Editing Winnie the Pooh Gets Home Alone/Transcript (section)

== Kevin's fight with Buzz/Kevin gets punished ==
(We cut to the pizza boy driving to the McCallister house He hits the statue and gets out of the car and picks it up. We cut back inside where Fuller and Brooke are staring at Harry)

Harry: How you kids doing' huh? Good? Lot of action around here today, huh? Goin' on vacation? Where you goin'? Do you hear me or what? Goin' on a trip? Where you goin' kid?

(Harry hears a knock on the door and opens it as the pizza boy enters)

Pizza Boy: Okay, that's $122.50.

Harry: Not for me, kid. I don't live here.

Pizza Boy: Oh. You just around for the holidays?

Harry: I guess you could say that.

Uncle Frank: (comes down the stairs) Hey, the pizza's here!

Pizza Boy: (gives him the pizzas) Here you go. That's $122.50.

Uncle Frank: Oh, it's my brother's house. He'll take care of it. 

Aunt Leslie: Hey, kids, come on..

(All kids go into the kitchen)

Harry: Hey, listen, uh-- 

Aunt Leslie: Frank, remember to use the red plastic plates.

(Peter comes down the stairs)

Peter McCallister: Hi.

Harry: Hi. Are you Mr. McCallister?

Peter McCallister: Yeah.

Harry: The Mr. McCallister who lives here?

Peter McCallister: Yes.

Pizza Boy: Oh, good, cause somebody owes me $122.50.

Harry: I'd like a word with you, sir.

Peter McCallister: Am I under arrest or something?

Harry: No, no, no, no. It's Christmas time. There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. So, we're just checking the neighborhood to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions, that's all.

Peter McCallister: Oh, yeah. Well, we have automatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors. That's about as well as anybody can do these days. Right? Did you get some eggnog or something like that? 

Buzz McCallister: Come on, Dad. Let's eat. 

Peter McCallister: Come on.

(Buzz and Peter go to the kitchen)

Harry: Eggnog? 

Kevin McCallister: (comes down the stairs) Pizza! Pizza!

Harry: Listen, are you gonna to be leaving, uh--

Kevin McCallister: Pizza!

(In the kitchen)

Aunt Leslie: Grab yourself a napkin, and you're gonna have to pour your own drinks.

Brooke McCallister: Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?

Fuller McCallister: What time do we have to go to bed?

Uncle Frank: Early. We're leaving the house at 8:00 a.m. on the button.

Kate McCallister: I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. (sees Megan throwing something in the trash can) Hey! Don't you dare.

Peter McCallister: Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip.

Kate McCallister: For pizza?

Peter McCallister: Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.

Aunt Leslie: Frank, you've got some money, don't you? Come on.

Uncle Frank: Traveler's checks.

Kate McCallister: Forget it, Frank. We have cash.

(Buzz was stuffing his face with a pizza)

Peter McAllister: You probably got the checks that don't work in France.

Uncle Frank: What are tose?

Kevin McCallister: Did anyone order me a plain cheese?

Buzz McCallister: Oh, yeah, we did, but if you want any... somebody's gonna have to barf it all up, 'cause it's gone.

Aunt Leslie: Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.

(Fuller drinks a can of Pepsi and smiles at Kevin. Kevin looks furious at Buzz)

Buzz McCallister: Kev! Kevin, get a plate. (mock retching) 

(Buzz chokes on the cheese and barfs. Kevin roars, tackling Buzz and knocking over the milk on the passports)

Everyone: (gasps, clamoring) 

Fuller McCallister: Wow! (gets out of his chair) 

Peter McCallister: The passports! (gets up and spills Pepsi) 

Uncle Frank: Watch it! 

(Frank's chair is pulled out and hits Fuller)

Fuller McCallister: (muffled shout)

(People start to clean up kitchen table quickly)

Uncle Frank: Help me out here! 

Peter McCallister: No, no. Let's get these passports out of here. 

Kate McCallister: Kevin, get off of him!

Kevin McCallister: You moron!

(Peter throws away a bunch of napkins, along with Kevin's airline ticket as everyone breaks up the fight)

Aunt Leslie: (pulls out the chair) Are you okay, honey? (picks Fuller up) Come here. Are you all right?

Kate McCallister: Stop-- (grabs Kevin's hand) What is the matter with you?

Kevin McCallister: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and olives and--

Uncle Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!

(Kevin looks at his family irately staring at him for causing a commotion)

Kate McCallister: Kevin, get upstairs right now.

Kevin McCallister: Why?

Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you're such a disease.

Kevin McCallister: Shut up.

Peter McCallister: Kevin, upstairs!

Kate McCallister: Say goodnight, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: Goodnight, Kevin.

Girl #1: Now what's for dinner?

Girl #2: You're brother's such--

Girl: Like we don't know.

(Kate takes Kevin out of the kitchen by his arm while some of the family members complain about Kevin's behavior)

Kevin McCallister: Why do I get treated like scum?

(Kevin and Kate meet the pizza boy)

Kate McCallister: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts. (hands the pizza boy money)

Kevin McCallister: How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?

Pizza Boy: Nice tip. Thanks a lot. 

Kate McCallister: Thanks.

(The pizza boy leaves)

Harry: Having a reunion or something?

Kate McCallister: Oh, no. My husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer, and both of his kids are still going to school here, and I guess he missed the whole family. 

(Harry smiles at Kevin, showing his gold tooth) 

Kate McCallister: He's giving us all this trip to Paris for the holiday so we can be together.

Harry: You're taking a trip to Paris?

Kate McCallister: Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Harry: Excellent. Excellent.

Kate McCallister: If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back. 

(Kate and Kevin go upstairs)

Harry: Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands. 

(Harry leaves as we cut to upstairs where Kate sternly lectures Kevin while escorting him)

Kate McCallister: There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one that has to make trouble.

Kevin McCallister: I'm the only one getting dumped on.

Kate McCallister: You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs.

Kevin McCallister: I am upstairs, dummy. 

(Kate opens the door to the third floor) 

Kevin McCallister: The third floor?

Kate McCallister: Go.

Kevin McCallister: It's scary up there.

Kate McCallister: Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it.

Kate McCallister: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

Kevin McCallister: I'm sorry.

Kate McCallister: It's too late. Get upstairs.

Kevin McCallister: (walks up stairs and stops) Everyone in this family hates me.

Kate McCallister: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families stink!

Kate McCallister: Just stay up there. I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either.

Kate McCallister: I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.

Kevin McCallister: No, I wouldn't.

Kate McCallister: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.

Kevin McCallister: (bitterly) I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! 

(Kevin walks upstairs as Kate closes the door. Kevin lays on the bed) 

Kevin McCallister: (thinking) I wish they would all just disappear.

(The scene changes to outside where a branch falls on a telephone wire, cutting the electricity in the house and the alarm clock doesn't go off)