The Big Barnyard Broadcast/Transcript

Here's the episode 17th from Season 1 from Winnie the Pooh Goes Back at the Barnyard. Here's a Transcript.

The Beginning

(The scene begins with Mrs. Beady watching The Goraldo Factor)

• Goraldo (TV): Tonight on "The Goraldo Factor". Are aliens raiding your refrigerator? The answer may surprise you.
• Mrs. Beady: Oh, Goraldo, I could lose myself in your mustache.

(Suddenly the TV changes to the Tapeworms)

• Mrs. Beady: What in the...?

(Then the TV changes to Wheel of Noodles)

• Mrs. Beady: Why is it doing that, Where is my channel clicker?

(Outside the house, Otis is messing the TV with the remote)

• Otis: (laughs) I love watching TV at Mrs. Beady's house. Oh, hey, hey who's up for "Haywatch"?
• Pip: Not me, me and Scruffy want to watch "The Amazing Rat Race."
• Scruffy: I heard Rizzo the Rat is going up against Jerry this week.
• Pig: Oh, but the "Sweaty Chef" is on.
• Timmy: No way. "Maho Mushi" is on.
• Sunset Shimmer: Forget it. There about to show "Rainbow Rocks".
• Pooh: I want to see the the Bee Movie. It reminds me of honey.
• Lincoln: Sorry Pooh. But it's time for AARGH!
• Lucy: (takes remote) You mean Vampires of Melancholia.
• Lola: You mean Prison Pagents.
• Freddy: What about Goraldo's exciting exposé?
• Luan: You guys can't be "remote"-ly serious. (laughs) But really, I want to watch the Circus channel.
• Otis: Guys, those shows are a festival of stink. You clearly don't have my discerning eye for quality TV, now let me choose.
• Abby: Denied... (steals the remote) Oh-ooh-ooh.
• Wanda: In your face, Otis.
• Otis: Oh, oh, you want to play Keep Away? I'm the kaiser of Keep Away.

(Everyone plays Keep Away)

• Mrs. Beady: What is going on out there. (sees the gang) It's those talking animals and those crazy children, right in my backyard. What do I do?
• Goraldo (TV): Remember, if you have shocking video tape call our shocking video hotline, do it now.
• Otis: Guys, come on, I'm missing "Spiel or No Spiel."
• Pig: Oh, forget it Otis, you'll never get this thing back.
• Otis: Oh, I guess your right, Pig... Oh, look over there, it's a magical unicorn!
• Pig: What, where?
• Otis: (tackles Pig and grabs the remote) Ha, I got it!
• Mrs. Beady: And I've got you..on videotape.
• All: (gasped)
• Mrs. Beady: And when the world sees this tape on the Goraldo Show, everyone will finally know that I'm... not... crazy. [Laughs] I'm not a, you know, nut-roll I'm not a cuckee-cococo-coco. (locks numerous locks on her door)

• Freddy: She's going to expose us on Goraldo.
• Timmy: Not Good!
• Abby: We're doomed.
• Pig: There is no unicorn, is there?
• Rabbit: (moans)

(Back at the Barnyard)

• Bessie: Nice going, dumdumb. 'Cause of you, we're all gonna have to move to the Yukon.
• Freddy: I can't move to the Yukon. I'll be devoured by grizzly bears.
• -I don't the grizzles will eat ferrets like you.
• Pip: Besides, the wolverines will probably get you first.
• Otis: Good point.
• Freddy: Oh, still, I hate moving.
• -Me too.
• Timmy: Plus, if everyone will know that fairies does exist, and I'll lose Cosmo and Wanda forever.
• Cosmo: We're gonna need more diapers. 3,2,1. (checks his) Yep. We need more diapers.
• Otis: Relax, do you seriously think Mrs. Beady's tape is gonna to end up on television?
• Pip: We got a news van.
• -Whose van is it?
• Pip: (sees it's Goraldo's van and gasps) It's Goraldo.
• Piglet: Oh dear.
• Tigger: Uh oh.
• Otis: Oh, milk me.

(At Mrs. Beady's House)

• Goraldo: Nora Beady?
• Mrs. Beady: (Lost by looking at his mustache)
• Goraldo: I came as soon as you called. This could be the greatest story of my career.
• Mrs. Beady: Oh, Goraldo, Your mustache is even more luxuiruis in person.
• Goraldo: I'm fully aware of that. Let's step up, we go live in one hour.

(Back at the Barnyard)

• -What's he's saying?
• Pip: He says they're going live in one hour.
• -You can read lips?
• Pip: Of course, also, I have a hidden microphone in her geranium.
• -Nice work.
• Otis: Well, there's no way were gonna be exposed by some hairy-lipped hack. I swear on all that's rich and creamy, his show will not go on.
• Wanda: And do you have a plan?
• Otis: No, I do not!

(A few seconds later)

• Otis: I've since thought of a plan.
• Pip: We steal the tape back?
• -We start packing?
• Otis: No, better. (pulls out chart) By plugging into Goraldo's news van, we can pirate his signal. He'll think he's on the air ,but he will be wrong.
• -So, if he's not on the air--?
• -What will be on?
• Otis: (pulls the curtain and reveals and TV set) We'll do our own TV show. We'll stop Mrs. Beady and fulfill our dreams of being big time TV producers.
• Tigger: What a fantasical idea!
• Pip: Uh, couldn't we just sneak into her house and steal the tape?
• Otis: See, that's the attitude that's kept you from being a big time TV producer.
• Bessie: May I remind you, that we're supposed to be staying off videotape?
• -How are we gonna pull that off?
• Otis: We'll be in disguise, it can't fail.
• Sunset Shimmer: I guess it can work.
• Pip: Or we could just sneak into her house and steal the tape.
• Otis: I'm much to excited to hear you. Now, let's move people, we got a show to produce.

The Middle

(At Mrs. Beady's house)

• Camera Man: We go live in three minutes.
• Mrs. Beady: Oh Goraldo, I'm so excited, do I look alright?
• Goraldo: Goregous. (whispers) Make-up. (Places clown make-up on her face)

(Outside the house, Pip finished plugging into the van)

• Pip: Mighty Mouse to Papa Cow, we're hooked up and ready to go.
• Otis: Copy that, Mighty Mouse.
• Pip: You know, I'm right next to the house, I could probably steal the tape.
• Otis: Oh, (static) You're breaking up (static), Gotta go. (throws radio) This is it, people, Make me proud.
• -Yes sir.

(Back at Beady's House)

• Goraldo: Tonight on "The Goraldo Factor", do animals walk and talk and kids does the most out-random things? Local Resident Nora Beady says yes. Let's go right to her shocking video.
• Mrs. Beady: With Pleasure, Goraldo.

(Otis shuts off the power to Goraldo news)

• Farmer: Hey, what happened to Goraldo?
• Abby: (voice) "The Goraldo Factor" will not be seen tonight. Instead please join us with "The Slobbering Gourmets" with your host Freddy and Peck.
• Peck: Hey everybody. Summer just around the corner and you know what that means.
• Freddy: Fat tourists crowding our nation's water parks?
• Peck: (laughs) No. Light refreshing summer salads.
• Freddy: Mmmm-mmm. Sounds scrumptious. What do we need Peck?
• Peck: Simply toss in fresh strawberries.
• Freddy: Uh oh. Out of strawberries.
• Peck: No strawberries? No problem. Simply use a common substition. Like raspberries, kiwis..
• Freddy: Or your best friend.
• Peck: Wha-?
• Freddy: Simply take your best friend and simply coat him in a mist of olive oil. Add flour

(Peck sneezes)

• Freddy: And pound him with a mallet until tender. (started whacking Peck)
• -Otis are you sure this is ok to be put on television?
• Otis: Are you kidding? This is great. The cooking will bring the stay-at-home moms and the pounding will attract bullies 6-to 12.
• Freddy: Next toss your friend into the salad bowl. Or if you hate salad, like I do, Just place him into your gullet. (eats Peck) Mmmm. That's good salad.
• Sunset Shimmer: Freddy, spit him out right now!!!
• Freddy: Will be right back after these messages.
• -Come back here!
• Freddy: Get away! My salad! Mine!
• -So what do we do now?
• -Go with our hospital sketch.

(At Mrs.Beady's House, she shows the tape to Goraldo)

• Goraldo: There it is viewers. Barn animals walking upright and talking trash and kids doing outrageous things possible.
• Mrs. Beady: The rooster and the ferret are best friends, Goraldo. The green and pink haired ones are married. The girl cow is kind of fresh if you ask me. And don't get me started on the wise-cracking mouse.
• Goraldo: By my lush and corpulent mustache, this is astounding.
• Cameraman: Uh, guys, it's the network, they say we're not on the air.
• Mrs. Beady and Goraldo: What?

(They checked outside and sees the cord)

• Mrs. Beady: It's those animals and kids, Goraldo. They've been sabotaging this broadcast.

(Back at the Barnyard, the gang finishes up their hospital sketch)

• -All right, now what's the next case
• -He's right here, Dr. ()
• -Of course. What's this ferret here for?
• -A stomach ache, Dr. ()
• -Stomach ache, check. (whacks Freddy) There, now that should ache for some time
• -Uh, he's also here for a sore throat.
• -Easy.
• Freddy: WAIT!!! I got a sore throat. I want it to go away
• -Oh why didn't you say so? Open up your mouth. (looks inside Freddy's mouth) I see the problem immediately
• -What is it, Dr. ()
• -This ferret got a rooster in his throat.
• -Don't you mean, frog in his throat?
• -Not this time. (pulls Peck's head out)
• Peck: What happen?
• Narrator: So Dr. () has found a patient with a case of ingrown rooster. Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr. () say...
• -Ah, let's clean up around here; This operation room is a mess
• Peck: That's nothing. You should see it in here.
• -Abby, starting pulling Peck out of Freddy.
• Otis: (laughs) that is classic.

(Suddenly the TV goes static)

• -Hey what's going on?
• Goraldo: We've had some technical difficulties, but we're back with "The Goraldo Factor."
• Otis: What, what happened, we still haven't done our ice-skating detective sitcom.
• Lola: And I'm been practicing all day.
• Pip: Otis, forget that, they're back on the air. We gotta get over there and get that tape before they play it.
• -What do we do?
• -There's got to be a way.
• Sunset Shimmer: The only way they don't show the video if they have TV repair problems.
• Otis: You just give me a idea. Pip, get me the master of disguise.
• Pip: Not the master of disguise.
• Otis: I said the master of disguise.
• -Who's the master of disguise?

(Back at the Mrs. Beady's)

• Goraldo: Nora, you talking animal tape.
• Mrs. Beady: It's rewound and ready to go, Goraldo. (Suddenly the Doorbell rings) Now what? (answers the door and it was Pig in a repair man costume)

• Pig: Hello, I'm a tv repair pig, uh, man. I came down as soon as I could.
• Mrs. Beady: Wha--I didn't call a TV Reapairman
• Pig: Trust me, I'm a professional.
• Goraldo: Sir, we're in the middle of a live broadcast.
• Pig: Relax, this'll only take a minute. Now let's see what we got here.
• Mrs. Beady: Ugh. Come on.
• Pig: Oh, well, here's your problem.There's a shocking videotape stuck in here. (takes it) I'm gonna have to take this down to the shop and completely erase it. So you have a great day. (suddenly gets shot in with a dart)
• Goraldo: Luckily, a good reporter always carries an emergency supply of tranquilizer darts.
• Pig: (Mumbles) Send you my bill.
• Mrs. Beady: (grabs the tape) Good work, Goraldo. He was in league with them, but the final victory will be ours my handsome, glistening, mustachioed warrior. (lost in his mustache again)

(Back with others)

• Goraldo: Just put the tape in.
• Tigger: He didn't make it!
• Pip: Ok, now we're officially hosed.
• Otis: No, we're not, because Goraldo just made a mistake. He made this personal.
• Sunset Shimmer: Wasn't it already personal?
• Otis: Well, yeah, but now it's slightly more personal.
• Pip: Got you.

The Ending

(Back at Beady's)

• Mrs. Beady: It's in. Hurry, Goraldo, before they try something else.
• Goraldo: And now, the story that'll make me a broadcasting legend.
• Otis: Stop, I'm Gil O'Malley, investigative reporter and you're watching "Hard Time with Gil O'Malley, "
• Goraldo: Not again, O'Malley, this is my story.
• Otis: Your mustache is dumb, (grabs the tape) and this tape is a hoax.I intend to prove it some day, by some means, in front of some people. Uh, good day to you all.
• Goraldo: Come back here, give me that tape.

(Then began fighting over it. When Mrs. Beady caught Goraldo, she is lost in his mustache again, which gave Otis enough time to switch the real tape with another one)

• Mrs. Beady: Stand back, Goraldo. (shocks Otis)
• Otis: This just in, I'm in horrible pain. (faints)
• Grolado: And now, ladies and gentlemen the story that will make me a broadcasting legend. (Plays the tape)
• Mrs. Beady: Hello, I'm Nora Beady. And this is my "Dancing with the Celebrities" audition tape. (started to dance weirdly and everyone is look it and look surprised, when stop dancing when she hurt herself) Ow, Nathan! Get the jaws of life.
• Goraldo: (surprised) There were talking animals on that tape, I swear.
• Mrs. Beady: That's what they do, Goraldo. They spin their little webs and make you look like the crazy one.
• Goraldo: Ladies and gentlemen, you have to believe me.
• Otis: Well, it appears that Goraldo's lack of talent has finally bitten him in the face like a poisonous snake of failure.
• Goraldo: The cow is their leader. There's a wise-cracking mouse. The ferret and the rooster live together.
• Cameraman: (to two hospital men) He's over there.
• Goraldo: (being taken away) I'm not insane. The talking animals are here, they're here.
• Otis: Well, there you have it, folks. A mustache, a dancey-pants lady and a broken dream. This has been "Hard Time with Gil O' whatever I said before." Good night, wishing you hugs and chocolate.

(Back at the Barnyard)

• Otis: Well, guys. We really did it. For one brief, shinning moment, we ran our own awesome TV Station.
• Abby: Next time, let's do a show about an adorable extra-Terrestrial who coaches a little league team.

(Everyone Laugh)

• Timmy Turner: Oh, com'on, Abby. That just crazy.
• Otis: [Laugh] Yeah, he's right Abby. Or is it?

(Then, a commercial plays with Freddy as a extra-terrestrial little league coach)

• Freddy: Shing-Ding-Bloopy.

THE END