Nuthin' Special/Transcript

(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville! A special city on an especially special day... (Thick clouds of smoke rise, accompanied by massive o.c. footsteps.) ..where nothing special is...wha? Not another giant flaming squirrel!

(On the end of this line, pan/turn down quickly to the beast in question stomping around a corner. Its beady red eyes sit above a huge mouth with a chipped front tooth, and it is wreathed in smoke and green flames. It screeches and smashes a building; cut to several screaming, fleeing townspeople. They run to safety just before the squirrel crushes a parked car underfoot.)

(Back to the creature, which lets off a long screech and knocks over two more buildings. Pull back to put it in the distance and the girls in the foreground, their backs to the camera.)

[Possible animation goof: Bubbles' dress appears to match Blossom's, though this might be partially due to the glare of the squirrel's flames.]

Blossom: All right, girls, let's get to work. (The squirrel approaches a rooftop water tower.) He's going for the water tank!

Buttercup: I'm on it! (She zips down.)

(The creature tears the tank from the roof and promptly has it zipped away by Buttercup. This does not sit well with the assailant and leads to a fresh yowl of anger. The tank is set down safely, but upside down, on another rooftop.)

Buttercup: Betcha didn't like that! (She doubles back.)

(The squirrel, meanwhile, pounds another building as more people run in terror.)

Squirrel: Caliente fuego! (Blossom and Bubbles fly up.) Muy caliente fuego!

Blossom: Bubbles, he's speaking Spanish! See if you can translate.

Bubbles: No problema!

(The squirrel has said, "Hot fire! Very hot fire!" Bubbles' words: "No problem!" She zips away and stops behind the squirrel's head. On the next line, it turns to face her.)

Squirrel: FUEGO! CALIENTE! ("Fire! Hot!")

Bubbles: Uh...hable despacio, por favor. ("Speak slowly, please.")

(The only answer she gets is a swipe of the paw, which she ducks.)

Bubbles: I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.

(The monster runs down the street, screaming in pain - it has been trying to get some relief from the fire licking at its body.)

Squirrel: Ay, papi, caliente! (More screaming.) Ardiente caliente fuego! (Bubbles pulls even.)

Bubbles: Slow down, por favor!

(The last line: "Oh, daddy, hot! Burning hot fire!")

(The squirrel continues to run wild; more people scatter before it, and a crying baby wanders into its path. Blossom gasps in shock and charges down, plucking the child away just in time. She carries it to a group of onlookers and deposits it in a woman's arms before taking off again.)

Woman: This isn't my baby! (The squirrel screams again.)

Squirrel: AYUDA!

Bubbles: Wait! I got that one! It means "Help!"

Squirrel: (jumping up and down) SACAME!

Bubbles: "Put me..."

Squirrel: (still jumping) SOY POR EL...

Bubbles: "...out. I'm on..."

Squirrel: (rolling around) ...FUEGO!

Bubbles: "...fire."

Squirrel: (pounding a fist on the ground) Exactamente! ("Exactly!")

Bubbles: "Help. Put me out. I'm on fire."

Squirrel: (wearily) Sí! ("Yes!")

[Error: "Sacame. Soy por el fuego" is a very bad translation from English to Spanish. "Apáguenme. Estoy en llamas." would be the correct Spanish for "Put me out. I'm on fire."]

(The whole thing finally sinks in for Bubbles. She gasps as her sisters land near her.)

Bubbles: Wait! I know what he's saying!

Blossom, Buttercup: What is it?

Bubbles: "Help! Put me out! I'm on fire!"

Squirrel: Sí, sí, sí! ("Yes, yes, yes!")

Blossom, Buttercup: Ohhhh!

Bubbles: What do we do? [Animation goof: Her mouth does not move.]

Blossom: I'll handle this!

(She charges at the squirrel and lets out a lungful of her ice breath, darting around to direct it over all parts of the creature's body. In seconds the entire intersection is hidden by the frosty clouds; when Blossom backs off, they clear away to reveal that the green flames have been extinguished. It takes the squirrel a few moments to realize this, at which point it breaks into a huge smile and laughs exuberantly.)

Squirrel: Gracias, Bubbles, por su fuerza especial de lengua, y Blossom, por su fuerza especial de aliento de hielo. Soy salvado.

Bubbles: He says, "Thank you, Bubbles, for your special power of language, and Blossom, for your special power of ice breath."

[Error: "Soy salvado" is also in poor Spanish. It should be "Estoy salvado."]

(Translation of its last words: "I am saved." Buttercup, floating at a distance behind her sisters, lets her face betray that she feels a bit left out here.)

Squirrel: Y Buttercup. Gracias por...um...estar aquí?

Bubbles: He says, "Thanks, Buttercup, for...uh...being there?"

[Error: "Aquí" means "here," not "there."]

(This wounds her deeply - the power hitter of the team having played no useful role in saving the day - and she hangs her head dejectedly. The squirrel waves goodbye to the townspeople.)

Squirrel: ADIÓS, AMIGOS! ("Goodbye, friends!")

Crowd: (as it departs) HASTA LUEGO! ("So long!")

Blossom: All right, girls! A job well done...no pun intended.

(The crowd breaks into a chant of "Blossom! Bubbles!" that really gets Buttercup fuming. Cut to her sisters; on the next lines, she comes up behind them.)

Bubbles: Hey! Let's go home and make tacos.

(Bad news. This next scene is where we see Buttercup close up, with her front facing the screen. She is extremely frustrated. She then yells at the screen.)

Buttercup: NOOOOO!

Bubbles: But I like tacos.

Buttercup: (very snarky) You guys with your special powers of ice breath and south-of-the-border rodent speech. Well, I want to know what my special power is, and we're not leaving until I find out what it is!

Blossom: But, Buttercup, you do that...thing.

(This comes nowhere close to settling the issue. Buttercup scowls with her arms folded.)

Blossom: Wait...you're right. You don't have a special power, do you?

Buttercup: Well, we're about to find out. Now let me think. Hmm..

(Pan across the crowd, none of whom can curl their tongues, then cut to Buttercup. She is positively ecstatic at this turn of events, and she looks around herself. Close-up of one unsuccessful try after another: an ordinary man. A bearded fellow who licks his mustache. A woman who touches her tongue to her nose. A frog that lashes its tongue out. KISS member Gene Simmons, his tongue extended to full length. An anteater, its long thin tongue snaked out.)

(Buttercup just stands and laughs at the lot of them.)

Blossom: You know what? It's not even a special power.

Buttercup: Yeah, but it's a skill you can't do! (to Bubbles) And you can't do!

(She roars with laughter; cut to an overhead view of the scene and pull back slowly as she jumps around in front of her sisters and takes a bow.)

Narrator: That's it? After all this time, that's her special power? (Dissolve to a longer shot.) That's lame! Anybody can curl their tongue! (sounding as if he is doing it) Look. I'm doing it right now.

(The background for the end shot comes up. He still sounds as if he has curled his tongue.)

Narrator: So once again the day is saved...

(The girls appear: Buttercup front and center, happily showing off her "power," with a resentful Blossom and a crushed Bubbles in the background to the left and right, respectively.)

Narrator: ...thanks to the Buttercup Curl! That's her special power. We've been waiting all this time for that. It's stupid!

[The End]