Editing Littlefoot's Adventures of A Bug's Life/Transcript (section)

==P.T. Flea's Circus/Flaming Death==
(The scene changes where a rhino beetle named Dim is roaring while a black widow spider named Rosie is whipping him.)

Rosie: Get back! Get back! Get back, you horrible beast! I have no fear!

(Rosie whips Dim's foot.)

Dim: (in pain) Ooh!

Rosie: (shocked) Oh, my goodness.

(Dim begins to cry while Rosie comforts him, she was booed and jeered by the flies.)

Rosie: Oh, I'm so sorry, Dim. An owie?

Dim: (crying) Owie! Owie! Owie!

Rosie: Okay, show Rosie the owie. All right, Dim, it's okay.

(The flies fly away in contempt.)

Fly: I have been in the outhouses that didn't stink up that bad.

Fly 2: This is ridiculous. What a disappointment.

P.T Flea: (gasps) No!

Fly: You! Come here! I want my money back!

P.T Flea: Uh, no refunds after the first two minutes.

Roach: Popcorn! Stale popcorn!

P.T Flea: We're losin' the audience! You clowns get out there now!

[A ladybug, Francis, and a large caterpillar, Heimlich, head toward the stage.]

Heimlich: (groan) I hate performing on an empty stomach!

P.T Flea: Do your act, Heimlich. Then you can eat.

Slim: P.T., what's the point?

P.T Flea: Not now, Slim.

Slim: What's the point of going out there? They'll only laugh at me.

P.T. Flea: That's because you're a clown!

Slim: No, it's because I'm a prop! You always cast me as the broom, the pole, the stick! [Slim grabs P.T. Flea] A splinter!

P.T Flea: You're a walking stick. It's funny! Now go!

Slim: You parasite.

Flies: (booing)

Slim: Tra-la-la-la-la. Spring is in the air. And I'm a flower with nothing interesting to say.

Francis: (high-pitched) Ah!

Slim: A bee!

Heimlich: I am a cute little bumblebee!

(Heimlich begins chasing Slim and Francis around the arena.)

Heimlich: Here I come!

Slim & Francis: (dramatically screaming)

Heimlich: (panting) Slow down, you flowers! Oh! Candy corn! (pants) Here. Let me help you to finish it!

(A fly snatches on it, Heimlich squeals)

Male Fly: (to Francis) Hey, cutie! Wanna pollinate with a real bug?

(Both flies laugh out loud as Francis flies up to them.)

Male Fly 2: Oh, here she comes!

Male Fly: Come to Papa, yeah!

Francis: (furiously) So, being a ladybug automatically makes me a girl, is that it, fly boy?! Huh?!

Male Fly 2: Yipe!

Male Fly: She's a guy!

Heimlich: Francis, leave them alone. They're poo-poo heads!

P.T Flea: Not again!

Francis: Judging by your breath, you must have been buzzin' around a dung heap all day!

Slim: Come on, Francis. You're making the maggots cry.

Maggots: (wailing)

[Large wings with eye spots fan out. They belong to a moth, Gypsy, who preens and warms up her voice in a dressing room.]

Gypsy: (operatic vocalizing)

P.T. Flea: All right, we're dying out there. Gypsy, quick, you and Manny...

Gypsy: Shhhh. He's in a trance.

P.T. Flea: Well, get him out of it! You and your husband are up now!

Gypsy: Manny, we're on.

Manny: Oh? Yet again it is up to me to rescue the performance. Gypsy, come.

Gypsy: (humming)

Manny: (crashes, groans)

Gypsy: The stage is the other way, dear.

Manny: Yes, of course.

Francis: Anytime, pal! I'm gonna pick the hairs out of your head one by one!

Male Fly: Take your best shot!

Francis: You name the place!

Male Fly: Oh, yeah?

Francis: Yeah, 'cause when you get there, you are dead!

Slim: Francis, let me handle this. That's no way to speak to a lady.

Francis: I heard that, you twig!

P.T. Flea: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Manto the Magnificent and his lovely assistant, Gypsy! (bangs the gong)

Manny: From the most mysterious regions of uncharted Asia, I give you the Chinese Cabinet of Metamorphosis!

P.T. Flea: Rosie, whole troupe! On stage! Finale! Now!

Rosie: Okay, I just need a little time to--

P.T. Flea: Now!

Rosie: Coming. Coming. Tuck, Roll. Let's get moving, guys. We're up next.

Tuck & Roll: (speaking Hungarian)

Rosie: Don't you understand? We are up!

Tuck & Roll: Up-a! Up-a! (speaking Hungarian)

[Tuck jumps onto Roll's shoulders.]

Tuck & Roll: Hey!

Rosie: Hey! They don't understand me.

Manny: I summon the voice of Confucius...

Male Fly: Get off the stage, you old hack!

Manny: (yelps) I demand to know who said that! (grunts)

[A piece of fruit hits Manny]

Manny: How dare you!

Flies: (booing)

(They then throw more pieces of fruit at him)

Manny: Ingrates!

Gypsy: (muffled) Manny? Manny!

Male Fly: I only got 24 hours to live, and I ain't gonna waste it here! Come on!

(More flies fly away.)

P.T. Flea: (freaks out and grabs a match) I've had just about enough with these losers! (runs back into the ring) Flaming Death! (the flies stop) I hold in my hand...the match! The match that decides whether two bugs live or die this very evening. In a moment, I will light this trail of matches, leading to a sheet of flypaper doused in lighter fluid! (Heimlich and Francis douse the fly paper with lighter fluid) Aimed directly at the flypaper are Tuck and Roll, the pill-bug cannonballs! The cannon will be triggered by Dim, trained to jump at the sound of this bell, (Manny sets the timer at 15 seconds) set to go off in 15 seconds. Our pill bugs' only hope of survival is our mistress of the high wire, Rosie! Secured to a web line of exact length, Rosie will plummet down to these two posts, spinning a web of safety in less than 15 seconds!!! Not good enough, you say? Well, what if they were all (lights the match) BLINDFOLDED!?

(The cast puts on blindfolds. The flies hurry back to their seats.)

P.T. Flea: Ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest that those of you with weak constitutions leave the arena, for this act is so dangerous that if the slightest thing should go wrong...

(Roll tightens Tuck's blindfold too tight, and they both slap each other, launching Tuck into P.T. Flea. He drops the lit match and triggers the line of matches.)

P.T. Flea: No!

Rosie: Go?! Whoa! Okay, through the tunnel...

Gypsy: Woah!

(Tuck bumps into Manny, causing him to trigger the timer.)

Dim: (laughs as he jumps onto the cannon and launch Roll and hit P.T. Flea)

Rosie: Okay, that's done!

P.T. Flea: Whoa! (gets stuck onto the fly paper)

Heimlich: (screams)

Francis: P.T.!

Slim: Oh, no!

Rosie: Oh, dear...

(The flame continues approaching. P.T. Flea attempts to pull himself off.)

P.T. Flea: (panics, grunts)

Francis: Water! We need some water!

Slim: Water, water, water, water!

Flies: (laughing)

P.T. Flea: (panicking while trying to free himself) Help! (grunting) Get me out of here!

(P.T. Flea successfully pulls himself off the flypaper.)

P.T. Flea: (laughs triumphantly)

(As P.T. Flea walks away, the flypaper falls on top of him and is ignited by the flame.)

Fly: Wow!

(The flypaper burns away, leaving behind a charred P.T. Flea standing midstep.)

Rosie: It's the-the web. I'm sorry. It's--

P.T. Flea: You're all fired.

Francis: We got the water!

Heimlich: Here we come, P.T.!

Slim: We'll save you!

(Francis, Slim and Heimlich toss water onto P.T. Flea, who floats within it.)

Fly: (clapping) Whoo! Whoa! Burn him again!