Alex Gets Home Alone/transcript

(SCENE: HARRY IS DRESSED IN A POLICE OFFICER'S UNIFORM; McCALLISTER FAMILY IS QUICKLY ENTERING AND EXITING)

HARRY:

Miss. Young lady! Excuse me. Girls! Hey, hey, little guy. Hey! Excuse me, girls. Girls! Hey, big fella! Excuse me. Ma'am, excuse me. Ma'am! Ma'am! Hey, son. Son! Big fella. Hey, hey hey, little guy, little guy!

Help me make the beds in the living room.

Come on down here!

Hey, son!

Big fella. Hey, little guy! Little guy!

Pete's brother and his family are here.

Trish is going to Montreal.

Montreal? Oh, her family's there.

- Then we're off. - When?

- Tomorrow. - You're not ready, are you?

KEVIN:

Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?

KATE:

Kevin, I'm on the phone. (Back on the phone) When do you come back? Not 'til then?

KEVIN:

It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.

KATE:

Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad. No, we put the dog in the kennel for the-- (Kevin gets on the bed and starts reading a magazine) Hey hey hey, get off! Kevin, out of the room.

KEVIN:

Hang up the phone and make me, why don't ya?

KATE:

This kid. (Peter enters)

PETER:

Kate, did you pick up a voltage adaptor thing?

KATE:

No, I didn't have time to do that.

KEVIN:

Then how do I shave in France?

KATE:

Grow a goatee.