Well, I got us this far, didn't I?

(outside)

* Matori: Quickly. This way.
* Ash: (looks through) There they are.
* Matori: Shh. Quiet.
* Ash: Sorry.
* Pikachu: (points) Pika, Pika.
* Professor Krassman: (laughs) How are you?
* Doc Hopper: Professor Krassman.
* Professor Krassman: It's good to see you, Doc, you little rustic devil, you. Where's my victim? I mean, patient.
* Doc Hopper: Step this way, Professor.
* Professor Krassman: Of course.
* Ash: Who's that?
* Matori: That's Prof. Krassman. He's one of the escaped scientists who created your friend, Mewtwo.
* Doc Hopper: Let me introduce you to your patient. (to Kermit) Prof. Krassman is the world's leading authority... on mind control in frogs.
* Professor Krassman: It's a very rapidly growing field. You like garlic, don't you?
* Doc Hopper: Tell us what you're gonna do to our little Kermit.
* Professor Krassman: Well, we're going to perform an electronic <nowiki>''</nowiki>cerebrectomy.<nowiki>''</nowiki>
* Doc Hopper: A what?
* Professor Krassman: An electronic cerebrectomy!
* Doc Hopper: What's that?
* Professor Krassman: It's something so sensational that you'll have to hold on to your hat.
* Doc Hopper: Yes?
* Professor Krassman: When a German scientist says...<nowiki>''</nowiki> Hold on to your hat,<nowiki>''</nowiki> it's not casual conversation. Hold on to your hat! Hat, hold! Good! Now, what we're going to do is bring out a machine that's going to wow you. Bertram, Bertram, bring out the machine! Wait till you see this. You think we're sleeping in Dusseldorf? You think we're taking a nap in Cologne? No, we're working at night. Each night, a new dial, a new knob, a diode.
* Doc Hopper: Electronic ce--
* Professor Krassman: Cerebrectomy. Electronic cerebrectomy.
* Doc Hopper: What does it do?
* Professor Krassman: What does it do? It turns the brains into guacamole. 
* Kermit: First of all, I'll pull out of this, okay?
* Miss Piggy: Wonderful. Second?
* Professor Krassman: Halt! I detest the surfeit of provincial laughter. Now, we take your friend, the little <nowiki>''</nowiki> F-O-R-G<nowiki>''</nowiki>...put him in the chair,clamp on the terminals...drop the electronic yarmulke...and throw, what we call in German, the switch. Yes, you little green devil...soon it'll be a hot time at the old skull tonight. Thank you, Herr Machine. Now, the frog will do your bidding. He will do your every whim, He will do your television commercial, yes. He will sell your frogs' legs.
* Doc Hopper: Zaparooni.
* Professor Krassman: Head full of jelly.
* Doc Hopper: A noggin full of library paste! 
* Professor Krassman: Let's fry them brains!
* Doc Hopper: You've got a fun job.
* Professor Krassman: I love it, I love it. If I could inflict a little pain during the afternoon, I sleep good at night.
* Doc Hopper: We'll let you get on with it, then.
* Professor Krassman: My pleasure.
* Doc Hopper: Max. I'll be back later to pick up what's left of the frog.
* Professor Krassman: <nowiki>''</nowiki>What's left of the frog.<nowiki>''</nowiki> You can have everything, excuse the brain.
* Ash: We gotta do something.
* Matori: Don't worry, I got a plan.

(guns surround the trio)

* Ash: Does it involve not getting captured?

(back at the warehouse)

* Doc Hopper: Your loyalty is moving. Sadly, you won't be. Max. (to Professor Krassman) When you're done with the frog, do the same with the kid.
* Professor Krassman: My pleasure. You can have everything, excuse the brain. All right. Bring over the frog.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, whatever happens next...I wouldn't give up this evening together for anything. Would you?
* Kermit: Make me an offer.
* Professor Krassman: Okay, I got him. I got him. Good, good. And why don't we take a little seat, Kermit? Hold his hands down. Get your feeties in place. Will you stop whimpering? Go out like a frog, not a little toad. Okay, Herr Machine, this is big time here. Ready to go to work? Hand clamps! Foot clamps! You can struggle all you want now, frog. It'll do you very little good. All right. And now it's time to drop... the electronic beanie. Soon there'll be enough voltage coursing through your little frog brain...to light up Cincinnati. Here we go.
* Miss Piggy: Oh, please! Not my frog, please!
* Ash: Let him go, you creep!
* Professor Krassman: Say good-bye to the frog, kid.
* Ash: Why should I?
* Professor Krassman: Because in ten seconds, he won't know you from kosher bacon. Same goes for you, Mr. Ex-World Champion.
* Pikachu: (shocked) Pika!
* Miss Piggy: That does it! (escapes and fights the enemy)
* Professor Krassman: What the heck's goin' on here? A pig that goes bananas? What is this, a luau?
* Ash: Is this part of your plan?
* Matori: A large part.
* Henchmen: Where'd she go?
* Miss Piggy: Oh, boys.
* Henchmen: There she is! Get her!
* Professor Krassman: I must reach the switch. I must! Switch-- I must reach--
* Kermit: Oh, no.
* Ash: Miss Piggy! Kermit!

(Miss Piggy stops Professor Krassman in time)

* Miss Piggy: Now, Kermie.
* Kermit: Thank you.
* Professor Krassman: (gets zapped) Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit. (faints)
* Ash: Phew! That was close.
* Matori: (to the Matori Matrix) Take him to Lord Bowser!

(the Matori Matrix do so)

* Professor Krassman: Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.
* Matori: Good Luck, kid. (leaves)
* Ash: (nods)
* Pikachu: Pikachu.
* Miss Piggy: Well...shall we go now, fellas?

(phone rings)

* Kermit: Well--just a second. Hello? Piggy, it's your agent.
* Miss Piggy: Thank you. Yeah, Morty. What have you got? Commercial? How much? When? Take it. (to the trio) Umm....Good-bye!
* Ash Ketchum: Women. Let's go, Pikachu.
* Pikachu: Pika!

== Intermission/America ==
(suddenly the camera goes wonky, everyone is confused)

* Mewtwo: What happened?
* Swedish Chef: [gibberish] Flip, flip, flip, flip.
* C-3PO: Sorry, Master Mewtwo. The Chef says the camera got wonky and needs to be repaired.
* Animal: Irritated! Irritated!
* Kermit: Don't worry, Animal. Your big scene is coming up.
* Floyd: Yeah, yeah. Just be cool and eat another seat cushion.
* Animal: Seat cushion! (bites seat)
* Stantler: Well, how do you like the film?
* Waldorf: I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this.

(both laugh)

* Aisling: Don't you two have to be critics somewhere else?
* Stantler: Not until 4.
* Waldorf: That's the same thing the sea star says.

(both laugh)

* Robin: I don't care what anybody else says. I'm having a great time.
* Kermit: Oh, good.
* Swedish Chef: The "flim" is okey-dokey.
* Mewtwo: Good. Roll film.
* Swedish Chef: "Flim" is "rooling."
* Fozzie: Quiet, quiet.
* Kermit: This is the patriotic part.
* Robin: Should we stand up?
* Kermit: No.

Fozzie: (singing while we see America's landscape toward Mount Rushmore)

Oh, beautiful

for spacious skies

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountains' majesties

Above the fruited plain

America, America

God shed His grace on thee

And crown thy good

with brotherhood

From sea to

Shining sea

(Speaking) Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.

(meanwhile Hopper's goons fire at a cut-out of Kermit held by Max until)

* Doc Hopper: Hold it, boys. Hold it! Hold your fire!

(Hopper's men do so)

* Doc Hopper: Now, boys, no reflection on the job you been doin'...but I decided to bring in a specialist.

(someone comes out of the car)

* Doc Hopper: Now, boys, this is Snake Walker. Tell 'em what you do, Snake.
* Snake Walker: Kill frogs. (fires a perfect shot at the cutout)
* Doc Hopper: Now, boys, there's one more thing. To make sure the kid does what I say, I decided to bring in an offer.

(Team Rocket brings in a familiar woman all tied up)

* Doc Hopper: Now, boys, this is Delia Ketchum. The kid's mother. If the kid refuses my offer to be my heir. I'm gonna force marry this lovely young lady and adopt an heir. And the kid...
* Snake Walker: (fires another perfect shot at the cutout)

(meanwhile unknown to Hopper, the Psycho Rangers are listening in)

* Psycho Pink: Did you hear that?
* Psycho Blue: I can't believe it!
* Psycho Red: That Hopper! I'll destroy him for this.
* Psycho Yellow: But Lord Bowser ordered us not to act without his command.
* Psycho Black: You obsession with Hopper could gets us all vaporized.
* Psycho Red: I'm tired of Hopper and his schemes.
* Psycho Black: It's not our choice.
* Psycho Red: I've had it! I'll bring Hopper's head to Bowser if it's the last thing I do!
* Psycho Blue: What are you saying?
* Psycho Pink: Kill Hopper?
* Psycho Black: You're out of control!
* Psycho Yellow: Listen to yourself!
* Psycho Red: Silence! Hopper has disobeyed Lord Bowser one too many times! If we wait for him, I may never get this opportunity again. Now it's my turn to call the shots.
* Bowser: (OS) No!
* Psycho Blue: Lord Bowser!
* Bowser: Stop him, yes.
* Mistress 9: But don't destroy him. We want him prisoner and out of business.
* Psycho Yellow: But that maybe more difficult with his men of killers.
* Psychos Red and Black: Yes.
* Mistress 9: True, Psycho Yellow. But, we have the advantage.
* Bowser: Indeed. Now, you want to help Ash and Kermit get to Hollywood?
* Psycho Black: More than anything.
* Mistress 9: Then, listen closely.

== Picking up Miss Piggy/Stranded ==

* Fozzie Bear: How long is it to Hollywood?
* Mewtwo: We must get there by tomorrow.
* Mako: Say, Ash. You and Kermit are gonna get an agent like Miss Piggy?
* Elsa: Now, Mako. You know Kermit’s touchy about that.
* Ash: Hey, look.
* Rowlf: What’s that?
* Fozzie: Oh, no.
* Kermit: I don’t believe that. Piggy?
* Miss Piggy: Kermit!
* Kermit: That’s Piggy.
* Korra: We know.
* Aisling: Don’t ya think we should help her with that?

(everyone disapproves)

* Miss Piggy:  Oh, Kermie! What an unbelievable coincidence! (Gets in) Hello again. It's me! Would you hold my vanity case? (Throws bags) Well.
* Kermit: Well what?
* Miss Piggy: So much has happened to me since I saw you last.
* Misty: Frankly, Miss Piggy, we don't give a darn.
* Rowlf: My name is Rowlf the Dog, and I was playin' the piano in a-- Oh, never mind.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie.
* Kermit: Yeah.
* Miss Piggy: I missed you. Don't I get one kissy-kissy?
* Kermit: I don't think so, Miss Piggy.
* Miss Piggy: Oh, just one little hug?
* Doc Hopper: You've been listening to music to hug frogs by... and this is Doc Hopper sayin' that if Kermit the Frog... don't stop right now and call me... and agree to be my national spokesman, he will soon be a frogburger. And if the self-proclaimed World Champion Ash Ketchum don't stop right now and call me... and agree to be my heir and give up on his stupid dream, he will soon be kicking the bucket!
* Mewtwo: Hopper!
* Alpha 5: Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi!
* Ninjor: Oh, that-that rapscallion!
* Miss Piggy: Kermie!
* Kermit: We'll be okay.
* Miss Piggy: Oh, mon capitaine.

(car starts stalling)

* Fozzie: Oh, boy. Yeah. What? No problem! It's okay, it's okay. No problem. Hey, all right! (Car breaks down) We're in trouble. I wish I still had my Studebaker.
* Kermit: There's probably somethin' broken about the engine.
* Gonzo: Hey, don't worry. Someone's bound to come along.
* Kermit: Yeah?

== I'm going to back there someday/Ash and Pikachu comfort Kermit ==
(time passes until it is nighttime) 

* Kimberly: Well, I guess we blew it, huh, Gonzo?
* Gonzo: Yeah. But the sky sure is beautiful out here. Look at that.
* Fozzie: We're gonna miss the auditions tomorrow, right?
* Miss Piggy: Kermit?
* Gonzo: Boy, you could get lost in a sky like that. I wish I had those balloons again.
* Ash: So much for Hollywood.
* Pikachu: (sadly) Pika.
* Kermit: Listen, gang. I never promised we'd make it. I never promised anything.
* Zordon: No. I will not accept that, Rebels. Remember, we came this far to fulfill our dreams and I will not give up now. Because if we do, Hopper will win.
* Ash Ketchum: (realizes something) I agree. Don't give up until it's over.

(Rowlf plays the harmonica while Fozzie joins in on guitar)

Gonzo: (sings)  This looks familiar

Vaguely familiar

Almost unreal, yet

It's too soon to feel yet

Close to my soul

And yet so far away

I'm going to go

back there someday

Sun rises, night falls

Sometimes the sky calls

Is that a song there

And do I belong there

I've never been there

But I know the way

I'm going to go back there

Someday

Come and go with me

It's more fun to share

We'll both be completely

At home in midair

We're flyin', not walking

On featherless wings

We can hold on to young

Like invisible string

There's not a word yet

For old friends who've just met

Part heaven, part space

Or have I found my place

You can just visit

But I plan to stay

I'm going to go back there

Someday

I'm going to go back there

Someday

(while Gonzo sings Kermit leaves the gang)

* Kermit: I didn't promise anybody anything. What do I know about Hollywood anyway? Just the dreams I got from sitting through too many double features.
* Kermit’s conscience: So why did you leave the swamp in the first place?
* Kermit: 'Cause some agent fella said I had talent. He probably says that to everybody.
* Kermit’s conscience: On the other hand, if you hadn't left the swamp... you'd be feeling pretty miserable anyhow.
* Kermit: Yeah, but then it would just be me feelin' miserable.Now I got a lady pig and a bear and a chicken... a dog, three Pokémon trainers, Angel Grove’s greatest taskforce, a team from another dimension, 8 chosen kids and their Digimon, a thing whatever Gonzo is. He's a little like a turkey.
* Kermit’s conscience: Yeah, A little like a turkey. But not much.
* Kermit: No, I guess not. Anyhow, I brought 'em all out here into the middle of nowhere. It's all my fault.
* Kermit’s conscience: Still... whether you promised them something or not... you gotta remember they wanted to come.
* Kermit: But that's because they believed in me.
* Kermit’s conscience: No, they believed in the dream.
* Kermit: Well, so do I, but--
* Kermit’s conscience: You do?
* Kermit: Yeah. Of course I do.
* Kermit’s conscience: Well, then?
* Kermit: Well, then... I guess I was wrong when I said I never promised anyone. I promised me.
* Ash Ketchum: Hey, Kermit.
* Pikachu: Pika, Pika.
* Kermit: Hey, Ash. Sorry about earlier. Guess I was just feeling a little down about our dreams.
* Ash Ketchum: After hearing about our dreams, I started thinking about my Dad.
* Kermit: Your Dad? How?
* Ash Ketchum: When I was little, I told some other kids about my goal and they laughed at me. But my Dad told me something I never forgot: "The Map to your Goal is inside yourself. If you give up, your dreams never gonna come true." Now being on my journey with my friends from Kanto to Galar, and going on adventures with Pikachu, Misty, and Brock to other worlds, I'm starting to get what he meant.
* Kermit: Well, then... I guess you were right about what you said. Don't give up until it's over.

(Music is heard, Kermit recognizes it)
* Kermit: Hey, now, wait a minute.

(The Electric Mayhem is seen with Rowlf and Fozzie playing) 

* Ash: Hey, what's happening?
* Floyd: At the moment, we're what's happening.
* Dr. Teeth: Oh, great! Wonderful! Yeah! Zoot! Hey, Zoot! Hold it, hold it. Animal, cool it back there. Yeah. All right, yeah.
* Kermit: Hey, it's wonderful to see you,
* Elsa: But how did you find us?
* Dr. Teeth: Oh, easy. We just read the screenplay you left us. <nowiki>''</nowiki>Exterior desert, night.<nowiki>''</nowiki> We knew right where you were.
* Janice: Like, can you get behind it?
* Floyd: Hey, when you dudes have to be at that audition?
* Mewtwo: 2''':'''00 tomorrow afternoon.
* Dr. Teeth: Well, climb aboard the bus. We'll have breakfast at Hollywood and Vine.

(the next day, everyone is on the bus)

* Everyone: Movin' right along
* Floyd: Oh, yeah.
* Dr. Teeth: Here we go.
* Everyone: Movin' right along
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, whisper sweet nothings into my ear.
* Kermit: Motorcycle cop.
* Miss Piggy: '’Motorcycle cop<nowiki>''</nowiki> is a sweet nothing?
* Kermit: A motorcycle cop is chasing us.
* Ash: Dr. Teeth, you better pull over.
* Dr. Teeth: Hey, easier done than said.
* Janice: Drag city.
* Kermit; What do we do now?
* Miss Piggy: Oh, dear.
* Dr. Teeth: Hey, hey. The man with the badge. The police. The cops, the fuzz, the P-I--
* Miss Piggy: Don't you dare.
* Dr. Teeth: I wouldn't think of it.
* Kermit: Did we do something wrong, Officer?
* Bowser: (removes visor) Not quite.
* Miss Piggy: Kermie, it's them!
* Kermit: Okay, gang. Let him explain.
* Max: This whole disguise is only so we could warn you.
* Everyone: Yeah. Sure, sure.
* Bowser: QUIET! Now listen. We never thought Doc would hurt Kermit. We thought he was gonna lean on him. 
* Max: But now he's got this frog killer in from the coast...and the man is deadly! 
* Bowser: And the Psychos overheard that Hopper has kidnapped Ash’s mother and said that if the kid doesn’t give up his dream and become his heir, he's gonna kill him and force Ash’s mother to marry him and adopt an heir.
* Everyone: Oh, no. Kermit, what are we gonna do?
* Floyd: It's time to beat feet, green stuff.
* Dr. Teeth: I love it. Chase music is one of our best riffs.
* Good Fairy: Ash, this is your adventure. What should we do?
* Ash: Dr. Teeth, what's up ahead?
* Dr. Teeth: It's only an old ghost town.
* Ash: Fine. Listen, you go tell Doc Hopper we’ll be waiting for him there.
* Bowser: Say what!?
* Max: What?
* Fozzie: Ash, you'll get killed!
* Kermit: Listen, guys. Listen. Ash is right. We can't spend our whole lives running away from a bully. It's time for a showdown.
(our heroes arrive at the Ghost Town)
* Animal: Showdown, Showdown.
(the Bus stops as Ash, Pikachu, and Kermit get off)

* Kermit: Hey, listen. We're gonna check things out. Everybody stay on the bus, okay?
* Joanna: (growls)
* Aisling: Hey, Kermit?
* Kermit: Yeah?
* Aisling: Can I take Joanna for a walk? She needs some exercise.
* Kermit: Yeah, sure.

(Ash, Pikachu, and Kermit approach an old tavern, a rain barrel surprises them)

* Ash: What is that?
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: That's one of my latest inventions: a musical rotating rain barrel.
* Kermit: Oh, yeah.
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: You see...I'm Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and this is my assistant, Beaker.
* Beaker: (meeps)
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: We live here, perfecting useful inventions. Come in, come in.
* Beaker: (meeps)

(Ash, Pikachu, and Kermit enter)

* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Welcome to our laboratory. Please don't touch anything.
* Ash: Is this the only street into town?
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Yes, yes.

(Aisling, Joanna, Floyd, and Animal enter)

* Aisling: Hey, what are you guys doin' in here?
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: I'm so glad you asked! We're perfecting our latest invention: insta-grow pills.
* Floyd: Well, what in the name of Fats Waller is that?
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: A four-foot prune!
* Floyd: A four-foot prune.
* Aisling: (as Joanna grabs the jar) Yeah. Well, what else do these pills make big?
* Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: They work on anything. But the effect is sadly, temporary.
* Beaker: Sadly temporary.

== Standing up to Doc Hopper ==
(cars approach into town)

* Scooter: Oh, no!
* Alpha 5: Ay-yi-yi! Ash, Kermit! Here comes Doc Hopper!
* Misty: And Hopper's got your mom!
* Ash: I know. We'll be ready for him.
* Doc Hopper: Okay, kid. Where are ya?
* Ash: We're here. We'll meet you in the middle of the street.
* Doc Hopper: Oh, yeah?
* Kermit: Man to heroes.

(clock strikes 12:00 as Ash, Pikachu, and Kermit head toward Hopper)

* Kermit: All right, Hopper.
* Doc Hopper: All right, frog. 
* Ash: Where's my mother?
* Doc Hopper: Max!
(Max brings Delia)
* Delia: Ash, help!
* Ash: Mom!
* Doc Hopper: First things first. (to Kermit) One last chance. You can do my TV commercials live or stuffed. (to Ash) And you, kid. One last chance. You gonna give up your silly dream and be my heir? Or kiss your Mommy good-bye.

(gang chucks up their guns)

* Kermit: Hopper, what's the matter with you? You gotta be crazy chasin' me halfway across the country. Why are you doin' this to us?
* Pikachu: Pikachu!
* Doc Hopper: 'Cause all my life I wanted to own a thousand frog-leg restaurants and you and the kid are the key, greenie.
* Kermit: Yeah, well, I've got a dream too. But it's about singing and dancing and making people happy.
* Ash: And I have a dream as well. Even though I am quite fond for what I did at the Masters 8 and being world famous, being Champion isn't my goal. The thing is, I still think of myself as a challenger. I want to go on a lot more adventures, meet lots more Pokémon and friends, and take everything I learn every day and put it to good use.
* Pikachu: Pika.
* Ash: Thing is...I want to be friends with all of the Pokémon and everyone in the world. That's what it means to be a Pokémon Master.

(While Ash talks, The New United Alliance of Evil hears this and cry tears of happiness)

* Kermit: Ash is right you know, Hopper. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And, well, Ash and I've found a whole bunch of friends who have the same dream. And it kind of makes us like a family. You have anybody like that, Hopper? Once you get all those restaurants, who're you gonna share it with?
* Ash: Who are your friends, Doc? Those guys?
* Doc Hopper: Max! (Max approaches) I got lots of friends. Max, for instance. Max.
* Ash: We don't think you're a bad man, Doc. I think if you look in your heart, you'll find you really want to let me and my friends go...to follow our dream. But if that's not the kind of man you are, and if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense to you...well, then, go ahead and kill us.

(Doc Hopper brushes his hair and makes up his mind)

* Doc Hopper: Alright, boys. The boy first.

(everyone gasps)

* Delia: Ash, run!
* Max: No wait, please.
* Bowser: Don't you dare!
* Pikachu: (sparks fly from his cheeks) PIKA PIKA!!!
* Ash Ketchum: Pikachu, use thunderbolt!

(Pikachu shocks Doc and his henchmen except Max. The Muppets and Max are amazed upon seeing it.)

* Negaduck: D'oh! We’ll get him, Doc! (grabs chainsaw) Boys!
(The Crime Empire walks closer)
* Harley Quinn: Negaduck, Mr. J, no!
*Poison Ivy: Don’t do this!

(just then a rumbling occurs as two blue claws appear out of a roof to Doc Hopper's horror, then a familiar lizard face appears)

* Aisling: Joanna!

(the heroes gasp in amazement)

* '''Iago:''' Oh, oh! Three, two, one!
* Joanna: (Animal VO, roars)

(Doc Hooper, his gang, and the Crime Empire runs away as Harley, Ivy, and Max waves our heroes good luck)

* Bowser: That's right, run you traitorous cowards!
* Joanna: (laughs)
* Bowser: (to Kamek) Release her.
(Kamek frees Delia)
* Delia: (gets close to Ash)
* Ash: Thanks, Bowser.
* Mewtwo: Yes. We own you a debt of gratitude.
* Zordon: If there's anything you want, just ask.
* Bowser: Well, how about we get you to Hollywood?
* Kermit: On one condition: if we make a movie, you and your team get involved. Deal?
* Bowser: Deal!

(everyone even the New United Alliance of Evil cheers)

* Kermit: Everyone, on to Hollywood!
* Bowser Junior: We know a shortcut. Ready, guys?
* Everyone: Yeah!

== World Wide Studios ==
(we see the Hollywood sign as the bus now with the New United Alliance of Evil inside pass by)

* Gonzo: Wow! Wicked!
* Bowser: (Dr. Teeth VO) Yeah! Next stop is Hollywood and Vine.

(the bus passes the Chinese Theater)

* C-3PO: Look! The Chinese Theater.
* Darth Vader: That brought back some memories.

(the bus passes a beach)

* Fozzie: Look at the ocean! The ocean!

(World Wide Studios)

* Miss Tracey: Yes, Mr. Lord. I'll have those deal memos for you in a jiffy.

(phone rings)

* Miss Tracey: (answers) Mm-hmm? I'm sorry. Mr. Lord can't be disturbed by anyone. He's packaging a blockbuster. (hangs up)

(the gang arrives inside)

* Miss Piggy: Kermie! Look! It's wonderful!
* Misty: Like a dream come true.
* Kermit: Don't count your tadpoles until they're hatched. I still have to audition.
* Floyd: Hey, ain't nothin' to it but to do it.

(the doors slam close)

* Miss Tracey: And where do you think you're going?
* Bowser: What's the big idea!?
* Ash: Hi, there! I'm Ash Ketchum. We're going to audition for Lew Lord.
* Miss Tracey:  You can't just walk in here off the street, you know. Especially not with all these animals.
* Kermit: Animals? What's wrong with animals?
* Miss Tracy: This is a movie studio not a zoo! Besides... (sneezes) I'm allergic to animal hair. So, get along, all of you.

(everyone is about to leave)

* Delia Ketchum: Stop! See here, young lady. My son and his friends have traveled a long way and defeated an evil business man from killing my son and force to marry me just to make their dreams a reality.
* Kermit: She’s right! I may not be one of your fancy Hollywood frogs, but I deserve a chance. We're going to stay here until you let us in to see Lew Lord, aren't we, gang?
* Gang: Yes! Yes! Yeah, come on! We're gonna sit right down and wait.
* Miss Tracy: Yes, Security? Miss Tracy.
* Kermit: Ah-ha! (turns on fan)
* Miss Tracy: I want to report a--
* Miss Piggy: Shake! Shake, everyone!
* Kermit: That's it!
* Gonzo: Look what it's doing!
* Floyd: Go get 'em, man!
* Kermit: Way to go!
* Fozzie: Allergies are nothing to sneeze at.
* Rowlf: I'm allergic to cats, myself.

(Miss Tracy keeps sneezing until she opens the door)

* Lord Zedd: The door is open. Ha-ha!
* Kermit: Okay, way to go, guys! Thanks, miss. (to everyone) Well, friends...this is it.

(the doors open as everyone enters)

* Kermit: Mr. Lord? Forgive the interruption, but I'm here to audition. Yes, yes. We've come over 2,000 miles just--Oh, boy.
* Ash: Don't worry, Kermit.
* Mewtwo: We're with you, my friend.
* Mistress 9: Go get'em, Tiger.
* Kermit: Please, sir, my name is Kermit the Frog,and we read your ad...and, well, we've come to be rich and famous.
* Lew Lord: Miss Tracy...prepare the standard <nowiki>''</nowiki>Rich and Famous<nowiki>''</nowiki> contract...for Kermit the Frog and company.

(everyone celebrates)

== Ending ==

* Kermit: Oh, just look at all this. How did a frog make the big time?

("The Magic Store" plays)

* Kermit: It starts when we're kids (singing) 🎼A show-off at school. Makin' faces at friends. You're a clown and a fool. Doin' pratfalls and bird calls and bad imitations. Ignoring your homework. Now that's dedication. You work to the mirror. You're getting standing ovations🎼
* Fozzie: 🎼You're burning with hope🎼
* The Electric Mayhem, Bowser, Bowser Junior, Mistress 9, Azula, and the Dazzlings: 🎼You're building up steam🎼
* Scooter, Robin, Ash, Misty, Brock, the Power Rangers: 🎼What was once juvenile-ish🎼
* Moonlight Shimmer: 🎼Is grown-up🎼
* Miss Piggy: 🎼and stylish🎼
* Gonzo, Honeydew, Beaker, Rowlf, Mewtwo, The Good Fairy, Aisling, Elsa: 🎼You're close to your dream🎼
* Everyone: 🎼And somebody out there loves you, stands up and hollers for more.🎼
* Alpha 5: More!
* Everyone: 🎼You've found a home at the magic store.🎼
* Kermit: Right, everybody. Production number, okay?
* Bowser: (Dr. Teeth audio) Off the trucks and on the job.
* Animal: On the job!
* Floyd: Hey, whoa, halt, cease, stop.
* Janice: Wow, let's do it.
* Sonata Dusk: Do what?
* Scooter: The movie.
* Fozzie: Yes, sir. A foot stomper.
* Miss Piggy: Makeup.
* Fozzie: Yes, let's do it. Yes.
* Kermit: Hey, Fozzie, take those wagons out of there.
* Fozzie: Yes, sir. I'm off.
* Animal: (laughs)
* Gonzo: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
* Rowlf: Ha-ha.
* Kermit: Scenery over there, right?
* Fozzie: Movin' right along. Hey!
* Bowser Junior: Where do you want these?
* Kermit: Hey, those are the trees for the swamp.
* Dr. Teeth: Mellow and profitable.
* Fozzie: Wacka, wacka.
* Adagio Dazzle: Let's make a scene, girls.
* Aria Blaze: Right-io.
* Kermit: Watch the tree, Rowlf.
* Mario: Careful, Luigi.
*Luigi: Right.
* Moonlight Shimmer: Ow.
* Beaker: Oh-oh.
* Moonlight Shimmer: (giggles) Take it easy.
* Beaker: (meeps)
* Kermit: Moonlight, you look beautiful.
* Moonlight Shimmer: Thanks, Kermit.
* Kermit: Hollywood talk.
* Fozzie: Wa ha ha ha. 
* Rowlf: Uh-huh.
* Fozzie: Wa ha ha ha ha.
* Rowlf: Good.
* Fozzie: Wa ha!
* Misty: How about the lights, Kermit?
* Kermit: The lights. Yeah. Good. 
*Princess Peach: How about the arcs?
*Kermit: Save those arcs.
* Crazy Harry: Ha, ha. Crazy Harry plays with electricity!
* Dr. Eggman: Sound is ready. Give me a level.
* Animal: Testing!
* Dr. Eggman: (screams)
* Animal: (Laughs)
* Rowlf: Rolling. Okay, everybody. Stay in focus, huh?
* Scooter: Okay, "Ash's Adventures of The Muppet Movie," scene 1A, take one. (clamps his fingers) Ow.
* Beaker: Makeup ready.
* Kermit: Uh-huh.
* Floyd: Scenery ready.
* Kermit: Yeah?
* Honeydew: Sound is ready.
* Kermit: Good.
* Rowlf: Camera's rollin'.
* Kermit: Yeah?
* Ash: We're ready, Kermit!
* Kermit: Okay, standby. Here we go.

("The Rainbow Connection" plays)

* Kermit (sings) 🎼Why are there so many songs about rainbows?🎼
* Fozzie: 🎼That's part of what rainbows do🎼
* Gonzo: 🎼Rainbows are memories🎼
* Miss Piggy: 🎼Sweet dream reminders. What is it you'd like to do?🎼
* Ash and His Friends: 🎼All of us watching and wishing we'd find it.🎼
* Kermit: 🎼I've noticed you're watching, too🎼
* Everyone: 🎼Someday you'll find it. The rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and...🎼
* Gonzo: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

(scenery falls apart)

* Bowser: Kermit.
* Pikachu: Pi? Pika!
* Ash: Hey, look!

(a rainbow appears to everyone's amazment)

* Kermit: (singing) 🎼Life's like a movie. Write your own ending.🎼
* Everyone: 🎼Keep believing, keep pretending. We've done just what we've set out to do. Thanks to the lovers. The dreamers. And you.🎼

(titles says "The End" and then....)

* Sweetums: (tears through screen, laughs) I just knew I'd catch up with you guys.

(everyone laughs and then talks as credits roll)

* Animal: Go home! Go home! Bye-bye. (sighs as he falls backwards)
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Scenes]]