Editing Winnie the Pooh Gets Home Alone/Transcript

This is a transcript to ''[[Winnie the Pooh Gets Home Alone]]''.

== Opening/Preparing for Christmas vacation ==
(The scene cuts to outside the McCallister house where we hear an overlapping chatter) 

Woman: Where's my suitcase?

Girls: Downstairs!

Woman: Who stole the hair dryer?

(Inside, Harry is Dressed in a police officer's uniform as the McCallister family is quickly entering and exiting)

Harry: Miss? Young lady. Excuse me. Girls-- Hey, hey, little fella. Hey. Excuse me, girls. Girls-- Hey. Hey-- Hey, big fella! Ma'am. Excuse me.

Aunt Leslie: Help me make the beds in the living room. 

Harry: Ma'am. Excuse me.

Aunt Leslie: Come on down here!

Harry: Hi. Hey, son. Son! Big fella. Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Little guy. Little guy--

(Upstairs)

Kate McCallister: Pete's brother and his family are here. Oh, it's crazy. 

Woman: (on phone) You know, Trish is going to Montreal. 

Kate McCallister: Montreal? Oh, that's right. Her family's there. 

Woman: (on phone) And then we're off. 

Kate McCallister: When do you leave? 

Woman: (on phone) Oh, tomorrow. 

Kate McCallister: You're not ready, are you?

Woman: (on phone) Of course I'm...

(Kevin comes in)

Kevin McCallister: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?

Kate McCallister: Kevin, I'm on the phone. (back on the phone) When do you come back? Not till then?

Kevin McCallister: It's not even rated "R". He's just being a jerk.

Kate McCallister: (sighs) Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no... then it must be really bad. (back on the phone) No, we're not bringing the dog. We're putting it in the kennel for the-- 

(Kevin gets on the bed and starts reading a magazine) 

Kate McCallister: Hey, hey, hey, get off. Kevin, out of the room.

Kevin McCallister: Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you?

Kate McCallister: This kid...

Peter McCallister: Hey, did you by any chance pick up a voltage adapter thing?

Kate McCallister: No, I didn't have time to do that.

Kevin McCallister: Well, how am I supposed to shave in France?

Kate McCallister: Grow a goatee.

Kevin McCallister: Dad, nobody will let me do anything.

Peter McCallister: You don't have anything to do? I've got something for you to do. You can pick up those Micro Machines that are all over in there. Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck.

Kate McCallister: He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.

(Kevin gives a slashing motion across his throat)

Peter McCallister: Didn't we talk about that?

Kevin McCallister: Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I was making ornaments out of fishhooks.

Peter McCallister: My new fishhooks?

Kevin McCallister: I can't make them out of old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on 'em.

Kate McCallister: Peter.

Peter McCallister: Come on, Kevin. Out.

(Peter picks up Kevin as Leslie enters)

Aunt Leslie: Peter, Kate, do you guys have a voltage adapter?

Peter McCallister: Here! Here's a voltage adapter. (gives Kevin to Leslie)

Aunt Leslie: Oh, Kevin. You're getting heavy. (drops Kevin) Go pack your suitcase.

Kevin McCallister: (shocked) Pack my suitcase?

(Downstairs) 

Tracy McCallister: Do you know where the shampoo is, Fuller?

Fuller McCallister: I don't live here.

Tracy McCallister: I don't believe in this house with this many people, there's no shampoo?

Harry: Pardon me, are your parents home?

Tracy McCallister: Yeah, but they don't live here. 

(She walks up the stairs while Heather walks down) 

Heather McCallister: Tracy, did you order the pizza?

Tracy McCallister: Buzz did.

Harry: Excuse me, miss. Are your parents here?

Heather McCallister: My parents live in Paris. Sorry.

(Heather enters the living room as Sondra exits)

Harry: Hi!

Sondra McCallister: Hi!

Harry: Are your parents home?

Sondra McCallister: Yeah.

Harry: Do they live here?

Sondra McCallister: No. (walks off)

Harry: No. Why should they? All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage.

(Upstairs)

Kevin McCallister: I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done this once in my whole life.

Jeff McCallister: Tough.

Kevin McCallister: That's what Megan said.

Megan McCallister: What did I say?

Jeff McCallister: You told Kevin, "Tough."

Megan McCallister: The dope was whining about a suitcase. What am I supposed to do? Shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?

Kevin McCallister: I'm not an idiot!

Megan McCallister: Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you.

Jeff McCallister: She's right, Kev.

Kevin McCallister: Excuse me, puke-breath. I'm a lot smaller than you. I don't know how to pack a suitcase.

Linnie McCallister: Hey, I hope you didn't just pack junk, Jeff.

Jeff McCallister: Shut up, Linnie.

Kevin McCallister: Do you know what I should pack?

Jeff McCallister: Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.

Linnie McCallister: Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff, anyway. You're what the French call ''les incompetents''.

Kevin McCallister: What?

(Jeff is at the top of the stairs)

Jeff McCallister: Bombs away! 

(He throws at bag that lands right at Harry's feet)

Linnie McCallister: P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.

(She leaves leaving Kevin outraged)

Kevin McCallister: This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm livin' alone! Did you hear me? (jumps up and down) I'm livin' alone! I'm livin' alone!

(We cut to Rod and Buzz in Buzz's room. Rod taps on Buzz's tarantula's cage)

Rod McCallister: Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?

Buzz McCallister: He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits?

Rod McCallister: Some don't.

Buzz McCallister: But they got private beaches.

Rod McCallister: Not in the winter. 

(Buzz tests his cassette player as Kevin enters)

Kevin McCallister: Buzz?

Buzz McCallister: Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?

Kevin McCallister: Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep in the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.

Buzz McCallister: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my butt. 

(Kevin looks wide-eyed and then we hear metal scraping)

Buzz McAllister: (looks out the window) Check it out. Old Man Marley.

(Rod, Kevin, and Buzz watch Old Man Marley outside Buzz's window)

Rod McCallister: Who is he?

Buzz McCallister: You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?

Rod McCallister: No.

Buzz McCallister: That's him. Back in '58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.

Rod McCallister: Well, if he's the Shovel Slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?

Buzz McCallister: Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. Now it'll just be a matter of time before he does it again.

Rod McCallister: What's he doin' now?

Buzz McCallister: He walks up and down the streets every night salting the sidewalks.

Rod McCallister: Maybe he's just trying to be nice.

Buzz McCallister: No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies... into mummies.

Rod McCallister: Wow.

Kevin McCallister: Mummies.

(Old Man Marley looks up)

Kevin McCallister: Yeow!

Buzz McCallister: Look out!

(Buzz closes the drapes as Old Man Marley stares)

== Kevin's fight with Buzz/Kevin gets punished ==
(We cut to the pizza boy driving to the McCallister house He hits the statue and gets out of the car and picks it up. We cut back inside where Fuller and Brooke are staring at Harry)

Harry: How you kids doing' huh? Good? Lot of action around here today, huh? Goin' on vacation? Where you goin'? Do you hear me or what? Goin' on a trip? Where you goin' kid?

(Harry hears a knock on the door and opens it as the pizza boy enters)

Pizza Boy: Okay, that's $122.50.

Harry: Not for me, kid. I don't live here.

Pizza Boy: Oh. You just around for the holidays?

Harry: I guess you could say that.

Uncle Frank: (comes down the stairs) Hey, the pizza's here!

Pizza Boy: (gives him the pizzas) Here you go. That's $122.50.

Uncle Frank: Oh, it's my brother's house. He'll take care of it. 

Aunt Leslie: Hey, kids, come on..

(All kids go into the kitchen)

Harry: Hey, listen, uh-- 

Aunt Leslie: Frank, remember to use the red plastic plates.

(Peter comes down the stairs)

Peter McCallister: Hi.

Harry: Hi. Are you Mr. McCallister?

Peter McCallister: Yeah.

Harry: The Mr. McCallister who lives here?

Peter McCallister: Yes.

Pizza Boy: Oh, good, cause somebody owes me $122.50.

Harry: I'd like a word with you, sir.

Peter McCallister: Am I under arrest or something?

Harry: No, no, no, no. It's Christmas time. There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. So, we're just checking the neighborhood to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions, that's all.

Peter McCallister: Oh, yeah. Well, we have automatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors. That's about as well as anybody can do these days. Right? Did you get some eggnog or something like that? 

Buzz McCallister: Come on, Dad. Let's eat. 

Peter McCallister: Come on.

(Buzz and Peter go to the kitchen)

Harry: Eggnog? 

Kevin McCallister: (comes down the stairs) Pizza! Pizza!

Harry: Listen, are you gonna to be leaving, uh--

Kevin McCallister: Pizza!

(In the kitchen)

Aunt Leslie: Grab yourself a napkin, and you're gonna have to pour your own drinks.

Brooke McCallister: Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?

Fuller McCallister: What time do we have to go to bed?

Uncle Frank: Early. We're leaving the house at 8:00 a.m. on the button.

Kate McCallister: I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. (sees Megan throwing something in the trash can) Hey! Don't you dare.

Peter McCallister: Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip.

Kate McCallister: For pizza?

Peter McCallister: Ten pizzas times 12 bucks.

Aunt Leslie: Frank, you've got some money, don't you? Come on.

Uncle Frank: Traveler's checks.

Kate McCallister: Forget it, Frank. We have cash.

(Buzz was stuffing his face with a pizza)

Peter McAllister: You probably got the checks that don't work in France.

Uncle Frank: What are tose?

Kevin McCallister: Did anyone order me a plain cheese?

Buzz McCallister: Oh, yeah, we did, but if you want any... somebody's gonna have to barf it all up, 'cause it's gone.

Aunt Leslie: Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.

(Fuller drinks a can of Pepsi and smiles at Kevin. Kevin looks furious at Buzz)

Buzz McCallister: Kev! Kevin, get a plate. (mock retching) 

(Buzz chokes on the cheese and barfs. Kevin roars, tackling Buzz and knocking over the milk on the passports)

Everyone: (gasps, clamoring) 

Fuller McCallister: Wow! (gets out of his chair) 

Peter McCallister: The passports! (gets up and spills Pepsi) 

Uncle Frank: Watch it! 

(Frank's chair is pulled out and hits Fuller)

Fuller McCallister: (muffled shout)

(People start to clean up kitchen table quickly)

Uncle Frank: Help me out here! 

Peter McCallister: No, no. Let's get these passports out of here. 

Kate McCallister: Kevin, get off of him!

Kevin McCallister: You moron!

(Peter throws away a bunch of napkins, along with Kevin's airline ticket as everyone breaks up the fight)

Aunt Leslie: (pulls out the chair) Are you okay, honey? (picks Fuller up) Come here. Are you all right?

Kate McCallister: Stop-- (grabs Kevin's hand) What is the matter with you?

Kevin McCallister: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and olives and--

Uncle Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!

(Kevin looks at his family irately staring at him for causing a commotion)

Kate McCallister: Kevin, get upstairs right now.

Kevin McCallister: Why?

Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you're such a disease.

Kevin McCallister: Shut up.

Peter McCallister: Kevin, upstairs!

Kate McCallister: Say goodnight, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: Goodnight, Kevin.

Girl #1: Now what's for dinner?

Girl #2: You're brother's such--

Girl: Like we don't know.

(Kate takes Kevin out of the kitchen by his arm while some of the family members complain about Kevin's behavior)

Kevin McCallister: Why do I get treated like scum?

(Kevin and Kate meet the pizza boy)

Kate McCallister: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts. (hands the pizza boy money)

Kevin McCallister: How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?

Pizza Boy: Nice tip. Thanks a lot. 

Kate McCallister: Thanks.

(The pizza boy leaves)

Harry: Having a reunion or something?

Kate McCallister: Oh, no. My husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer, and both of his kids are still going to school here, and I guess he missed the whole family. 

(Harry smiles at Kevin, showing his gold tooth) 

Kate McCallister: He's giving us all this trip to Paris for the holiday so we can be together.

Harry: You're taking a trip to Paris?

Kate McCallister: Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Harry: Excellent. Excellent.

Kate McCallister: If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back. 

(Kate and Kevin go upstairs)

Harry: Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands. 

(Harry leaves as we cut to upstairs where Kate sternly lectures Kevin while escorting him)

Kate McCallister: There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one that has to make trouble.

Kevin McCallister: I'm the only one getting dumped on.

Kate McCallister: You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs.

Kevin McCallister: I am upstairs, dummy. 

(Kate opens the door to the third floor) 

Kevin McCallister: The third floor?

Kate McCallister: Go.

Kevin McCallister: It's scary up there.

Kate McCallister: Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it.

Kate McCallister: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

Kevin McCallister: I'm sorry.

Kate McCallister: It's too late. Get upstairs.

Kevin McCallister: (walks up stairs and stops) Everyone in this family hates me.

Kate McCallister: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families stink!

Kate McCallister: Just stay up there. I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night.

Kevin McCallister: I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't want to see anybody else either.

Kate McCallister: I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.

Kevin McCallister: No, I wouldn't.

Kate McCallister: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.

Kevin McCallister: (bitterly) I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! 

(Kevin walks upstairs as Kate closes the door. Kevin lays on the bed) 

Kevin McCallister: (thinking) I wish they would all just disappear.

(The scene changes to outside where a branch falls on a telephone wire, cutting the electricity in the house and the alarm clock doesn't go off)

== Late arrival at the airport/Meeting Kevin ==
(The scene cuts to the nest day at the front of the McCallister house where a van driver knocks on the door while another van driver picks up the statue and an electrician fixes the power)

Van Driver #1: Where are they?

Van Driver #2: I don't know. She said 8:00 sharp.

(Cuts to Kate and Peter's bedroom. The doorbell rings as Kate checks the alarm clock and then checks her watch)

Kate McCallister: Peter! 

(Peter and Kate both get out of bed quickly)

Both: We slept in! 

(Everyone gets up and starts getting ready and loading up the van. Outside, Mitch Murphy walks up to the vans)

Mitch Murphy: Hi. I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida. Well, actually, first we're going into Missouri to pick up my grandma. Do you know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage?

Driver #1: Gee, kid, I don't know. Hit the road.

(Inside the McCallister house) 

Everyone: (clamoring) 

Kate McCallister: Heather, do a head count. Make sure everyone's in the vans. Where are the passports and tickets?

Peter McCallister: I put 'em in the microwave to dry 'em off.

(Outside) 

Mitch Murphy: How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have 4-wheel drive?

Driver #2: Look, I told you before, kid, don't bother me. Now, beat it.

(Mitch stays in the back of the van as the McCallister kids come outside)

Heather McCallister: Line up in front of the van. 

Megan McCallister: Did you take my batteries?

Heather McCallister: Come on guys. Line up and shut up!

Mitch Murphy: (opens a McCallister bag) Wow! (takes a camera out and shutters it)

Heather McCallister: Shut up. I gotta take a head count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

Buzz McCallister: 11, 92, 12...

Heather McCallister: Buzz, don't be a moron. 6, 7, 8... (counts Mitch as he takes out a yo-yo) 9, 10, 11. Okay. Half in this van, half in this van, come on. Let's go. 

(Mitch gets out of the van while the McCallister kids get in)

Mitch Murphy: Have a good trip. Bring me back something French. 

(Mitch leaves as Kate, Leslie, Peter, and Frank exit the house)

Uncle Frank: There's no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.

Peter McCallister: Think positive, Frank.

Uncle Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic. 

(The adults get in the van)

Electrical Worker: Ma'am? Ma'am? 

Kate McCallister: What?

Electrical Worker: Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that your power is fixed, but the phones are a mess. It's gonna take Ma Bell a couple of days to patch 'em up. Especially around the holidays.

Kate McCallister: Okay, thanks. (closes the van) Heather! Did you count heads?

Heather McCallister: Eleven, including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree.

(The vans drive off and then the scene changes to the airport where the McCallisters are rushing to the terminal) 

Woman: (on P.A.): Attention, please...

Peter McCallister: This way! Hold the plane!

Kate McCallister: Did we miss the flight?

Airport Gate Agent: No, you just made it. 

All: Yeah! 

Airport Gate Agent: Single seats only in coach. Take whatever's free.

(Scene cuts to inside the airplane.)

Airport Gate Agent: Single seats only in coach, take whatever's free.

Kids: Thank you!

Boy: I get a window seat!

Peter McCallister: You kids are in coach. We're up here.

Flight Attendant: Here are your seats. Five A and B. and four A and B. I'll take your coats. 

Peter McCallister: Thank you.

Flight Attendant: Fasten your seat belts, please.

Uncle Frank: Champagne, please. It's free, isn't it?

Flight Attendant: Oh, yes.

Peter McCallister: We made it.

Kate McCallister: Do you believe it? (sighs) Hope we didn't forget anything.

(Back at the McCallister house, Kevin comes down from the third floor and walks out the door. Shows plane takes off and then back to the McCallister house where Kevin comes out of the bathroom. He goes downstairs to the kitchen and turns on the TV. He watches what's on and notices that he's alone. He turns off the TV)

Kevin McCallister: Mom?

(The scene cuts back to the plane in the air and shows the McCallisters inside)

Man: Thank you.

Uncle Frank: That's real. That's real crystal. It's real.

Aunt Leslie: Yeah. So?

Uncle Frank: Put 'em in your purse.

Aunt Leslie: Frank, I can't do that.

Uncle Frank: Put 'em! Put 'em! Put 'em! Just-- Put them in your purse! 

Flight Attendant: Champange? 

Uncle Frank: Uh, yeah. Uh, fill it up, fill it up. Fill it up, please. Thank you.

Kate McCallister: Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with all of the kids back in coach?

Peter McCallister: No. The kids are fine. The only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon, and it wasn't to France. We used to have to go over to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house. The kids are okay. They're having the time of their lives.

(Back at the McCallister house)

Kevin McCallister: Hello? Mom? Dad? Mom? Dad? Where are you guys?

(Kevin goes in Buzz's room)

Kevin McCallister: Buzz? Buzz? Buzz? Megan?

(Kevin goes down the basement)

Kevin McCallister: Hello? Hello? Rod? Uncle Frank? Uncle Frank, is this a joke? Megan? Linnie? Is this a joke? 

(He looks around and hears noise) 

Kevin McCallister: (gasps) 

(Noise comes from the furnace) 

Kevin McCallister: It's only my imagination. Only my imagination.

(The furnace continues to make noise as Kevin runs out of the basement and outside to the front of the garage)

Kevin McCallister: The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport.

(Kevin goes back inside to the kitchen)

Kevin McCallister: I made my family disappear.

Megan McCallister (flashback): Kevin, you're completely helpless.

Linnie McCallister (flashback): You know, Kevin, you're what the French call ''les incompetents''.

Buzz McCallister (flashback): Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.

Jeff McCallister (flashback): Kevin, you are such a disease.

Kate McCallister (flashback): There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.

Frank McCallister (flashback): Look what you did, you little jerk.

Kevin McCallister: I made my family disappear?

(Kevin ecstatically celebrates his "freedom" of living home alone by jumping on his parents' bed while eating popcorn and running around the house)

Kevin McCallister: I'm free! Free! Free! Aah! Whoo! (screaming)

(Kevin goes inside Buzz's room and opens Buzz's trunk and takes out some firecrackers)

Kevin McCallister: Cool! Firecrackers! I'll save these for later. Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff! You better come out and pound me! 

(Kevin finds a picture of Buzz's girlfriend and grimaces) 

Kevin McCallister: Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof! (puts down the picture and glass shatters) 

(Kevin sees Buzz's BB gun hanging on his wall as the scene cuts to inside the kitchen and uses the BB gun to shoot action figures and a spatula down the laundry chute. The scene then cuts to the kitchen counter with ice cream, marshmallows, whipped cream, etc. as Kevin is in the living room watching Angels with Filthy Souls. The movie plays and show someone in an office and then someone knocks on the door)

Johnny (on TV): Who is it?

Snakes (on TV): It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.

Johnny (on TV): Leave it on the doorstep and get the heck out of here.

Snakes (on TV): All right, Johnny. But what about my money?

Johnny (on TV): What money?

Snakes (on TV): Acey said you had some dough for me.

Johnny (on TV): Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

Snakes (on TV): Acey said 10%.

Johnny (on TV): Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.

Snakes (on TV): What do you mean?

Kevin McCallister: Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

Johnny (on TV): He's upstairs taking a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. (pause) Hey. I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. (takes out his Tommy gun) I'm gonna give you to the count of 10... to get your ugly, yellow... no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead.

Snakes (on TV): All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

Johnny (on TV): 1, 2, 10!  

(Johnny shoots and kills Snakes while laughing as Kevin covers his eyes)  

Johnny (on TV): Keep the change, ya filthy animal. 

(Kevin pauses the film)

Kevin McCallister: MOM!!!

(Meanwhile, Pooh Bear, Ash, and their friends are passing through the neighborhood)

Pooh Bear: Well, here we are.

Piglet: Where are we?

Ash Ketchum: This is Chicago, Illinois.

Pikachu: Pika Pika.

-

(Kevin notices he's got company)

Kevin McCallister: Huh?

Pooh Bear: Hello, Kevin McCallister.

Kevin McCallister: Uh, who are you guys? How do you know my name?

Pooh Bear: This is Piglet, Tigger and Rabbit. This is Eeyore.

Eeyore: Thanks for noticing.

Pooh Bear: And I'm Winnie the Pooh.

Kevin McCallister: I remember your stories from when I was very little.

Pikachu: Pika Pika.

Kevin McCallister: Hey, Ash. Who is this cute little guy? 

(He's about to touch Pikachu's cheeks and Ash stopped him gently)

Ash Ketchum: Careful, Kevin. If you touch Pikachu's cheeks, you'll get shocked literally.

Kevin McCallister: Oh, sorry, Ash.

Pikachu: Pika Pikachu.

(But Pikachu snuggles with Kevin)

Ash Ketchum: Pikachu is pleased to meet you. He likes meeting new friends. However, he can be very hostile towards anyone who crosses him.

Pikachu: Pikachu.

== Kate's realization ==
(The scene cuts to the plane as Kate checks her pocketbook)

Peter McCallister: What's the matter? Honey?

Kate McCallister: I have a terrible feeling.

Peter McCallister: About what?

Kate McCallister: That we didn't do something.

Peter McCallister: Oh, no, you feel that way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me, we did.

Kate McCallister: Did I turn off the coffee?

Peter McCallister: No. I did.

Kate McCallister: Did you lock up?

Peter McCallister: Yeah.

Kate McCallister: Did you close the garage?

Peter McCallister: That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.

Kate McCallister: (she sits back, still thinking) No, that's not it.

Peter McCallister: What else could we be forgetting?

(Silence for a couple of seconds until…)

Kate McCallister: (shocked) KEVIN!!!

== Meeting the Street Sharks and the Extreme Dinosaurs/The Wet Bandits and villains arrive ==
(Meanwhile outside the neighborhood of Chicago, the Street Sharks and the Extreme Dinosaurs are walking down the street)

Ripster: So, this is Chicago, Illinois?

T-Bone: It sure is.

-

(The scene cuts to Kevin sledding down a flight of stairs and out the front door)

Kevin McAllister: Whoa!

-

Tigger: Say, who are you?

Ripster: I'm Ripster and this is Streex, Jab, and Big Slammu. We're the Street Sharks.

T-Bone: I'm T-Bone, and this is Spike, Stegz, Bullzeye, Hardrock, and Ridge. We're the Extreme Dinosaurs.

Pooh Bear: Well, this is Piglet, Tigger, and Rabbit, and Eeyore.

Eeyore: Thanks for noticing.

Pooh Bear: And I'm Winnie the Pooh, but you can call me Pooh for short.

-

Kevin McCallister: Are you guys really sharks?

Ripster: Yep.

Streex: Well, actually, we were ordinary teenage boys until we were experimented and transformed into mutant humanoid sharks.

-

Kevin McCallister: (to the Extreme Dinosaurs) I've never seen dinosaurs like you before.

-

(The scene cuts to the plane as Kate, Peter, Leslie, and Frank are in a conversation. The flight attendant comes)

Flight Attendant: The captain's doing all he can. Your phones are still out of order.

Aunt Leslie: We'll call as soon as we land, Kate. I'm sure everything's okay.

Uncle Frank: It's horrible. Horrible. Just horrible.

Kate McCallister: How could we do this? We forgot him.

Peter McCallister: We didn't forget him. We just... miscounted.

Kate McCallister: What kind of mother am I?

Uncle Frank: If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.

(The scene cuts to the street and shows Harry and Marv among with the villains in their van)

Harry: Five families gone on one block alone. They all told me from their own mouths.

Marv: (chuckles) It's almost too easy

Dr. Facilier: (chuckles) Tell me about it.

Joker: Oh, yes, a quiet little evening.

Jafar: I love the sound of that.

Harry: Check it out. All the houses with nobody home... have automatic timers on their lights. But I got it all figured out. Watch this. Number 664 will be going on... right about... now. 

(Lights come on) 

Marv: Oh. 

Jessie: (giggles) It's just like magic. 

Harry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Number 672... right... now. 

(Lights come on) 

Marv: (laughs) 

Harry: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 671... now. 

(Lights come on at Kevin's house) 

Marv: (laughs) 

Harry: And that's the one, Marvin. That's the silver tuna.

Marv: Oh, It's very "G".

Harry: Very "G," huh? It's loaded. It's got lots of topflight goods. Stereos, VCRs.

Marv: Toys.

Prince Hans: Too babyish. You idiots are much too old to be playing with toys.

Harry: Probably lookin' at some very fine jewelry. Possible cash hoard. Odd marketable securities. Who knows? It's a gem. Grab your crowbar. 

Maleficent: Very good, gentlemen. 

(Each of them grabs a crowbar) 

Harry: Crowbars up. 

(They clink crowbars. We cut to inside the McCallister house, showing the Grinch on TV and Kevin is asleep. Then cuts to Harry and Marv's van driving up to Kevin's house. Kevin wakes up and sees them as they're trying to sneak in)

Marv: Which way?

Harry: We'll go around back, down the basement. Come on. Follow me. 

(Marv tries to break in with his crowbar, but Kevin goes to the basement, turning on all the lights)

Marv: I thought you said they were gone.

Harry: They were supposed to leave this morning.

Marv: Let's get out of here.

(Harry and Marv leave the house as the scene cuts to Kevin hiding under his parents' bed)

== Kate calls the Police/Family Crisis Intervention ==
(We then cut to the plane landing in Paris)

Woman (on PA): (speaking French) ''Votre attention s'il vous plait...''

(The McCallister family rushes to a payphone where a woman is on the phone)

Kate McCallister: Miss, we have to use the phone, please. 

French Woman: ''Madame, que faites vous?''

Kate McCallister: I'm sorry. It's an emergency. We really have to make a call.

French Woman: ''Que se passe-t-il?''

Linnie McCallister: Please! Our brother's home alone.

French Woman: ''Rendez moi le telephone.''

Megan McCallister: Just give us the phone! (takes the phone from her and gives it to Kate)

Kate McCallister: Thank you. I'm sorry, but thank you. (to Peter) Peter, I'm gonna call the police. Why don't you book us a flight home? (gives her purse to Linnie) Here, get some change out of here. Call everybody you know. (gets her address book out of her purse) Oh. Leslie. Here's my address book. You and Frank call everybody who lives on our street. Maybe somebody can help us. (gets on the phone, hearing a man speaking in French) What am I doing? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh, she'll have to call you back.

(At the McCallister house)

Kevin McCallister: This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house.

(Kevin gets out from under the bed and then walks outside)

Kevin McCallister: Hey! I'm not afraid anymore! I said, I'm not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore!

(Just then Old Man Marley walks up. Kevin sees him standing right in front of him with his shovel and his garbage can of salt. Kevin screams and runs back in the house, runs upstairs frantically and hides under the sheets of the bed. We then cut to the Village Police Department. The telephone rings)

Rose: Village Police Department.

Kate McCallister: Yeah. Hi. Look, I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. (on phone) Our phones there are out of order, so I'd like somebody to go over to our house and tell him that we're coming home to get him.

Rose: Okay, let me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention.

Kate McCallister: No, it's not a family crisis.

Rose: Hold on.

(Rose knocks on Larry's window) 

Rose: Larry, can you pick up? There's some lady on hold, sounds kind of hyper.

Larry Balzak: What line, Rose?

Rose: Uh, two.

(Larry picks up the phone)

Larry Balzak: Family Crisis Intervention. Sergeant Balzac. (takes a bite out of his doughnut)

Kate McCallister: I am calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone.

Larry Balzak: Has the child been involved in a violent altercation with a drunken and/or mentally ill member of his immediate family?

Kate McCallister: No.

Larry Balzak: Has he been involved in a household accident?

Kate McCallister: I don't know. I don't-- I hope not.

(Larry takes another bite out of his doughnut) 

Larry Balzak: Has the child ingested any poison and/or any other object that has become lodged in his throat?

Kate McCallister: No, he's just home alone, (on phone) and I would like somebody to go over to the house and see that he's all right, just to check on him.

Larry Balzak: You want us to go to your house just to check on him?

Kate McCallister: Yes!

Larry Balzak: Let me connect you with the police department.

Kate McCallister: No, they just transferred me to you.

Larry Balzak: Rose?

Rose: Yeah?

Larry Balzak: Hyper on two. 

Rose: Hang on.

Larry Balzak: Hold on, please.

(Larry puts Kate on hold and hangs up)

Kate McCallister: No, please don't hang up. Please, don't-- (to Linnie) Any luck?

Linnie McCallister: No. We couldn't get anybody.

(Leslie approaches)

Kate McCallister: Leslie?

Aunt Leslie: I'm sorry, Kate. Nothing but a bunch of answering machines.

(Kate gets back on the phone)

Kate McCallister: Somebody pick up. Pick up!

Rose: Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.

Kate McCallister: Yeah, hi. Look. I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone, and I--

Rose: Okay, okay. We'll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son.

(The scene cuts to a policeman driving to the house and then knocks on the door several times and rings the doorbell as Kevin continues to hide under the covers)

Officer #1: (on his walkie talkie) There's no one home. The house looks secure. Tell 'em to count their kids again.

Officer #2: (on police radio) 10-4.

(The scene cuts back to Paris as Peter is at the airport desk)

Peter McCallister: I can't believe that you can't bump somebody or ask somebody--

French Flight Agent: I'm sorry, but there's no way I can do that.

Peter McCallister: Well, isn't there a way like if you ask somebody? I mean, if you brought somebody up here and explained to them that this is an emergency--

French Flight Agent: I wish I could, but I cannot ask someone--

(Kate approaches)

Kate McCallister: They're sending a policeman over to the house to check on Kevin.

Peter McCallister: Well, that's a relief. Everything here is booked.

Kate McCallister: There's nothing to Chicago?

Peter McCallister: There's nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville. You name it. Everything's gone.

Kate McCallister: What about a private plane?

French Flight Agent: No, I'm sorry. We don't do that.

Peter McCallister: The only thing they have is a booking for all of us on Friday morning.

Kate McCallister: Friday morn-- That's two days away.

Peter McCallister: Look, honey, the kids are exhausted. You are exhausted. There's absolutely nothing more that we can do at this airport. Now, I say we go over to Rob's, and that way we can call the police again, and they can get back to us.

Kate McCallister: Peter, Kevin ishome all by himself. I'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane.

French Flight Agent: Madame, we are doing everything we can. Now, if you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on standby. It is a possibility that a seat will open up.

Peter McCallister: Is that okay?

Kate McCallister: Yes. I'll wait.

(Peter and Kate say goodbye to each other)

Kate McCallister: Bye. I'll miss you. 

Peter McCallister: Bye. 

(Peter and Kate hug)

Peter McCallister: Find Kevin.

(They kiss)

Peter McCallister: Don't you get lost. 

Kate McCallister: Good-bye. 

Uncle Frank: Good-bye, Kate. 

(Kate waves goodbye to the rest of the McCallister family. The scene cuts to the McCallister house as Kevin is grooming himself with the Street Sharks. They are grooming themselves as well)

Ripster: Did you wash up, Kevin?

Kevin McCallister: Yep, I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap... including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used creme rinse for that just-washed shine. 

Streex: Looks like you're all cleaned up. Did you brush your teeth?

Kevin McCallister: Nope, I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when we go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. 

Jab: All right, Kevin. You're just like us. (flexes his bicep)

Big Slammu: Wait! Kevin don't put that on. That's... 

(Kevin puts on aftershave and screams out of agony) 

Big Slammu: ...aftershave. 

(The scene then cuts to Buzz's room. Kevin looks at the top of Buzz's shelf and finds Buzz's life savings. The Extreme Dinosaurs notice) 

T-Bone: You need some help, Kevin?

Kevin McCallister: No, I got it.

(Kevin climbs on one of the shelves, it breaks, and everything falls down)

Spike (Extreme Dinosaurs): (concerned) Kevin, are you all right?

Kevin McCallister: I'm okay, Spike.

Stegz: Next time, ask for help.

Kevin McCallister: I'll remember for the next time. All right! Buzz's life savings. (takes the money out of Buzz's tin) 

Bullzeye: What about this mess?

Kevin McCallister: I'll clean it up later.

(Kevin and the Extreme Dinosaurs leave the room as Buzz's tarantula comes out of the cage. The scene cuts to Kevin and the heroes walking out of the house. Kevin sees Harry and Marv's van outside the Murphy house)

Kevin McCallister: I thought the Murphys went to Florida. 

(Kevin shrugs and he and the heroes continue walking)

(The scene cuts to inside to inside the Murphy house where Harry is playing with a remote-control car and Marv puts some expensive goods in a bag with his crowbar, creating a mess in the process)

Harry: You know, you're one of the great cat burglars of the world, Marv. You think you could keep it down a little in there, huh? 

(The phone rings)

Chuck Murphy: (on voicemail) Hi, you've reached the Murphys. Please leave a message after you hear the beep.

(Beep)

Peter McCallister: (on voicemail) Chuck, this is Peter McCallister again, and we're still in Paris at my brother's apartment. Let me give you the number here, okay. The country code is 3-3. The area code is 1-4. And the number is 694-876...

Marv: Hey, Harry?

Harry: Yeah?

Marv: That house we were at last night, was that the McCallisters?

Harry: Yeah.

Peter McCallister: (on voicemail) Call me in Paris.

Marv: You're right. They're gone.

Harry: I knew they were.

Marv: Silver tuna tonight. (chuckles)

Harry: (looks at an expensive toy, seeing all kinds of shapes and colors when you flip turn the knobs) Wow!

== Kevin shoplifts a toothbrush/Encountering the Wet Bandits ==
(The scene changes to Kevin and the heroes at the pharmacy. Kevin comes up to the counter with a toothbrush)

Cashier: How may I help you?

Kevin McCallister: Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?

Cashier: Well, I don't know. (takes it and checks) It doesn't say, hon.

Kevin McCallister: Can you please find out?

Cashier: Herb!

Herb: Yeah?

Cashier: I've got a question here about a toothbrush. 

(The bell rings as we see a pair of wet boots enter)

Cashier: Do you know, is this brush approved by the American Dental Association?

Herb: I don't know. 

(As they were chatting, the boots come closer to the counter. Old Man Marley slams his bandaged hand on the counter. Kevin gasps as he locks eyes with Old Man Marley, he walks backwards with the toothbrush heading out the door)

Rabbit: Kevin, what are you doing?!

Ash Ketchum: Uh, Kevin. You forgot to pay for the toothbrush.

Pooh Bear: I'd listen to Ash if I were you, young man.

(But Kevin is too scared to listen)

Herb: Just tell him that--

Cashier: Oh, hon, you pay for that here. 

Herb: Why don't you just tell him it's approved?

Cashier: Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son? Son!

Ash Ketchum: Kevin, wait!

(Kevin rushes out of the store)

Misty: Kev, where are you going?

Tigger: Kevin, wait!

Cashier: Hey! Jimmy! Stop that boy!

(Jimmy runs out)

Jimmy: Hey! Hey! (to a police officer) Shoplifter!

(The police officer sees Kevin. Kevin gasps and then he runs)

Police Officer: Hey! Hey, kid! 

(The police officer chases Kevin through the park)

Police Officer: Come back here! Stop it, will ya! Come here!

(Kevin slides into an ice rink where he's on his knees making his way through a bunch of skaters)

Kevin McCallister: Whoa! Whoa! (goes through someone's legs) Whoa! Whoa!

(The police officer slips and gets tangled with one of the skaters and falls down)

Kevin McCallister: Yee-haw!

(Kevin gets out of the ice rink as we see him and the heroes walking across a bridge, over a train. We then cut Kevin and the heroes walking back home. Kevin looks at the toothbrush)

Kevin McCallister: I'm a criminal.

Misty: Oh, Kevin. I can't believe that you took a toothbrush without paying for it. Why would you just go and do such a thing like that?

Kevin McCallister: Because I saw Old Man Marley and he scared me.

Misty: Who is Old Man Marley?

Kevin McCallister: He's my next-door neighbor. The other night Buzz said about Old Man Marley that he murdered his family back in 1958.

Misty: That's still no excuse for taking the toothbrush without paying.

Ash Ketchum: And you shouldn't listen to rumors that aren't true. Because I'm sure what your brother told you was all lies.

(The scene changes to Marv putting rags in the sink's drains and turning on the faucet full blast. He walks out of the house with a bulging bag and VCR and loads them into the van laughing)

Harry: What's so funny? What's so funny? What are you laughin' at? You did it again, didn't you? You left the water runnin', didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it.

Marv: Harry, It's our calling card.

Harry: Calling card.

Marv: All the great ones leave their mark. We're the "Wet Bandits."

Harry: You're sick, you know? You're really sick.

Marv: I'm not sick

Harry: Yes, you are.

Marv: I'm not sick!

Harry: That's a sick thing to do!

(We cut to Kevin and the heroes walking on the sidewalk to their direction while Kevin has his head down)

Pikachu: Pika?

(Sparks fly from Pikachu's cheeks)

Ash Ketchum: Huh? What's the matter, Pikachu?

??: ??

(Pikachu senses danger as the Wet Bandits are close by)

Harry: We don't need that kind of heat.

Marv: Don't tell me what to do. I can do it if I want to. 

(Kevin and the heroes walks in front of them)

Harry: You're sick.

Marv: I'm not sick. (sees Kevin and the heroes) Hey, watch out! 

(Kevin freezes in the middle of the road as Harry slams on the brakes. Kevin screams, almost getting hit. Harry rolls down his window as Kevin continues to walk fast)

Harry: Hey. Hey! You and your friends gotta watch out for traffic, son, you know?

Kevin McCallister: Sorry.

Pooh Bear: Begging your humble pardons, gentlemen.

Rabbit: Oh, he will next time.

Harry: Darn.

Marv: Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy. 

(Kevin nods while Pooh Bear and his friends felt appalled upon hearing a threat)

Harry: Okay, okay. Merry Christmas. (he smiles, showing a gold tooth)

(Kevin, Pooh Bear and his friends gasp in shock and horror)

Pooh Bear: Oh, bother. We'd better leave now.

Tigger: And fast!

Marv: What's the matter?

Harry: I don't like the way that kid and his friends looked at me. Did you see that?

Marv: You ever seen him before?

Harry: I saw a hundred kids this week.

Marv: Let's see what house he goes into.

(Harry follows Kevin and the heroes slowly. Kevin looks back to find Harry and Marv whistling and looking away from him. Kevin starts running as Harry and Marv continue to follow him)

Pikachu''':''' (Sparks sputter) Pika!!!

Marv: Why is he goin' faster?

Harry: Look, I told you something's wrong. See, I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run?

(They continue following him as we cut to outside the church. Kevin disguises himself right outside the church)

Marv: Maybe he went in the church.

Harry: I'm not goin' in there.

Marv: Me neither.

Harry: Ah, let's get out of here.

(Kevin gets out of his disguise and starts to run home)

Pooh Bear: (sighs) That was close.

Tigger: Yeah, too close.

Ash Ketchum: We better get out of here before they come back to get us.

(Pikachu nods)

Kevin McCallister: When those guys come back, I'll be ready.

(We cut the McCallister house as we hear laughter. Harry and Marv pull into the front of the house. Marv rolls down the window)

Marv: Did they come back?

Harry: From Paris?

(Inside, Kevin is dancing while moving a bunch of mannequins and a cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan from Buzz's room)

Harry: We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe they'll be gone by then. We'd better get out of here before somebody sees us.

(Harry and Marv drive off as Kevin looks out the window smiling)

Brock: Great idea, Kevin.

(We cut to Rob's Living Room in Paris, where the McCallister family is watching "It's A Wonderful Life" in Frech)

Uncle Frank: (comes in with a platter) ''Attencion! Attencion!'' Look what I have found in ''ze'' kitchen!

Aunt Georgette: Frank, those are for later. Frank? 

(Frank ignores Georgette and hands out shrimp to kids)

Uncle Frank: ''Mes petits enfants,'' do you want a little shrimp, huh?

(Peter was talking on the phone in another room)

Peter McCallister: Opera--Do you speak English? 

(The operator was speaking in French)

Peter McCallister: Uh, ''parlez anglais?'' 

(The operator continues to speak in French)

Peter McCallister: Well, is there-- I mean... (speaks in French) ''Est ce qui un person qui parle anglais?''

Uncle Frank: Did you get anybody?

Peter McCallister: I am looking for my son! Do you know where he is? (to Frank) No, I can't find anybody. They've all shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays. (back on the phone) Never mind. Forget it.

(In Rob's living room)

Megan McCallister: This is so pointless.

Buzz McCallister: What?

Megan McCallister: We're here rotting in this apartment, Kevin's at home, Mom's at the airport.

Buzz McCallister: So?

Megan McCallister: You're not at all worried about Kevin?

Buzz McCallister: Why should I be? You know, he's acted like a jerk once too many times, and this time he caught it in the butt.

Megan McCallister: He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out?

Buzz McCallister: The little trout can use a couple of days in the real world.

Megan McCallister: You're not at all worried that something might happen to him?

Buzz McCallister: No. For three reasons-- A--I'm not that lucky, 2--we have smoke detectors, and D--we live in the most boring street in the United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen, period.

(We then cut to the McCallister house where the pizza boy hits the statue again. The pizza boy gets out of the car and picks up the statue. He walks up to the front door where he reads a sign saying, "BACK DOOR PLEASE". He goes around at the back door and knocks on the door)

Johnny (on TV): Who is it?

Pizza Boy: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza.

Johnny (on TV): Leave it on the doorstep and get the heck out of here.

Pizza Boy: Okay. (places the pizza on the patio) Um, well, what about the money?

(Inside, Kevin unmutes the TV)

Johnny (on TV): What money?

Pizza Boy: Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.

Johnny (on TV): Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

(Kevin fast forwards the tape)

Pizza Boy: Uh, that'll be $11.80, sir. 

(Kevin sneaks $12 from the bottom of the door and then resumes the tape)

Johnny (on TV): Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Pizza Boy: Cheapskate.

Johnny (on TV): Hey. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly... yellow, no-good keister off my property... before I pump your guts full of lead. 1, 2, 10!

(Gunshot soundbytes and Johnny laughing scare the Pizza Boy. He crashes into garbage cans and runs away frantically and drives off. Kevin opens the door and picks up the pizza and smells it)

Kevin McCallister: (inhales deeply, sighs) A lovely cheese pizza just for me. (closes the door) (to the heroes) You guys hungry?

Pooh Bear: I am.

Tigger: Me too.

Ash Ketchum: And so am I.

(We cut to the Paris airport)

Woman (on PA): To Dallas-Fort Worth (speaking in French)

Kate McCallister: So, we have the $500, the pocket translator, the two first-class seats-- that's an upgrade from your coach--

Irene: Is that a real Rolex?

Kate McCallister: Do you think it is?

Irene: No.

Kate McCallister: But who can tell? I also have a ring.

Irene: Oh, that is beautiful!

Ed: Come on, Irene. They're boarding.

Irene: Oh, this gal has offered us two first-class tickets if we go Friday. Plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translator, $500 and--

Kate McCallister: The earrings. You love the earrings

Ed: She's got her own earrings. A whole shoebox full of 'em. Dangly ones. Come on, come on.

Irene: No, but--

(They are about to leave)

Kate McCallister: I'm desperate. I'm begging you. From a mother to a mother. please.

Irene: Oh, Ed.

Kate McCallister: Please.

Ed: Oh, all right.

(We cut to an airplane landing in Dallas)

== Later that night/Kevin and the heroes go grocery shopping ==
(That night at the McCallister house, Kevin and the heroes are in his parents' bedroom watching The Johnny Carson Show on TV)

Johnny Carson: (reading a letter on TV) "Dear Santa Claus. I got a little sister last year. This year I'd rather have some clay-dough."

(Laughing was heard on TV)

Johnny Carson: (on TV) Lovely. (reads another letter) "Dear Santa, last year, you didn't bring me the Ferrari. This year, you better bring me the Porsche."

Kevin McCallister: You see, guys. I can explain what happened. Two nights ago, it was all my brother Buzz's fault. He ate all my cheese pizza, and he didn't leave any slices for me. I hate all toppings, including olives and sausages.

Timon: Your own brother ate it all before you can eat some?

Kevin McCallister: Yeah. Buzz never gets in trouble, and he thinks I'm a runt. My parents have taken Buzz's side instead of mine.

Misty: (sits next to Kevin) I understand, and I also feel that same way you do, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: You do?

Misty: Yes. You see, my three older sisters, Daisy, Lily and Violet, also think that I'm a runt. They each have their own Princess doll sets and all I ever get is old, broken hand-me-downs and they would say, "Isn't that great, Misty? Now you get three sets of Princess dolls for yourself.".

Ducky: That's not fair. Oh, no, no, no.

Cera: Yeah, what a meanie your brother was.

Rabbit: Well, sometimes siblings don't always share anything.

Kevin McCallister: You know what, guys? I've been wishing for someone to be on my side. And yet I knew you guys would never take Buzz's side.

Shaggy: Like, we wouldn't take someone else's side if they're not being nice to you. 

Scooby-Doo: Yeah. 

Ripster: That's right, Kevin. 

Streex: If your brother was being mean, we believe you. 

T-Bone: We wouldn't betray anyone.  

Misty: Being the youngest child in the family isn't easy. I know because I happen to be the youngest sister in my own family.  My three older sisters would tease me about being the "runt" and brag about how much more beautiful and talented than I am.

Kevin McCallister: That's easy for you to say, Misty. Buzz always gets off scot-free.

Misty: What do you mean?

Kevin McCallister: Well, Buzz gets me in trouble and my mom punished me. My other older brother Jeff and two older sisters Megan and Linnie also make fun of me. I always get blamed for everything. My Uncle Frank doesn't treat me nicely at all. All he did was call me names.

Rabbit: Your own uncle picks on you?

Misty: What nerve.

??: ??

??: ??

??: ??

Simba: That's some cruel uncle you had, Kevin. I myself had a cruel uncle named Scar. All he did was treat me with disdain when I was a little cub. He was mad at my father because he didn't become king, which my father took the throne before I was born.

Kevin McCallister: Uh-huh, I don't know what his problem is. My Uncle Frank thinks I'm a problem.

Littlefoot: Aww, we wouldn't say that.

Cera: Yeah, who cares?

Ash Ketchum: I'm glad I don't have any siblings. Just my mom and me. I don't know much about my dad.

Kevin McCallister: You know what, Ash? You're really lucky to be the only child in your family. I am so jealous.

Ash Ketchum: Sometimes I wished I had a sibling. Unfortunately, my mother couldn't have any more children after me.

Kevin McCallister: What do you mean?

Ash Ketchum: I found out my mom almost died giving birth when I was born. I heard mom talking to Professor Oak about what happened.

Pikachu: Pika Pika.

Ash Ketchum: Yeah, for me being the only child never stopped me from making several friends. My very first friend is Pikachu. My mom and I don't always agree on anything. She often gets mad at me when I did something wrong.

Kevin McCallister: Same with my mom.

Ash Ketchum: She always reminds me to change my underwear every day...which is really embarrassing for me.

Kevin McCallister: I don't blame you.

Ash Ketchum: Yeah, but I love my mother. She often felt worried about me whenever I get injured and she's also afraid of losing me. Everytime I think of my mom I miss her she also misses me too. The thought of losing her just kills me, especially that time when she was kidnapped by a mysterious Pokémon called Entei.

Kevin McCallister: The other night my mom punished me, and she told me that I should ask Santa for a new family after telling her everyone in my family hates me, who also thinks this mess was my fault. Plus, she didn't want to see me again for the rest of the night.

Nala: (gently) I'm sure your mother never meant what she said.

Brock: Yeah, we often say negative things to each other we don't mean when we're angry or frustrated.

Ash Ketchum: We sometimes forget that we love each other very much. Especially my mom she loves me very much.

Rabbit: Nala, Brock, and Ash are right, Kevin. You shouldn't judge your mother too harshly. She really loves you very much, I am sure.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Holding a grudge against someone is not a good thing.

Simba: Let me tell you something, Kevin. When Nala and I were cubs exploring the elephant graveyard back in Africa, she, Zazu, and I had a run in with those hyenas who tried to eat us then my father saved us. But then he got mad at me because I disobeyed him for coming to the graveyard that I wasn't allowed to go there, because it was surrounded by hyenas. But I did anyway that I tried to prove how brave I am like my father was. Plus, I was unaware that was actually a setup by my cruel Uncle Scar who tried to kill me.

Kevin McCallister: Did your father stay mad at you?

Simba: No, Kevin he didn't. My father was scared of losing me, but he forgave me. But on the other hand, Scar did stay mad at my father and I. Then the next day I sadly lost my father thanks to Scar and the hyenas who set up the wildebeest stampede. Then, Scar blamed me for my father's death and he banished me away from the Pride Lands. I first met Timon and Pumbaa in the desert and both of them taught me Hakuna Matata. When I got older I was still depressed over my father's loss until Nala found me and told me that Scar and the hyenas have been taking over the Pride Lands which destroyed everything. Initially I refused to go back because I thought I was responsible for the stampede. Then thanks to my father's spirit I went back to stand up to Scar and take my place as king. When Scar tried to kill me, he confessed that he was the one who killed my father which made me really mad. I fought against Scar after I ordered him to leave the Pride Lands and never come back. After Scar's death I had taken my father's place as king but then I had a hard time letting everything go after my daughter, Kiara was born.

Kevin McCallister: Your own uncle killed your father? Why, Simba?

Simba: Because he was jealous of my forthcoming position as king.

Brock: I think it's getting late. Shouldn't you be asleep by now? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

Pooh Bear: I'm sleepy.

Piglet: Me too.

Tigger: Me three, let's hit the hay.

Rabbit: Brock's right. That's enough for tonight.

Ash Ketchum: Good night, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: Good night, Ash. Good night, Pooh Bear. I'll see you guys in the morning.

Everyone: Good night, Kevin.

(Kevin looks at a family portrait)

Kevin McCallister: I didn't mean it. If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt again. I promise. Good night. 

(Kevin kisses the portrait and puts it under his pillow. The scene changes to the next morning where Kevin was mouthing the words to "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" while grooming himself again, with the Street Sharks and the Extreme Dinosaurs.)

Kevin McCallister: (mouthing the lyrics) I'm dreaming 

Of a white 

Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where those treetops glisten

And children listen

To hear sleigh bells in the snow

The snow

(Kevin puts on the aftershave and screams in agony... again as we see Buzz's tarantula in the bathroom)

Big Slammu: (sighs) Sounds like he put on the aftershave again.

(The scene then cuts to Kevin and the heroes in a grocery store, buying groceries. Kevin arrives at the counter and meets Kelly the cashier. Kevin reads a magazine as Kelly starts scanning items and Brock becomes infatuated with the pretty cashier)

Kevin McCallister: Are those microwave dinners any good?

Kelly: I don't know.

Kevin McCallister: I'll give them a whirl. 

(Kelly holds up Attack Force action figures) 

Kevin McCallister: For the kids. 

(Kelly scans an orange juice) 

Kevin McCallister: Hold on. I got a coupon for that. (hands Kelly the coupon) It was in the paper this morning.

Kelly: $19.83.

Kevin McCallister: Okay.

Kelly: Are you here all by yourself?

Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm 8 years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.

Kelly: Where's your mom?

Kevin McCallister: My mom's in the car.

Kelly: And where's your father?

Kevin McCallister: He's at work.

Kelly: What about your brothers and your sisters?

Kevin McCallister: I'm an only child.

Kelly: Where do you live?

Kevin McCallister: I can't tell you that.

Kelly: Why not?

Kevin McCallister: 'Cause you're a stranger.

Brock: (lovestruck) You're no stranger to my heart. My name is Brock and while my friend checks out his final purchases while I check out your beautiful smile. I could hand it out all day long.

Rabbit: Misty, do something about this lovesick puppy, will you?

(Misty yanks Brock by the ear, dragging him away)

Misty: It's check-out time for you, Brock. 

(Kelly chuckles softly)

Pooh Bear: Do beg your humble pardon, ma'am.

Ash Ketchum: Sorry about Brock, ma'am.

Kelly: Aww, that's fine.

Ash Ketchum: I think we'd better go now. So, have a Merry Christmas.

Kelly: Thanks. You too, guys. 

(Pooh Bear and his friends leave with Kevin) 

Kelly: (sighs) I didn't know an eight-year-old kid has friends with him.

(We cut to Kevin and the heroes walking home with groceries. The bags rip and everything falls out. We then change to Kevin in basement where he does laundry. The furnace makes noise)  

Furnace: Hello, Kevin! (laughing)

Kevin McCallister: Shut up.

(The furnace turns off. We cut to Harry and Marv's van outside the house)

Harry: I don't get it. I mean, right now it looks like there's nobody home. Last night the place is jumpin'. Somethin' ain't right. Go check it out. 

(Long pause while Harry waits for Marv to check it out)

Marv: Now?

Harry: No, tomorrow, egghead. Now! Go ahead! 

(Marv exits the van) 

Harry: "Now?"

(Marv goes the back of the house while Kevin is washing dishes. He rattles the doorknob and then kicks the door flap and loses his shoe)

Marv: Shoot.

(Marv picks up his shoe from inside the house. Kevin plays "Angels with Filthy Souls")

Johnny (on TV): Get the heck outta here.

Snakes (on TV): All right, Johnny. But what about my money?

(Marv listens closely) 

Johnny (on TV): What money?

Snakes (on TV): Acey said you had some dough for me.

Johnny (on TV): Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

Snakes (on TV): Acey said ten 10%.

Johnny (on TV): Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.

Snakes (on TV): What do you mean?

(Kevin takes a pot from the kitchen and puts it near the door opening)

Johnny (on TV): He's upstairs taking a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey. I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.

(Kevin takes firecrackers and a torch)

Marv: Snakes?

Johnny (on TV): I'm gonna give you to the count of 10... to get your ugly, yellow... no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead.

Snakes (on TV): All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

Johnny (on TV): One, two, 10! 

(Gunshot soundbytes and firecrackers scare Marv as he jumps over the garbage cans, ducks, then frantically runs to the van) 

Johnny (on TV while Kevin mouths the words): Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

(Marv runs to the van and enters)

Harry: What happened?

Marv: I don't know who's in there, but somebody just got blown away!

Harry: Huh?

Marv: Somebody beat us to the job. They're in there! Two of 'em. There was arguing. One of 'em blew the other one away.

Harry: Who?

Marv: I don't know. I thought I recognized one of their voices. And I know I heard that name Snakes before.

Harry: Snakes? Snakes, Snakes. I don't know no Snakes.

Marv: Snakes. Let's get out of here. 

(Harry is about to start the car)

Harry: Hold it, hold it. Let's wait and see who it is. We work this neighborhood too. 

Marv: Yeah.

Harry: Supposin' the cops finger us for a job, and they start asking us questions about a murder in the area. Wouldn't it be nice to have a face to go with their questions?

Marv: That's a good idea.

Harry: Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?

Marv: He sounded like a snake.

== Gus gives Kate a ride home ==
(We cut to Kate at an airport in Scranton)

Scranton Flight Agent: Everything's full.

Kate McCallister: Everything's full?

Scranton Flight Agent: I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.

Kate McCallister: (groans) What about another airline?

Scranton Flight Agent: (clacking keyboard) Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room in the city? Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to Chicago.

Kate McCallister: I can't wait that long.

Scranton Flight Agent: I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can. (signals the next person in line to come to the counter)

Kate McCallister: Go ahead. I'm in your way. I'm sorry. Excuse me, you have places to go, people to see. You got a ticket there. That's good. Excuse me. (to the flight agent) Look. I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to-- Where the heck am I?

Scranton Flight Agent: Scranton.

Kate McCallister: I am trying to get home to my 8-year-old son! And now that I'm this close, you're telling me it's hopeless?

Scranton Flight Agent: I'm sorry.

Kate McCallister: No. No, no, no, no way. This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope!

Scranton Flight Agent: Ma'am, if--

Kate McCallister: And I don't care if I have to get on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.

Scranton Flight Agent: Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do for you today--

Kate McCallister: Do it. Do anything.

Scranton Flight Agent: I can get you a hotel room

(Gus Polinski approaches)

Kate McCallister: What?

Gus Polinski: Excuse me. (to the flight agent) Can you excuse us for a second? (to Kate) Can I see you for a second. Please? (to the flight agent) Excuse us. (to Kate) Come. Couldn't help but hearin' your-- you got a little bit of a dilemma there. We got a crisis ourselves. (chuckles) Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. (shakes hands with her) How are you? Polka king of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? 

(The Kenosha Kickers wave hello) 

Gus Polinski: No? That's okay. I thought you might've recognized-- Anyways, uh, I had a few hits a few years ago. Uh, that's why, you know-- "Polka, Polka, Polka"? (singing) Polka polka polka (stops singing) No? "Twin Legs Polka." "Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka." "Polka Twist."

Kate McCallister: These are songs?

Gus Polinski: Yeah. Yeah. We-- Some fairly big hits for us. You know, in the early '70s, you know? Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.

Kate McCallister: In Chicago?

Gus Polinski: No. Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan. They loved it, you know?

Kate McCallister: I'm sorry. Did you say you could help me?

Gus Polinski: Anyway, I'm rambling on here. Our flight was canceled, so we gotta drive. So, uh, see the guy in the yellow jacket over there by the Budget sign? He's gonna rent us a nice big, uh, van, and we're gonna drive to Milwaukee. Now, I heard you had some problems here, uh, gettin' to Chicago to see your kid or somethin'?

Kate McCallister: Uh, my son. He-- We left and he's there.

Gus Polinski: Aw, geez. If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you. It's on the way to Milwaukee.

Kate McCallister: You'd give me a ride?

Gus Polinski: Sure, we will. Why not, you know? You gotta get home to see your kid.

Kate McCallister: A ride to Chicago?

Gus Polinski: Sure. You know, it's Christmas time.

Kate McCallister: Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Gus Polinski: If you don't mind goin' with polka bums?

Kate McCallister: No, I'd love to.

== The Wet Bandits ==
(The scene changes to outside the McCallister house. Kevin comes out with a ladder and saw while Harry and Marv were asleep in their van. Kevin starts sawing a tree. Harry wakes up)

Harry: Hey, Marv, Marv, Marv.

Marv: What?

Harry: Look at this. 

(Kevin saws off the top part of the tree) 

Harry: I think we're gettin' scammed by a "kindygartener." (chuckles)

(Kevin brings the tree inside as we cut to him putting ornaments on the tree. Harry is spying on him)

Kevin McCallister: (gasps, sees Harry on the ornament) Dad, can you come here and help me? 

(Outside)

Harry: Remember that kid we saw the other day? He lives here.

Marv: Well, if the kid's there, the parents gotta be.

Harry: (shakes his head) He's home alone. 

(They leave by the window as Kevin walks off. Harry and Marv go towards the van)

Marv: You gotta be kiddin'. You wanna come back tonight?

Harry: Uh-huh.

Marv: Even with the kid here?

Harry: Uh-huh.

Marv: I don't think that's a good idea, Harry.

Harry: Hey, look, that house is the only reason we started workin' this block in the first place. Ever since I laid eyes on that house, I wanted it. 

Harry: So, let's take it one step at a time, okay? 

(Kevin and the heroes overhear them as he opens up a window) 

Harry: We'll unload the van. We'll get a bite to eat. We'll come back about 9:00.

Kevin McCallister: 9:00.

Brock: At precisely 2100 hours tonight, the enemies will return to attack our defending base. We need a battle plan to defend.

Harry: This way it's dark then.

Marv: Yeah. Kids are a-scared of the dark.

Harry: You're afraid of the dark too, Marv. You know you are.

Marv: No, I'm not!

Harry: Yes, you are.

Marv: I'm not, not, not.

Harry: You are so. 

(They leave the scene)

Kevin McCallister: Mom, where are you?

(He closes the window as we cut to the Kenosha Kickers' van where they're playing "Deck the Halls")

Gus Polinski: Do you play? 

(Kate shakes her head) 

Gus Polinski: Do you want to try? Go ahead. Try it. Try it. Try it.

Kate McCallister: No.

Gus Polinski: Okay. (continues to play with the Kenosha Kickers)

== Church visit with Old Man Marley ==
(The scene cuts to Kevin and the heroes walking outside and meets an "Elf") 

Kevin McCallister: Excuse me.

"Elf": Yeah?

Kevin McCallister: (looks down) Hey, nice shoes.

"Elf": Oh, thanks.

Kevin McCallister: Is he still here? It's really important that I see him.

"Elf": Well, he's getting in his car. I guess If you hurry, you can catch him.

(Kevin and the heroes run towards Santa's car)

Chris: Darn! How low can you get? Givin' Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve. What's next? Rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?

Kevin McCallister: Santa, hold on! Can I talk to you for a minute?

Chris: Yeah. If you make it quick. Santa's got a little get-together he's late for.

Kevin McCallister: Okay. I know you're not the real Santa Claus.

Chris: What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity. (fixes his beard)

Kevin McCallister: I'm old enough to know how it works.

Chris: All right.

Kevin McCallister: But I also know that you work for him. And I'd like you to give him a message.

Chris: Shoot.

Kevin McCallister: I'm Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Boulevard. Do you need the phone number?

Chris: No, that's all right.

Kevin McCallister: Okay. This is extremely important. Would you please tell him that, instead of presents this year, I just want my family back? No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And, if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

Chris: Okay. I'll see what I can do.

Kevin McCallister: Thanks. (turns around)

Chris: Wait. Hold on a second. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.

Kevin McCallister: That's okay.

Chris: No, no, no. Don't be silly. Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get... somethin'. Here. Hold out your little paw there. (gives Kevin 3 tic-tacs) There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.

Kevin McCallister: I won't. Thanks. 

(Kevin and the heroes leave as Chris starts his car and starts to drive off, but he gets stuck as the engine dies)

Chris: Son of a--

(CUT TO KEVIN WALKING, SEEING A FAMILY GATHERED IN A HOUSE)

(CUT TO KEVIN GOING INTO THE CHURCH, AFTER LISTENING TO A CHOIR SINGING "O HOLY NIGHT"; KEVIN GOES INTO THE CHURCH AND SITS DOWN; KEVIN FINDS OLD MAN MARLEY SITTING IN THE SAME CHURCH; OLD MAN MARLEY COMES CLOSER TO HIM; KEVIN HAS A FRIGHTENED LOOK ON HIS FACE)

Old Man Marley: Merry Christmas.

Kevin McCallister: (confused) Huh?

Pooh Bear: Good evening, Mr. Marley, sir.

Old Man Marley: Good evening. (to Kevin) May I sit down?

Rabbit: It's all right, Kevin. He's harmless.

(Kevin nods and then Old Man Marley sits down next to them)

Old Man Marley: That's my granddaughter up there. The little red-haired girl. She's about your age. Do you know her?

Kevin McCallister: No.

Old Man Marley: You live next to me, don't you? 

Kevin McCallister: (nods) Yeah. 

Old Man Marley: You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay?  

(Kevin nods) 

Old Man Marley: You been a good boy this year?

Kevin McCallister: I think so.

Old Man Marley: You swear to it?

Kevin McCallister: No. 

Old Man Marley: Yeah, I had a feeling. Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself.

Kevin McCallister: It is?

Old Man Marley: I think so. 

Kevin McCallister: Are you feeling bad about yourself?

Old Man Marley: No. 

Kevin McCallister: I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. I really haven't been too good this year. 

Old Man Marley: Yeah. 

Kevin McCallister: I'm kind of upset about it because I really like my family. Even though sometimes I say I don't. Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?

Old Man Marley: I think so. How you feel about your family is a complicated thing.

Kevin McCallister: Especially with an older brother.

Misty: I agree.

Old Man Marley: Deep down you always love 'em, but you can forget that you love 'em. And you can hurt them, and they can hurt you. And that's not just because you're young. You want to know the real reason why I'm here right now?

Kevin McCallister: Sure.

Old Man Marley: I came to hear my granddaughter sing, and I can't come and hear her tonight.

Kevin McCallister: You have plans?

Old Man Marley: No. I'm not welcome.

Kevin McCallister: At church?

Old Man Marley: Oh, you're always welcome at church. I'm not welcome with my son. Years back, before you and your family moved on the block, I had an argument with my son.

Kevin McCallister: How old is he?

Old Man Marley: Oh, he's grown up. We lost our tempers... and I said I didn't care to see him anymore. He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since.

Kevin McCallister: If you miss him, why don't you call him?

Old Man Marley: I'm afraid if I call him, he won't talk to me.

Kevin McCallister: How do you know?

Old Man Marley: I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't.

Kevin McCallister: No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid?

Old Man Marley: You can be a little old for a lot of things. You're never too old to be afraid.

Misty: Exactly. I am afraid of bugs. They're disgusting, creepy, and slimy.

Old Man Marley: I don't blame you, young miss.

Kevin McCallister: That's true. I've always been afraid of our basement. It's dark, there's weird stuff down there, and it smells funny. That sort of thing. It's bothered me for years.

Old Man Marley: Basements are like that.

Kevin McCallister: Then I made myself go down there to do some laundry... and I found out it's not so bad. All this time I've been worrying about it... but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.

Old Man Marley: What's your point?

Kevin McCallister: My point is you should call your son.

Old Man Marley: What if he won't talk to me?

Kevin McCallister: At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it.

Ash Ketchum: Kevin is right. Don't give up until it's over.

Kevin McCallister: And you won't have to be afraid anymore. I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad... especially around the holidays.

Old Man Marley: I don't know.

Kevin McCallister: Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway. I'm sure she misses you... and the presents.

Old Man Marley: I send her a check.

Kevin McCallister: I wish my grandparents sent that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it.

Old Man Marley: Oh, that's nice.

Kevin McCallister: Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that.

Old Man Marley: Oh?

Kevin McCallister: Yeah. I have a friend who got nailed 'cause there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.

Old Man Marley: You'd better run along home where you belong. You think about what I said. All right?

Kevin McCallister: Okay.

Old Man Marley: It was nice talking to you.

Kevin McCallister: Nice talking to you. 

(Old Man Marley and Kevin shake hands. Kevin and the heroes were about to leave until...) 

Kevin McCallister: What about you?

Old Man Marley: Me?

Kevin McCallister: Yeah. You and your son.

Old Man Marley: We'll see what happens. Merry Christmas.

Kevin McCallister: Merry Christmas.

Old Man Marley: (to Misty) Oh, and miss?

Misty: Yes, sir?

Old Man Marley: I didn't mean to make your friend steal that toothbrush. To make up for what I did, I paid for the toothbrush for him and told the officer who chased him.

Misty: Thank you, sir.
 
(KEVIN NOTICES THE TIME AND RUNS HOME)

== Kevin's Battle Plan/Setting up the Traps/The Battle is On ==
(Kevin and the heroes go inside, and Kevin locks the door) 

Kevin McCallister: This is my house. I have to defend it.

Ash Ketchum: Then we will help you protect your house — together!

Pikachu: Pika!!!

Tigger: We're never leaving your side, Kevin.

Rabbit: So be it.

Misty: It's all for one and one for all!

Brock: Mmm-hmm, it's time to execute battle plan! Are you ready? The enemies are due to return to our base at precisely 2100 hours.

Simba: Brock's right, everyone. There's no time to lose.

Kevin McCallister: Thanks guys. You’re the best.

(KEVIN LAYS OUT A BIG "BATTLE PLAN"; KEVIN LAYS OUT LITTLE TOY CARS ON THE FLOOR; KEVIN SPILLS WATER ON THE STAIRS; KEVIN GRABS A SOLDERING IRON OFF THE GRILL AS THE TARANTULA CONTINUES TO CRAWL AROUND; KEVIN HANGS SOLDERING IRON ON THE FRONT DOOR'S KNOB; KEVIN WATERS THE STEPS THAT LEAD TO THE BASEMENT WITH A HOSE; KEVIN PUTS TAR ON THE BASEMENT STEPS; KEVIN ATTACHES A NAIL; KEVIN HAS A ROPE ATTACHED TO HIM AS HE CLIMBS A LADDER TO HIS TREEHOUSE; KEVIN TIES THE ROPE TO THE TREEHOUSE; KEVIN GLUES PLASTIC FOOD WRAP; KEVIN ADJUSTS A TABLE FULL OF PILLOW FEATHERS AND A FAN; KEVIN PLACES CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE WINDOW; KEVIN TAKES 2 PAINT CANS AND LEAVES A BALL OF YARN, AS THE TARANTULA CONTINUES TO CRAWL AROUND; KEVIN TURNS ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS; KEVIN TAKES OUT HIS MACARONI AND CHEESE OUT OF THE MICROWAVE)

(CUT TO HARRY AND MARV DRIVING UP TO THE McCALLISTER HOUSE)

Harry: Okay, we'll check it out first. We can always come back for the truck.

(Harry and Marv get out of the truck)

Marv: How do you wanna go in?

Harry: We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. You never know.

Marv: Yeah. He's a kid. Kids are stupid.

(CUT TO THE McCALLISTER HOUSE; KEVIN BOWS HIS HEAD AS HE PRAYS)

Kevin McCallister: Bless this highly nutritious microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.

Heroes: Amen.

Pikachu: Pika.

(Suddenly, the clock chimes)

Misty: It's 9:00!

Brock: Alright, time to get into battle positions!

(Kevin blows out the candles and gets out a gun and loads it up)

Kevin McCallister: This is it. Don't get scared now.

Ash Ketchum: Let's do it! Cyndaquil, Chikorita, Bulbasaur, Heracross, Squirtle, I choose you!!!

(All of Ash's Pokémon materialize)

Brock: Onix, Geodude, Pineco, Zubat, and Vulpix, battle station!!

Misty: Misty calls...Staryu, Poliwag, Goldeen, and Psyduck!

(Brock and Misty's Pokémon materialize; Kevin stands back, as Marv and Harry walked to the back door. Harry knocks on the door)

Harry: Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you're in there... and that you're all alone.

Marv: Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santy Claus and his elf.

Ash Ketchum: Kevin don't open the door! It's a trick!

Tigger: He's right. Don't do it, Kevin.

Kevin McCallister: I got it.

Harry: We're not gonna hurt you.

Marv: No, no. We got some nice presents for you.

(The BB gun comes out of the door opening)

Harry: Be a good little fella now and open the door.

Brock: On my signal...now!

(Kevin pulls the trigger, and the BB bullet hits right on the money, causing Harry to scream in agony)

Harry: Ow. Shoot! (mumbles)

Marv: What?

Harry: (mumbles)

Marv: What? What?

Harry: (looks at Marv while mumbling)

Marv: What? What happened?

Harry: Get that little-- (mumbles)

(Marv goes to the door and puts his head in the door flap)

Kevin McCallister: Hello.

(Kevin shoots Marv in the forehead. Marv screams in agony)

Ash Ketchum: My turn! Squirtle, Water Gun attack!

(Squirtle blasts a full blast of water right at Marv)

Kevin McCallister: Yes! Yes!

Ash Ketchum: All right! Teamwork!

(Ash and Kevin high-five each other)

Tigger: Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Marv: The little jerk is armed!

Harry: That's it! That's it! I'm goin' around the front! You go down the basement! (gets up) That little--

(Harry goes around the front)

(CUT TO THE DOOR AT THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE, HARRY STEPS ON THE FRONT STEP WITH A CARTOON SLIP SFX, AND CRASHES TO THE GROUND WITH A CARTOON BONK SFX)

(CUT TO THE FRONT; MARV SLIPS ON THE FIRST STEP WITH A CARTOON WHEE SFX)

(CUT TO THE BASEMENT; MARV SLIPS AND FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS WITH A CARTOON FALL SFX, A CARTOON CLANG, A CARTOON DRUM ROLLING SFX, AND A CARTOON LAND SFX)

Marv: Ow! 

(Marv picks himself up using his crowbar to the window; Marv slips again with a cartoon fall SFX and a clang and the crowbar falls on his head with a cartoon clang)

(CUT TO THE FRONT; HARRY GRABS ONTO THE RAILING; HARRY SLIPS AND FALLS BACKWARDS WITH A CARTOON FALL SFX, A CARTOON CLANG SFX, AND A CARTOON BONK SFX AFTER GETTING UP THE STEPS)

(CUT TO THE BASEMENT; MARV TRIES TO UNLOCK THE DOOR WITH HIS CROWBAR; MARV OPENS THE DOOR TO A DARK BASEMENT; MARV SLAMS THE DOOR; MARV FINDS A SWITCH AND PULLS IT WITH A CARTOON FALL SFX, WHICH RELEASES AN IRON AND HITS HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FACE WITH A CARTOON FALL SFX AND A CARTOON CLANG SFX)

(CUT TO THE FRONT)

Harry: All right, that's it, you little-- you little-- Oh, not this time, you little brat. Ah, ha-ha! You little creep, you, where are you?

(Harry puts his hands on a heated doorknob; Harry screams in agony with a Cartoon Fire Alarm and Bell Ringing SFX, falls down and crawls down the stairs and puts his ice in the snow with a Cartoon Sizzling SFX; Harry takes his hand out of the snow)

Kevin McCallister: Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Ash Ketchum: Yes! All right!

(CUT TO THE BASEMENT; MARV TAKES OFF HIS SHOES AND SOCKS, GOING UP THE STAIRS ON WHICH KEVIN PAINTED TAR WITH CARTOON SPLAT SFX; MARV STEPS ON THE NAIL WITH A GUITAR STRING, SCREAMS WITH A BOING SFX, AND FALLS ON THE BASEMENT FLOOR WITH A CARTOON FALL SFX AND A CARTOON CRASH SOUND SFX)

(CUT TO HARRY GOING TO THE BACK DOOR AGAIN)

Harry: I'm gonna to rip his head off! 

(Harry kicks the door opening to make sure the gun isn't there anymore; he spits on his hand and touches it quickly to make sure it isn't hot) 

Harry: You're dead, kid. 

(Harry opens the door, which pulls a string and turns on a blowtorch on the top cupboard with a Flame Thrower SFX, lighting Harry's head is now on fire; Harry screams in agony with a Cartoon Sierra 3 Train Whistle SFX and eventually sticks his head in the snow with a Cartoon Splat SFX and Cartoon Falling SFX)

(CUT TO MARV GRABBING HIS CROWBAR AND HEADING OUT THE BASEMENT DOOR BAREFOOT; MARV SLIPS AND FALLS AS SOON AS HE WALKS OUT WITH A CARTOON CLANG SFX)  

(CUT TO HARRY TOUCHING HIS SIZZLING HEAD; HARRY CHARGES THE DOOR AND BREAKS IT DOWN WITH SEVERAL CRASHING SFX; THE BLOWTORCH FALLS TO THE GROUND WITH THE DOOR SHUTTING WITH A CARTOON WOOD DOOR SHUTTING SFX)

Harry: Where are you, you little creep?

(CUT TO OUTSIDE; MARV IS CRAWLING UP THE STAIRS AND FINDS A WINDOW)

Marv: Harry! I'm comin' in!

(CUT TO INSIDE OF THE HOUSE; HARRY IS TRYING TO FIND KEVIN AND HEARS HIM IN ONE OF THE ROOMS) 

Kevin McCallister: Oh, no, I'm really scared!

Harry: It's too late for you, kid. We're already in the house. We're gonna get you!

Ash Ketchum: Oh, yeah?! Well, I'm not scared of you!

Harry: Don't care, trainer boy!

Kevin McCallister: Okay. Come and get me. (flips a notch of the fan and runs away)

Harry: Why, you-- (walks into a glued plastic wrap) Now you're dead! (walks into a string that turns on the fan that blows feathers into his face)

(CUT TO MARV ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM THE WINDOW; HE STEPS ON HOOD ORNAMENTS; MARV SCREAMS IN AGONY WITH CARTOON POP AND GLASS BREAKING SFX)

Marv: I'm gonna kill that kid and that trainer boy with the freaky yellow pet! 

(Harry is trying to get the feathers off his face as Marv continues to limp through the living room)

Harry: Marv!

Marv: Harry?

Harry: Why the heck did you take your shoes off?

Marv: Why the heck are you dressed like a chicken?

(Harry just stares as Pikachu laughs)

Kevin McCallister: (from upstairs) I'm up here, you morons! Come and get me! 

Harry and Marv: (slip on a bunch of toy cars at the front of the stairs) Whoa!

Kevin McCallister: You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more? 

(Harry steps on Marv as he walks up the stairs. Marv quickly follows him. Kevin throws a paint can that's connected by a string on the railing)

Harry: Heads up!

Marv: Huh? 

(The paint can hits Marv in the face and he falls off the stairs and to the ground. Harry turns to Marv)

Ash Ketchum: Are you ready, Pikachu?

Pikachu: Pika!

Harry: Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you. 

Marv: Harry!

(Harry turns around as a second paint can hits him)

Harry: Ow! (falls on Marv)

Ash Ketchum: Cyndaquil, Flamethrower attack! Bulbasaur, Tackle attack!

Kevin McCallister: Yes!

(Kevin jumps over a piece of rope)

Misty: Staryu, Water Gun attack!

Brock: Geodude, Tackle attack!

Marv: He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

Harry: Aw, shut up, will ya? 

Marv: Oh!

Harry: What is it?

Marv: You're missin' some teeth.

Harry: Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth! I'll kill him! I'll kill him! 

(Harry and Marv get up and go up the stairs) 

Harry: You bomb me with one more can, kid... and I'll snap off your ''cojones'' and boil them in motor oil!

Ash Ketchum: We'll handle those crooks, Kevin. You go and call the police!

Kevin McCallister: You got it, Ash!

(CUT TO BEDROOM; KEVIN DIALS 911)

Operator: 911 emergency.

Kevin McCallister: (deep voice) Help. My house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name's Murphy. (hangs up)

== Final battle ==
(CUT TO THE HALLWAY UPSTAIRS; Simba and Nala roar and slash Marv and Harry)

Ash Ketchum: Pikachu, Thunderbolt attack!!!

(Pikachu shocks Marv and Harry which caused them to scream in pain)

Harry: Watch it. You never know what's up there.

(Kevin goes under the rope)

Harry: There he is!

(Harry flips over the rope while Marv jumps over it. He leaps and grabs the bottom of Kevin's leg)

Marv: Ah! I got ya! I got him, Harry! I got him!

(Kevin spots the tarantula)

Marv: Harry, get up! Give me a hand! 

(Kevin attempts to reach for the tarantula)

Marv: Ow! I got him! Harry, help me! Get up!

(Kevin finally gets the tarantula)

Marv: I got him!

(Kevin places the tarantula on Marv's face and then Marv screams in fear. Marv catches the tarantula off his face and tosses him on Harry's abdominal area)

(CUT TO KEVIN ON THE 3RD FLOOR GRABBING ONTO AN METAL BAR THAT'S HOOKED ONTO A ROPE)

(CUT TO THE SECOND FLOOR, WHERE MARV AND HARRY ARE)

Harry: What are you doing, Marv?

Marv: Harry, don't move.

Harry: Marv?

Marv: Don't... move!

Harry: Marv, what are you doing? 

(Marv raises his crowbar) 

Harry: Marv-- 

(Marv hits Harry in the chest, and misses the tarantula; Harry screams in agony)

Harry: Aah! Jeez! (mumbling)

Marv: Did I get him? 

(The tarantula crawls away) 

Marv: Did I get him? Where is it? (checks his face) Where is it?

Harry: Never mind did you get it! (takes his crowbar and hits him on the side three times) Here! How do you like it? Huh? (throws the crowbar) You jerk! Get that kid before I-- Get the kid! 

(Harry and Marv go upstairs)

(CUT TO KEVIN GLIDING DOWN THE ROPE ALL THE WAY TO THE TREEHOUSE, CRASHING INTO THE BACK WALL WITH CARTOON WOOD CRUNCH BREAKING SFX; MARV AND HARRY ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE NOW)

Harry: Where'd he go?

Marv: Maybe he committed suicide.

Kevin McCallister: Down here, you big morons! Come and get me before I call the police!

Marv: Let's get him!

Harry: Wait. Wait. That's just what he wants us to do-- Us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up. (wraps a white handkerchief around his hand)

Marv: He's gonna call the cops!

Harry: He's not callin' the-- From a tree house? Come on. (comes out of the window)

Marv: Out the window?

Harry: Yeah.

Marv: I'm not goin' out the window.

Harry: Why? Are you scared, Marv? Are you afraid? Come on. Get out here. 

(Marv comes out of the window) 

Harry: Come on. 

Marv: (looks down) Oh. Ohh...

Harry: Come on! 

Marv: Ooh! Oh! Oh!

Harry: Keep goin'. Keep goin'.

Marv: Let's go back, Harry.

Harry: Shut it!

Marv: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Harry: Shut it, Marv!

(Kevin comes back with hedge sheers; he places them on both sides of the rope as if he's going to cut it)

Kevin: Hey, guys, check this out.

Harry: Go back! Go back! Go back.

Marv: Okay.

(They start going back as Kevin cuts the rope)

Harry and Marv: Whoa!

(They swing from the rope and into the brick wall of the McCallister house)

(CUT TO KEVIN CLIMBING DOWN THE LADDER OF THE TREEHOUSE, RUNNING AWAY)

Harry: There he goes! There he is! Get out of the way, you dope!

(Kevin runs for the Murphy house, but he stops while Marv and Harry chase him)

Marv: There he is!

Kevin: Hey, I'm calling the cops.

Harry: Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea. Come on. 

(Harry and Marv take another route)

(CUT TO KEVIN ENTERING THE MURPHY HOUSE; HE ENTERS VIA THE BASEMENT DOOR, KEVIN WALKS THROUGH A FLOODED BASEMENT; KEVIN RUNS UP THE STAIRS AND OPENS THE DOOR; MARV AND HARRY ARE STADNING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM)

Harry: Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time.

Team Rocket: Gotcha!

Ursula: Now you can't get away from us!

Jafar: Seize them!

(Harry snatches Kevin, Marv grabs Pooh Bear and Piglet which caused them to yelp in fright)

Marv: Come here, teddy boy and piggy boy!

(The villains grab the heroes. Pikachu runs away)

Two-Face: You're all gonna pay dearly for giving us the slip!

Harry: Get over here! 

(Marv slams the doors; Marv and Harry hang him by the sweater onto a coat hanger. Pikachu runs to find Old Man Marley for help)

Pikachu: Pika! Pika Pika.

Old Man Marley: Hello, little fella.

Pikachu: Pika Pika, Pikachu!!!

Old Man Marley: What is it? Your friends are in trouble?

Pikachu: Chu! Pikachu!!!

(Pikachu leads Old Man Marley the way)

Pooh Bear: Oh, no. We're trapped.

Piglet: Oh, what should we do, Pooh?

Marv: What are we gonna do to him, Harry?

Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us.

Joker: Is there's something you can do to the little brat and those meddling fools?

Harry: Yeah, Joker, first thing is I'm gonna burn his head with a blowtorch.

Marv: Then we can smash his face with an iron!

Harry: I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can maybe.

Marv: Or shove a nail through his foot!

Harry: First thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna bite off every one of these little fingers one at a time. And as for that little yellow freak, I'll turn that thing into a rug!

Penguin: Excellent.

Maleficent: The meddling fools will be next after the little brat.

Villains: Yeah!

(Fortunately, Old Man Marley comes to Kevin's rescue. The elderly man bashes Marv in the back of the head with his shovel when he laughs. Harry turns around and gets by the senior citizen's weapon of choice)

Pikachu: (angrily) Pika Pika!

(We see sparks flying out of Pikachu's cheeks. He fires his jolt of electricity at the burglars, electrocuting them and making them scream in pain and agony)

Old Man Marley: Come on. Let's get you home.

Ash Ketchum: How'd you know we were here?

Old Man Marley: Your little friend here told me that you were in trouble and led me right to you.

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Pooh Bear: Thank you so much for saving our lives, Mr. Marley sir.

Old Man Marley: My pleasure.

(Old Man Marley carries Kevin back home. A few minutes later, the police arrived led by Officer Jenny along with her Growlithe)

Officer Jenny: Freeze! You men are under arrest!

Kevin McCallister: Wow. This is great.

Brock: (gazing at Officer Jenny lovingly) Yeah...Officer Jenny, she's got my heart under house arrest...

(Officers have Marv and Harry in cuffs as they walk out the front of the house)

'''Officer #1''': Nice move. Always leaving the water running. Now we know each and every house that you've hit.

'''Officer #2''': You know, we've been looking for you guys for a long time.

(Harry looks at Marv, shaking his head)

'''Officer Jenny''': Book them, boys!

'''Marv''': Yeah. Now, remember, we're the "Wet Bandits." Wet Bandits, that's W-E-T...

'''Harry''': Shut up! (kicks Marv) Shut up! (Marv gets in the police car)

'''Officer #1''': Hey, come on. Come on. (Officer attempts to put Harry in the back of police car)

'''Harry''': Hands off the head, pal!

'''Officer Jenny''': You two have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

'''Officer #1''': Come on. (Officer #1 gets Harry in the car; police drive off)

(Kevin, Pooh Bear, and friends wave to Harry and Marv while smirking at them)

(CUT TO KEVIN PUTTING COOKIES AND MILK OUT FOR SANTA; HE PUTS THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON TIDYING UP THE ROOM)

== Kevin's reunion with his mother/Ending ==
(CUT TO THE KENOSHA KICKERS' TRUCK)

'''Kate McCallister''': I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

'''Gus''': No, you're not. You're beating yourself up there. This happens. These things happen, you know. You want to talk about bad parents? Look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year. We hardly see our families. Joe, over there. Gosh, you know...he forgets his kids' names half the time. Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. Eddy... Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.

'''Kate McCallister''': Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home?

'''Gus''': No. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor. All day. You know, we went back at night, when we...came to our senses, there he was. Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks. He came around and started talking again. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.

'''Kate McCallister''': We shouldn't talk about this.

'''Gus''': I was just trying to cheer you up. I'm sorry I did.

(CUT TO THE McCALLISTER HOUSE the very next morning. IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE; KEVIN WAKES UP. Pooh Bear and his friends also wake up.)

'''Pooh Bear''': (yawns) It's Christmas morning.

'''Ash Ketchum''': (groans while stretching) Today's the day, Pikachu.

'''Misty''': Good morning, Togepi. Merry Christmas.

Togepi: (chirps)

'''Pikachu''': Pikachu.

'''Kevin McCallister''': Merry Christmas, Pooh Bear, Merry Christmas, Piglet, Merry Christmas, Tigger, Merry Christmas, Rabbit.

'''Pooh Bear''': Merry Christmas, Kevin.

'''Piglet''': Merry Christmas, Kevin.

'''Tigger''': Merry Christmas, Kevin.

'''Rabbit''': Merry Christmas, son.

'''Kevin McCallister''': Merry Christmas, Ash. Merry Christmas, Pikachu. Merry Christmas, Misty and Togepi. Merry Christmas, Brock. Mom? Mom? Mom? 

(Kevin doesn't find anyone; Kevin looks outside and doesn't find anyone and closes the door; seconds later, the truck pulls up to the McCallister House)

(CUT TO KEVIN IN THE BEDROOM UPSTAIRS; KEVIN LOOKS AT THE FAMILY PORTRAIT; KATE WALKS IN)

Kate McCallister: Kevin? Kevin!

Pooh Bear: Kevin, isn't that your mom?

Kevin McCallister: Yep, wait until you guys meet her.

(Kevin places down the portrait and starts walking downstairs; Kate realizes what Kevin did around the house; Kate finds Kevin; Kevin turns around and sees his mom)

Kate McCallister: Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry. (Kevin smiles and runs to her; Kevin and Kate hug)

(Pooh Bear and his friends look on smiling warmly)

Tigger: (crying) How beautiful.

Piglet: I just love tearful reunions.

Ash Ketchum: (sighs happily) She reminds me of my mom.

Kevin McCallister: Where is everybody else?

Kate McCallister: Oh, baby, they couldn't come. They wanted to so much, but--

[Enter Kevin's immediate family]

Buzz McCallister: I didn't fall asleep in the back of the cab and drool all over you, did I? You do drool, you spit.

Linnie McCallister: You guys, would you shut up?

Peter McCallister: Come on, you guys, it's Christmas. Kevin! Kevin, Kevin, my boy! How are ya? (picks up Kevin) Oh, it's good to see you. 

Linnie McCallister: Hi, Mom.

Peter McCallister: Ah, you're all right. I love you. You okay?

Kevin McCallister: Yeah.

Buzz McCallister: Hey, Kev. It's pretty cool that you didn't burn the place down.

Kevin McCallister: Thanks, Buzz. 

(Buzz and Kevin shake hands)

Kate McCallister: Wait a minute. How did you guys get home?

Peter McCallister: Oh, we took the morning flight. Remember? The one you didn't want to wait for.

Kate McCallister: Oh, no. Oh, thank you.

Peter McCallister: Merry Christmas.

Kate McCallister: Merry Christmas. Someone has to find an open store. We don't even have milk here.

Kevin McCallister: My friends and I went shopping yesterday.

(The family was surprised)

Jeff McCallister: You? Shopping?

Ash Ketchum: Uh-huh.

Jeff McCallister: Hey, wait a minute. Who are you guys, anyway?

Pooh Bear: We're friends of your little brother.

Buzz McCallister: Are you serious?

Pooh Bear: Yes, we are serious, and we've helped Kevin.

Megan McCallister: We never knew you guys kept our brother company.

Misty: Yeah, we never want to leave your brother until you guys get back.

Kevin McCallister: I got some milk, eggs, and fabric softener.

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Kate McCallister: What?

Peter McCallister: No kiddin'. What a funny guy. What else did you do while we were away?

Kevin McCallister: Just hung around. 

(Everyone laughs)

Patrick Star: We also stopped some (gets muffled)

Brock: We also stopped to get burgers after we hung around.

(Megan and Linnie see Pikachu)

Megan McCallister: (to Ash) I like your pet.

Ash Ketchum: Thank you.

Linnie McCallister: He sure is cute. (about to touch Pikachu's cheeks)

Ash Ketchum: (stops Linnie gently) Ah-ah-ah. Please don't touch Pikachu's cheeks.

Linnie McCallister: (confused) Why not?

Ash Ketchum: Because he has 100,000 volts of electricity stored in his cheeks otherwise, you'll get literally shocked.

Linnie McCallister: (understands) Oh, ok.

(Pikachu snuggles up with Linnie)

Kate McCallister: You guys, put your stuff upstairs.

Buzz McCallister: He went shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe, and he's going shopping? 

Megan McCallister: Buzz, forget it.

Buzz McCallister: This is not the Kevin I know.

(Everyone leaves the scene except Kevin as he walks to the window. Peter finds Harry's gold tooth)

Peter McCallister: Honey, what's this?

(CUT TO KEVIN OPENING THE DRAPES TO FIND OLD MAN MARLEY UNITED WITH HIS FAMILY; OLD MAN MARLEY HUGS HIS GRANDDAUGHTER; OLD MAN MARLEY WAVES TO KEVIN; KEVIN WAVES TO OLD MAN MARLEY; OLD MAN MARLEY'S FAMILY WALKS AWAY)

Buzz McCallister: Kevin! What did you do to my room?

Ash and Misty: Uh-oh.

T-Bone: We forgot about Buzz's room!

Tigger: I think we're in big trouble.

(Kevin gasps and runs away from the window as the film ends)
[[Category:Transcripts]]
[[Category:Scenes]]
[[Category:Scripts]]