Forced Kin/Transcript

-

Pooh Bear: Girls, are you all right?

Girls: Yep.

Tigger: Say, what happened today, girls?

Blossom: There was this alien who we can't possibly defeat.

Buttercup: Yeah, we were overpowered by it.

Bubbles: It was too powerful.

Blossom: This alien force is the most evil of all the evils we have encountered and if we don't stop it, it will surely destroy us all. And, the only way to stop it is to think it does. Evil, so we must enlist the aid of the most evilest of evil minds!

Ash Ketchum: (shocked) What?! We're gonna get back up from that two-faced traitorous ape?! Blossom, you can't be serious!

-

Ash Ketchum: Pikachu use Thunderbolt!
(Pikachu attempts to shock the robot but it's unharmed by that.)
Misty: Staryu, Poliwhirl, Corsola, Triple Water Gun attack!!!
Brock: Onix, Bind attack!

-

Mojo: I wanted to destroy that ugly and tasteless museum! (looking up) No—not…
(Long shot of the robot, shooting a sparkling beam from its hand.)
Mojo: (from o.c.) …my evil star ray! (Back to him, shaking with anger.) My idea, again!
(The robot again. Now it extends its hands down, and a street shivers and cracks. Mojo cannot believe this either.)
Mojo: My transmogrifying, omnilateral, seismic destructo-tron!
(The robot holds both fists out and blows away the volcano and observatory.)
Mojo: (from o.c.) No! (Back to him, collapsed on the ground.) My laboratory! Home to all my evil plans and devices—destroyed! (The robot stands over the ruins.)
Robot: Earth creatures, the destruction of your dwelling area is now complete. I am now your new leader.
(As it says this, cut to a pan across crowds of stunned onlookers. Mojo is livid.)
Mojo: NOOOOOO!!! That is my line! I’ve always wanted to say that!
Robot: And you will now bow down to me.
(Cut to another pan across the onlookers, who are now prostrate on the ground.)
Robot: (from o.c.) Yes, just like that. (Stop on Mojo and zoom in.)
Mojo: No! No! NOOOO!!!
(As the zoom continues toward his eyes, he cries out in supreme anger and vexation. The eyes suddenly pop and start to glow. Pull back to show that he has taken on the appearance and behavior of a wild monkey. A very large, disheveled, angry wild monkey. His gloves, boots, and braincap are all that remains of his clothing in this shot. The other items restore themselves, and he starts to jump and gibber as if in the jungle. The robot watches it, puzzled, and we see an extreme close-up of Mojo's eyes. They are afire with his all-consuming rage. The robot's decree was the final straw for Mojo, and he's finally snapped and his rage has reached its breaking point.)
Mojo: YOU—HAVE—BROKEN—MY—DREAMS!!!
(Screaming, he leaps straight up at the robot and unleashes a barrage of punches upon it. Despite the size mismatch, his blows have a definite effect. Now he jumps behind the metal leviathan and strikes it between the shoulder blades. Sparks crackle all over its surface, and it starts to lose its balance. Mojo leaps again, both fists extended and a battle cry on his lips. He reaches into his tunic and pulls out a loaf of French bread—it might be the same one he used to beat the clerk at Miguel's Market. He bashes the robot over the head with it, and the bread crumbles in slow motion. The robot's eyes go dim as it tumbles forward to land face first.)
(Mojo moves in and grabs one foot, bending the lower leg back toward the knee. When he has the limb almost bent double, the robot starts to cry out in pain and pound the ground in agony.)
Mojo: Say it! (More crying from the robot.) SAY IT! (Still more crying.) SAY IT!
Robot: YOU ARE THE MOST EVIL! (It collapses again. Mojo lets go.)
Mojo: And don't you forget it!
(He jumps off the robot's back. The ship beams the defeated warrior up and then flies away into space as the crowd cheers. Back to Mojo, who is dusting himself off and has regained his composure. The applause catches him off guard, however.)
Mojo: Huh?
(People are waving and bowing down to him. The girls fly over and hug him. Cut to each speaker in turn unless noted.)
Girls and Heroes: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Blossom: Mojo, you did really good!
Mojo: Good?
Buttercup: You saved us!
Mojo: Saved?! But…but… (Stay on him.)
Bubbles: (from o.c.) Yes, Mojo. (Pull back.) You're our hero!
Mojo: Hero?!
(This last is true, judging from the pro-Mojo flags being waved. He stands amid the cheering crowd, the girls nearby, and looks completely fed up.)
Mojo: No, no, no! I am a villain! Do you hear me?! Villain! I do not save! I do not do good! I am bad! I am evil! I am the most evil!
Ash Ketchum: Ah, pipe down, Mojo. For once, you did a good deed.
Pooh Bear: Yep, You may be a villain most of the time, but we always knew that one day, you would do good.
Tigger: Now, let's go home, girls.
(The girls and our heroes leave as Mojo continues to rant over the crowd for praising him as their "hero.")
(The background for the end shot comes up.)
Narrator: And so once again the day is saved—
(Mojo appears by himself. He still cannot comprehend what has happened.)
Narrator: —thanks to Mojo Jojo!
Mojo: NO!! (He is replaced by “THE END.”)
Narrator: Yep, you're the goodest good guy ever to have done good.
Mojo: (voice over) No!
Narrator: Yep, you’re good.
Mojo: (voice over) No!