A Beautiful Freddy/Transcript

Here's 29th episode for season 2 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's the Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins with our heroes watching a games show)

• Hilly Burford: Hey, folks, get out your brains! It's time to play...
• All: Trivia...Cash...A-Ding-Dong!

(Everyone cheers)

• Winnie the Pooh: I really love this quiz show.
• Goofy: This definitely feels like Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
• Otis: Man this show has everything: humiliation, greed, fabulous prizes, the word ding dong. I love it.
• Lisa: I agree Otis.
• Pig: Not as much as Freddy does.
• Freddy: Zucchini! The Magna Carta! Mudskippers!
• Sci-Twi: Freddy, they haven't asked a question yet.
• Freddy: Danish beaver cheese!
• All: Quiet!
• Freddy: Sorry, you know how much I love trivia.
• Tigger: (Whispers to the others) Even though he doesn't know anything about trivia.
• Sunset Shimmer: I don't think he can even spell trivia.
• Pluto: (snickers)
• Timmy Turner: Quiet down, it's starting.
• Hilly Burford: Ok, finalists, put on your thinking bonnets. What is the chemical symbol for bacon?
• Freddy: Margaret Thatcher! Pilates! The San Diego Chicken! (sits too close to television making everyone mad)
• Lynn: Freddy, move your tiny brained head, we can't see the TV!
• Freddy: Guys, phrase your angry shouts in the form of a question.
• Otis: Why are you so stupid?!?

(Otis throws a boot and the TV goes static)

• Human Rarity: Oh great Otis. You broke the TV.
• Pip: Oh man. Now we'll never get to see who wins Million Dollar Ding Dong.
• Otis: Don't worry. I'll fixed it. Freddy, go on the roof and wiggle the antenna around.
• Freddy: I'm on it.
• Rabbit: Are you sure that's a good idea? The weather calls for lightning appearing when you least expect it.
• Tigger: Don't be ridiculous. He'll be alright.
• Lana: And besides, it's Freddy. What could happen?

(On the roof)

• Freddy: Careful. Watch it. Easy. Made it. (get electrocuted and falls off the roof)
• Spike the Dog: What was that?
• Pip: Freddy fell off the roof! (sees the TV's on) Hey the show's back.
• Rabbit: Told you.

(Everyone runs outside to check on Freddy)

• Winnie the Pooh: Are you quite alright Freddy?
• Freddy: (in a well-spoken voice) Well, Pooh Bear, the distance from the roof equals the velocity of the rate of descent times pi, so, yes, I'm in a lot of pain.
• Cosmo: Did anybody get that?
• Eeyore: No clue.
• Donald Duck: Not a single word.
• Pig: Hey, he's talking like a fancy boy.
• Human Fluttershy: And in a charming British accent.
• Abby: Yeah, his words are HUGE.
• Lincoln: But how did he figure all that out by being struck by lightning?
• Freddy: It's odd really, my dear Lincoln. The chances of a lightning strike was 7,400 to 1 with a euro margin plus or minus 5.3.
• Pip: Who are you and what have you done with Freddy!?!
• Otis: Wait a minute. Freddy, what's the capital of outer Mongolia?
• Freddy: Ulaanbaatar, of course.
• Abby: (checks the globe and gasps) He's right.
• Otis: What's the square of 680,000?
• Freddy: 824, duh.
• Peck: (checks abacus) He's right again.
• Otis: (brings out a puzzle box) Quick, solve this incredible complicated--(Freddy finishes it) Ok then.
• Lisa: (brings out her equation) Solve this equation by finding the error that I couldn't figure out.
• Freddy: Easy, you multiplied your "Z" polynomials before solving your non-negative integer exponents. It's quite simple.
• Lisa: (looks and gasps in horror)
• Luna: Whoa, he just outsmarted Lisa, bro. What's going on here?
• Pig: Isn't it obvious? Freddy's getting hit by lightning made us all dumb. (sticks a pickle up his nose)
• Cosmo: Ooh, clever.
• Rabbit: (groans)
• Otis: Or made him a genius.
• Pig: I don't follow.
• Freddy: Hmm, frankly, I'm skeptical, from the skeptos, meaning "Doubtful."
• Mickey Mouse: Now it's getting scary.
• Human Rarity: I know.
• Peck: I'm frightened.
• Pig: He's a witch! (The pickle comes out of his nose) Hoo.
• Otis: No guys. He's not a witch. This is a good thing.
• Cosmo: That's what the last witch said when he was catapulted into the lake.
• Timmy Turner: That was me!
• Cosmo: Right.
• Otis: What I mean, Cosmo is with Freddy's smarts he can go on Trivia Cash A-Ding-Dong and win The Million Dollar Ding Dong.

(Everyone cheers)

• Sora: I like that idea.
• Human Pinkie Pie: Me too.
• Peck: Wait, guys. Why do we need a million dollars? We have everything we want

(Everyone rethinks it over)

• Freddy: Wait. This is my chance to finally do something for you guys.
• Wanda: Oh yeah. Like what?
• Freddy: I could win us a new nest egg for our old age. Or solar panels to make the barn fuel efficient.

(Everyone stood quiet)

• Freddy: We could also buy a hot tub.
• Sunset Shimmer: You should have led with that.
• Tigger: Well, what are we standing around here for? Let's go win Trivia Cash A-Ding-Dong!

(Everyone cheers)

The Middle

(At the stage of Trivia Cash A-Ding-Dong)

• Hilly Burford: Get out your brains. It's time to play....
• All: Trivia Cash A-Ding-Dong!
• Abby: Otis, do you really think Freddy has a chance to win the million?
• Otis: With his new lightning-induced thing-Knowing Ability? I don't know.
• Piglet: Let's hope so.
• Cosmo: Relax Piglet. He'll win this no doubt.
• Lola: And if he doesn't, we'll just shun him for the rest of his life.
• Sci-Twi: No we won't.
• Lola: You might not.
• Mickey Mouse: You can do this, Freddy!
• Pluto: (barks)
• Hilly Burford: Let's meet today's contestants. He's a paralegal and part-time hand model. Say hi to Freddy Not-A-Ferret.
• Freddy: Let's hope my perspicacity matches my grandiloquence.
• Hilly Burford: Hey, those words are HUGE. Next up, a manicurist who lives with 28 cats. Let's meet Phyllis Terwillger.
• Phyllis Terwilleger: Hi, Whiskers. (her cat attacks Hilly's hair)
• Hilly Burford: And finally, legendary behemoth and model trade lover. So hello to Bigfoot.
• Bigfoot: (roars in excitement)
• Spike the dog: This is going to be tough round to complete.
• Otis: I think you're right, Spike. Because Bigfoot really knows his state capitals.
• Hilly Burford: Hey, let's play some Ding-dong. In what year did Vasco De Gama--
• Freddy: 1562.
• Hilly Burford: Hey, he's right. Next Question. What country Imports--
• Freddy: Argentina.
• Hilly Burford: Right again.
• Goofy: Keep it up Freddy. You're on a roll.
• Hilly Burford: What film--
• Freddy:
• Hilly Burford: Who--
• Freddy: Beethoven.
• Hilly Burford: What--
• Freddy: Athlete's Foot.
• Hilly Burford: Where--
• Freddy: The Renaissance.

(Bigfoot growls angrily and the cat freaks out)

• Hilly Burford: Hey, you starting to freak me out. We got a live one folks.

(Everyone starts cheering)

• Hilly Burford: Ok contestants, it's time for The Ding Wordy Word Challenge.

(A blank 6 word puzzle appears on the screen)

• Wanda: We're almost there.
• Otis: If Freddy win this round, he moves on to Million Dollar Ding Dong.
• Pig: Go, Fancy Boy, go!
• Sora: Win us that Ding Dong!
• Hilly Burford: You have 30 seconds to solve this puzzle using these letters.

(2 L's appears on the screen)

• Hilly Burford: And....puzzle!
• Freddy: The answer is...(suddenly his phone rang) Oh, excuse me one second. (answers) Hello? Yes I would like to change my long distance service.
• Lori: What he doing?
• Otis: Sweet cud, those guys always call at the wrong time.
• Donald: If he doesn't answer the question, he lose.
• Abby: The puzzle, Freddy. Solve the puzzle.
• Hilly Burford: Anybody else?
• Phyllis Terwillger: Is it bundt cake?
• Hilly Burford: Wow, that is a terrible guess.
• Bigfoot: (roars the answer)
• Hilly Burford: Oooh, so close, but wrong. 3 seconds.
• Spike the dog: Come on Freddy.
• Freddy: Well, you have a nice day too. Ta. (hangs up) I like to solve the puzzle. New York meets Base-Stealing Sensation Mookie Wilson.

(The answer was right)

• Hilly Burford: You're going to Million Dollar Ding-Dong!

(Everyone cheers for Freddy, but Phyllis' cat spazzes out and Bigfoot wrecks the stage leaving in anger)

• Hilly Burford: Well we're out of time. But join us tomorrow if Freddy Not-a-Ferret play for 1 million smack-a-ronis. (Cat attacks Hilly's hair again)

(The crowd chants Freddy's name)

(Later that night, Otis is making a toast)

• Otis: To Freddy, the smartest guy we know.

(Everyone cheers)

• Freddy: Thanks ever so. It's just so nice to do something for you guys. (makes a goofy face) Hey, I should use my big brain to fixed the TV.
• Lana: Knock yourself out, Freddy.
• Otis: This is great. It's like having a whole new Freddy.
• Abby: Yeah, his brain is huuuuuuuuuggggee!
• Pooh: You said it.
• Timmy: And the best part, he can't possibly screw anything up anymore.
• Freddy: Well, I'm done. (brings in a wooden TV)
• Sci-Twi: Uh, Freddy, what exactly did you use to fix the TV?
• Freddy: Mud, loose planks, but the secret ingredient was Palenta.
• Rabbit: That's not how you fixed a TV.
• Peck: Freddy, only a moron would fixed a TV with Palenta.
• Freddy: Oh your right. I should have used tapioca.
• Otis: This looks bad.
• Eeyore: To make a long story short, uh oh.
• Abby: Oh no, he's dumb again.
• Freddy: What? No, I'm not. 2 plus 2 is fish. German is an attractive language. Oh no, I am stupid.

(Everyone freaks out)

• Freddy: Otis, you have to fix me. I need to get zapped again.
• Otis: Freddy, no, it's too dangerous!
• Freddy: I don't care. I refused to let you guys down.
• Abby: Freddy we don't care if you win or not. You're our friend.
• Freddy: A friend who hasn't won a million dollar ding dong
• Pip: You know there's one more thing we could try. Electric zappy thing charged and ready
• Otis: Freddy, are you sure about this?
• Freddy: I know what I'm doing. Shock me Otis. (Freddy gets shocked) A dodecahderon has 12 sides. Australopithecus was the first hominid. Huzzah, I'm smart again.
• Pip: Yeah, but for how long?
• Freddy: Don't worry Otis. I'll win that million or my name in anagram form isn't ().

The Ending

• Narrator: The next day...
• Freddy: Remember, Otis, if I get dumb again, just shock me. The wires are cunningly hidden under this top hat.
• Otis: I don't know Freddy. I'm having seconds thoughts about this.
• Freddy: (chuckles) You probably even have to. I'm smarter than ever. Alpha Centauri is 4.3 light years from Earth.
• Pig: That's our fancy boy.
• Hilly Burford: Ok, let's bring out yesterday's big winner: Freddy Not-a-Ferret. Ok, how ya been, little guy? Are you ready to play Million Dollar Ding Dong?
• Freddy: I'm sure am, Hilly.
• Hilly Burford: Well, all righty. Let's play some Ding Dong! Ok, let's start off with a easy one: Who is the author of Shakespeare's Sonnet?
• Freddy: (makes a goofy face) Phil Pleshevsky. No wait, Denise Doodlemire. Uh? Uh?
• Pip: He's dumb again. Shock him, Otis!
• Otis: Sorry, Freddy. (shocks Freddy)
• Freddy: (chuckles) Did I say, Phil Pleshevsky? I meant William Shakespeare, the Bard of Avon, 1564 to 1616
• Hilly Burford: Correct! Next question: How many pickles are in a 16 ounce pickle jar?
• Freddy: (makes the goofy face) It's...oh...could you repeat the question?
• Otis: It's wearing off faster and faster.
• Pip: I'll boost the power. (turns it up to lighting) Now zap him!
• Otis: Ok, but this is the last time. (Shocks Freddy)
• Freddy: 27 pickles. 29 if they're gherkins.
• Hilly Burford: Hey, bingo! You're one answer away from a million dollars. For all the potatoes: Who won last year's award for Best Actress in a Circus Movie?
• Freddy: (makes the goofy face) Uh the answer is on the tip of my tongue. Uh, it will zap me in a moment. I said, it will "zap" me!
• Pip: He needs one more jolt. I'll boost the power.
• Abby: Otis, it says never go that high. We could fry his brain permanently.
• Otis: Permanently?!?! That's almost forever. I won't risk it.
• Freddy: Uh, Hilly, I like to phone a friend
• Hilly Burford: Well, that is a different show. But, I don't see why not.
• Freddy: Alright, let me just get my lucky phone. Otis, you have to zap me.
• Otis: I can't Freddy. It's too dangerous. Let's just go home.
• Freddy: No, I won't let you guys down. I need more power (boosts to crossbones)
• Otis: Freddy, no!
• Freddy: (shocks himself too much, he wakes up flying above the clouds) What's happening? Did I win?
• Man: Not yet, Freddy.
• Freddy: (gasps) Alan Einstein?
• Albert Einstein: It's Albert, actually. But that's not important. Now, I'm hear to tell you that your friends don't care if your smart. They love you just the way you are.
• Freddy: They do?
• Albert Einstein: Of course. Oh and FYI, the answer to the question is Cameron Diaz.
• Freddy: Thanks Eisenstein. Bye.
• Hilly Burford: Hey, little guy. You all right? This usually works when you smacks somebody in the face a bit. (slaps Freddy a few times)
• Freddy: The answer is Cameron Diaz.
• Hilly Burford: Is that your final Ding Dong?
• Freddy: Yes it is?
• Hilly Burford: Well...that's wrong! You lose!
• All: Awwww!
• Freddy: Curse you, Alan Eisenstein! You know nothing about popular culture!
• Albert Eisenstein: Meh.

(Later that night)

• Otis: See Freddy, this isn't so bad. We can still play the home version of Trivia Cash Ding Dong.
• Peck: Your turn, Freddy. Name the capital of Bulgaria.
• Freddy: Uh, Morgan Freeman?

(Everyone laughs as Einstein as Tinkerbell fades the scene to black)

The End.