Tino's Adventures of Alvin and the Chipmunks/Transcript

Opening/"Bad Day"/Meeting Alvin, Simon and Theodore/Nuts!

• Simon and Theodore vocalizing) ♪ Where is the moment we needed the most? ♪ ♪ You kicked up the leaves and the magic is lost ♪ ♪ They tell me your blue skies fade to gray ♪ ♪ They tell me your passion's gone away ♪ ♪ And I don't need no carryin' on ♪ ♪ 'Cause you had a bad day ♪ ♪ You're taking one down ♪ ♪ You sing a sad song just to turn it around ♪ ♪ You say you don't know ♪ ♪ You tell me, "don't lie" ♪ ♪ You work at a smile, and you go for a ride ♪ ♪ You had a bad day ♪ ♪ You see what you like ♪ ♪ And how does it feel one more time? ♪ ♪ You had a bad day ♪ ♪ You had a bad day ♪
• Alvin: It's going, It's going! Woah!
• Simon: And it's gone.
• Alvin: Whatever!
• Theodore: Maybe we should take a break. (one of the nuts hits him on the head) Ouch! Alvin: That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't, I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival! Competing with gophers and earthworms and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts, and I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid tree!
• Simon: Whoa, what's happening?
• Theodore: Guys, I think he made it angry.

Meet Ian Hawke/Demo Disaster

David "Dave" Seville: I'm awake! I'm up. And I'm late! Demo. Dave Seville. Keys. Bag. Pants. I need pants. Pants are essential. Claire!

Claire: Dave.

Dave: Hey. How's it goin'? I haven't seen you since, uh… Well, since you said you never wanted to see me again.

Claire: So I guess it worked. What a fun day that was. Let me guess. You're late for something again. Same old Dave.

Dave: Not following you.

Claire: You know, the guy who's always fooling around who can't handle a serious relationship.

Dave: That was the old Dave. How about we get together, talk about the new Dave?

Claire: I…

Dave: Tomorrow night, my place.

Claire: I…

Dave: Great!

Claire: No.

Dave: You look good, Claire!

Theodore: Where are we?

Alvin: Well, I think they remodeled our forest. I like it. Stylish, yet functional—

Theodore: Uh, but where did the mountains go?

Simon: Give me a break. We're in a building, Theodore.

Ian Hawke: Dave!

Dave: Ian.

Ian: Hey, big guy. Hey, you ever seen the view from the 80th floor?

Dave: No. They never let me past the lobby.

Ian: What? I can't… Hey, back off, man. This is Dave Seville.

Mr. Seville, can I offer you some muffins, scones, pastries?

Dave: No. I'd hate to be a bother.

It's no problem. We have an omelet station.

Dave: Omelet station.

Can I get you some water or a soy latte?

How about a shot of wheatgrass juice?

Dave: Maybe later. Thanks.

Ian: Let's talk about your song Dave.

Dave: Well it was

Ian: Your song sucks, Dave.

Dave: What?

Ian: It's awful, I hate it. Not that good. It needs to be You know, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin, Fergie? Not a chance. I need something new, I need something fresh.

Dave: That is new.

Ian: The next big thing. Dave, we go way back, all right? And we've both come a long way since college. You? Not so much. I wanted to like that song, but you heard it. Not that good. If I wasn't your friend, I'd say: Dave, you go right back out of this office… …and you keep writing music. You'll get there someday. But I am your friend, so I'm going to tell you… …that there is no sense in writing songs… …that no one is ever, ever going to sing.

Dave: Ever?

Muffin Basket

Dave: Excuse me. Can I get some of that water?

Receptionist: We ran out.

Hey!

-Out of the way. -Alvin… -…slow down.

Alvin: Move your butt, Theodore!

Theodore: Ouch! You stepped on my tail!

Alvin: Last one to the door is roadkill!

Simon: I'm in!

Theodore: What are these shiny things?

Simon: Theodore, we're leaving now.

Theodore: Oh.

Alvin: Okay. This wasn't my best idea.

Simon: Look out!

Alvin: Maniac!

Simon: Yikes!

Back to tree! Back to tree!

Simon: Back to the dog! Back to the dog!

Alvin: Basket, 3:00

Theodore: Which way is 3:00? -This way!

Theodore: Guys, wait for me! Wait up! I still have baby fat, you know.

-Jump, Theodore! You've gotta really want it. -I want it! -I want it! -I can't hang like this all day. Will you jump already? Ooh. Muffins.

theodore: Gross, Is this his house?

Simon: No, it’s his garbage can.

So Much Food

This must be where he stores his food for winter. As it came down to one-- Boa has the mouse trapped on a branch with no way out. As the boa moves in for the attack... ...the mouse seems to be facing certain death. The boa's sensitive tongue tastes the victim's presence. The mouse crashes through the foliage. Come on, baby. Come to papa! Hello, gorgeous. We've hit the mother lode. --tropical rainforest where food is bountiful.

Theodore: This is the greatest day of my life!

Alvin: Eureka! I found the cheese balls!

Simon: Alvin, what are you doing? Don't make a mess!

Alvin: Cannonball!

Simon: Quick. Hide! Hurry, you guys!

Dave: Did I put these here? Huh.

[ALVIN SCREAMS]

[DAVE SCREAMING]

Dave: Got...

[ALVIN GRUNTS]

Dave: Ow! Ow!

[ALVIN WHIMPERING]

Dave: Ah!

[ALVIN FARTS]

Dave: Ugh! Ah. There you are. I got you. Oh

Dave Meets the Chipmunks/Get Out

Simon: Hmm. He's been out for quite a while.

Theodore: You guys, he's dead!

Alvin: Don't panic! Wipe everything down. I need three garbage bags, a shovel, some disinfectant some latex gloves and oregano. Go.

Simon: Hang on, Sherlock. He's coming to.

Dave: I must be hearing things. Oh, this is trippy.

Theodore: Sir, are-are you all right?

Dave: [screams] Get back! Squirrels can't talk!

Alvin: Hey! Whoa. Wap-ap-ap-ap-oh. Watch it, genius. We're chipmunks. Chip-munks!

Dave: Chipmunks can't talk either! [turns on lights]

Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.

Dave: This is not happening. [closes his eyes, talking to himself] I am not talking to chipmunks. I am not talking to chipmunks.

Alvin: So how's that working for you, Dave?

Dave: Uh, h-how do you know my name?

Alvin: I'll field that one. We read your mail. By accident.

Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. You ever heard of a credit rating?

Theodore: [turns on the food processor] What's this thing?

Dave: H-hey! Stop do... turn that off!

Simon: [turns off the food processor] Sorry. Uh, [rubs Theodore's head] he fell out of the tree at birth.

Dave: C-can all animals talk?

Simon: Uh, well, fish do have this type of sign language.

Alvin: Hey, Dave. Do all humans have houses that smell like sweat socks? [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser] Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs...

Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Uh, allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello. I'm Simon. The smart one. He's Alvin...

Alvin: The awesomest one.

Theodore: And I'm Theodore.

Tino: Well it’s nice to meet you I’m Tino Tonitini and these are my friends Lor, Tish, and Carver.

Brock: I’m Brock.

Misty: I’m Misty, my specialty’s water pokemon.

Ash Ketchum: I’m Ash and I’m training to be a Pokemon master.

Pikachu: Pika

Ash Ketchum: Oh yeah, and this is pikachu my partner!

You can sing too

Alvin: ♪ Only you... (oh oh oh) ...can make this world seem right. (oh oh oh) Oh, only you... (oh oh oh) ...can make the darkness bright. (oh oh oh) ♪ Oh. Uh, were we disturbing you?

Dave: Wait, you guys can sing too?

Alvin: That's not singing. This is singing.

The Chipmunks: ♪ Wah-ah-ah-ow, ow-ow-ah-ah-ah-ow / Talk about, talk about, talk about movin' ♪

Alvin (Simon & Theodore): ♪ (oh-oh-yeah) Won't you take me to (oh-oh-yeah) Funkytown? (oh-oh-yeah) Won't you take me to (oh-oh-yeah) Funkytown? (oh-oh-yeah) Won't you take me to (oh-oh-yeah) Funkytown? (oh-oh-yeah) Won't you take me to (oh-oh-yeah) Funkytown? ♪

The Chipmunks: ♪ Oh! ♪

Dave: This is amazing. Here, everyone inside.

Simon: Whoa! [giggling]

Dave: There you go.

Simon: Thank you.

Dave: All right, here's the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.

Alvin: No. Wait! Is breakfast included?

Dave: [thinks about it] I can live with that.

Simon: What about TV privileges?

Dave: [thinks about it] Okay, but not after 7.

Theodore: 8.

Dave: Done. Don't tell your animal friends, because I don't wanna come home and find rabbits and skunks on my couch.

Simon: Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.

Theodore: Yeah, you're our only friend.

Dave: No, no, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just start with me being your songwriter.

Alvin: Um, let me ask you. Have you ever written a song before?

Dave: Yup.

Alvin: And... is that your music stuff outside?

Dave: Yup. [thunder rumbles, reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain] Oh, no!

Simon: Hurry back.

Christmastime is Here

Dave: So, fellas, all we gotta do is find the right song, rehearse--ow!

Simon: Hey, Dave.

Dave: Simon!

Simon: Whoopsie! My bad.

Dave: This is my sheet music. [Alvin humming "Aloha Oe"] Alvin!

Alvin: Hey!

Dave: This is not a Hula-Hoop. It's a towel rack.

Alvin: Killjoy.

Dave: Are you guys always like this?

Simon: We're kids, Dave.

Dave: Well, where are your parents?

Simon: When you're a chipmunk, your parents take care of you for a week. Then they take off.

Alvin: Our parents were hippies. They left early to join a commune.

Robert the Robot: I am Robert the Robot.

[A toy robot chases Theodore in a game of cat and mouse]

Theodore: Help! Crazy robot. Help! It's after me! It's after me.

Dave: Hey. Hey. Be careful with that.

[Dave picks up the robot as Theodore apologizes]

Theodore: Sorry.

Dave: It's a collectible. I got it for Christmas last year.

Chipmunks: Christmas!

Alvin: We love Christmas.

Simon: Even though we've never actually celebrated it.

Theodore: But we want to.

Dave: Yeah, you can never go wrong with Christmas.

Theodore: Oh, maybe we can celebrate it with you.

Dave: Yeah, maybe. Look, I've had a long and weird day, so off to bed. Come on. We start work tomorrow. I want you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by 8.

Alvin: My tail isn't bushy till 9.

Dave: Not my problem. Now go to sleep.

Alvin: I hope Christmas comes fast.

Theodore: Me too.

Dave: Duh-dum-duh...dum-duh-duh-duh.... Want a plane that loops the loop? Loop. Hoop. Hula-Hoop.

Captain: [Singing] Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Children: [Singing] SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captain: [Singing] Absorbent and yellow and porus is he!

Children: [Singing] SpongeBob SquarePants!

[Alarm Beeping]

Captain: [Singing] If nautical nonsense be something you wish.

Children: [Singing] SpongeBob Square-

Alvin: Here's trouble. Fire in the hole!

Dave: What are you guys doing?

Alvin: Nothing. What are you doing?

Simon: Stand back, Dave. She's gonna blow! I got it. I got it, guys. Come to papa. Hey! Where did it go?

Dave: Simon, this landed right in front of you. You didn't see it? How many fingers am I holding up?

Simon: Four. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Eight? Counting your thumb? Wait, wait, wait…

Dave: Hang on a second.

Simon: Six. Final answer is six.

[Dave picks up a pair of glasses from a Santa Clase decotation and gives it to Simon.]

Dave: Try these. How's that?

Simon: Wow! Someone trashed your house.

Dave: Well, it was clean when I went to bed last night.

Theodore: Well, we colored for a while, but then we got hungry. Wanna see what we colored?

Dave: Actually, I wanna play you something. I wrote a song for you guys to sing, so let's--

Simon: We've put a few toaster waffles aside for winter.

Alvin: And we're not sharing!

Dave: Guys, we're gonna have food all winter, so if you start storing it… it's gonna get gross and we're gonna have rodent… Bad, you know, non-talking rodents around here. Let's go. Let's get to work. All right, you chipmunks. Ready to sing your song?

Simon: I'll say we are.

Theodore: Yeah! Let's sing it now!

Dave: Ready, Simon?

Simon: Okay.

Dave: Ready, Theodore?

Theodore: Okay.

Dave: Alvin? Alvin?

Alvin: Ooh! This kicks a hamster wheel's butt.

Dave: ALVIN!!!!

Alvin: Okay.

Alvin: Whoa! Okay!

Chipmunks: ♪ Christmas, Christmastime is near. Time for toys and time for cheer. We've been good, but we can't last. Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast. Want a plane that loops the loop. ♪

Alvin: ♪ Me, I want a Hula-Hoop. ♪

Chipmunks: ♪ We can't hardly stand the wait. Please, Christmas, don't be late! ♪

Stage Fright

Ian: What?

Dave Seville's in the lobby. He says he won't leave without seeing you.

Ian: Oh, God. That loser again? Dave!

Dave: Ian.

-Okay.

-I've got something for you. It's your next big thing.

-Dave. Don't say anything. What the...? Dave, don't do this to yourself, man.

-They sing.

-No. They don't.

-They do. Just give me a second. Come on, guys. Want a plane that loops the loop Me, I want a Hula-Hoop

-You know, Dave... ...some people might say it's kind of weird... ...that a grown man would want a Hula-Hoop. And others would say, You know what's weirder than that? A grown man bringing another grown man... ...a big box with a bunch of chipmunks in it... ...who not only speak English but can sing.

-They do sing. We've been practicing all morning.

Ian: Oh, you've been practicing. I never realized. Okay, well. Yeah. Okay, no. Dave, I'm going to pretend that I have a lunch to go to. Oops. I've got a lunch to go to.

Dave: What was that?

Simon: Nothing, nothing. Just a little stage fright. [whimpers]

Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode.

Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave. Why do we have to sing for that guy anyway?

Dave: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money and I hate my job and you're staying at my place so you owe me.

Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.

Dave: Yeah, that helps. [sighs] Never mind. I'm late for work.

Theodore: Ooh-ooh-ooh! Can we go with you?

Dave: What, so that you can mess that up too? Uh-uh. You're going home.

Dave's Really Bad Day

[As The Chipmunks watch and Episode of Spongebob SquarePants on the TV, Dave entered and showed them his vandalized presentations board)

Mr. Krabs: [on TV] SpongeBob, you're 15 minutes late!

SpongeBob SquarePants: [on TV] Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I was out all night looking for Gary. You see, he ran away, and well...

Dave: Uh, guys, what's this about?

Simon: Obviously, Theodore's butt.

Theodore: W-W-We told you we colored.

Dave: On my presentation boards? You got me fired.

Natalie Blackstone: Not only that but what the heck did you guys do in here?!

Theodore: Oh. We didn't know.

[Dave grabs the remote and turns the TV off.]

Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.

Dave: Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic! "Sorry" doesn't get my job back, now, does it, Theodore? Why are my clothes all over the place?

Simon: We used them to mop up the water. Good idea, right?

Dave: Oh, my Gosh, Theodore, did you just-?

Theodore: [nervously] Umm, umm.

Simon: [picks up a small pellet shaped this in front of Theodore] It's a raisin, Dave.

Dave: Prove it.

Simon: [puts it in his mouth] Mmm-mmm.

Dave: Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all you guys. Where's Alvin? [heads off toward the kitchen] Alvin!

Simon: [quickly spits it out and looks sternly at Theodore] You owe me big-time

Misty: Aww!! Look at the big mess you guys made! This is ridiculous, do you ever clean up after yourselves?!

Alvin: (singing) Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?

(Alvin is found taking a shower in the dishwasher, he shrieks as Dave opens the door)

Dave: Get out.

Alvin: I'm waiting for the rinse-cycle.