Collect Her/Transcript

Narrator: The city of Townsville!
(Turn down to street level and follow a truck labeled “TOYS” as it rolls down the block. Pan quickly to a store with this same name on the corner; the truck backs up, and a crate slides out the rear end of the trailer. Around it, the scene dissolves to the store interior. It floats peacefully down the length of one aisle, the camera following. Cut to an extreme close-up of the front wheel of a motorized scooter tooling along the sidewalk, then to one of a utility knife in the store as its blade is extended. The knife descends; next we see a close-up of a long brown ponytail on the back of a mostly bald head, the scenery scrolling behind it as it waves in the wind.)
(Back to the scooter, which stops in front of the toy store. Inside, the knife cuts into the tape securing the crate; outside, a pair of fat, hairy legs clad in red shorts and striped tube socks steps in front of the door. One sock has slid down around its ankle, and the owner of said footwear bends over to pull it up. Camera turns up slightly to show a green belt buckled at the back encircling his waist, and the elastic band of his underwear. This bears the name “Lenny” in black letters; zoom in on it as he brushes himself down.)
(Inside, the crate is being cut open. The door opens, the bell above it jingling, and a broad shadow advances into the store and falls across the tiles. Turn up from the floor to point straight down the aisle ahead of it, then cut to a side view of Lenny’s legs as he walks along. We now see that the green belt belongs to a fanny pack. Just as he reaches the crate, turn up quickly to the face of the stockboy opening it. He looks up from his work, then backs up with a scared look and a nervous smile as if to say, “Help yourself, just don’t hurt me.”)
(The crate is yanked open, and an item inside is lifted up to Lenny’s nose in a close-up side view. Now we see that he has beady eyes, glasses, and a scraggly beard and mustache. He sniffs the package and holds it over his head in triumph. Close-up of a cash register readout, panning slowly across it as a purchase is rung up, then of the scooter’s wheels as the engine is started up. The craft putters and carries Lenny out of view; camera turns quickly to show it rolling down the street and over the horizon. His ponytail flutters in the wind.)
(Dissolve to shelf upon shelf filled with items of Powerpuff Girls merchandise and rotate slowly to show the entire room. Dolls, lunchboxes, carpeting, lamps, posters, bedspreads, mobiles, bobbing heads—the place almost looks like a warehouse for collectibles based on Townsville’s protective triumvirate. Stop on the face of Lenny—with the aforementioned bald pate, ponytail, glasses, and thin facial hair, in addition to a very bad complexion. He wears a satisfied, buck-toothed smile, and he holds up the item he has just purchased for a closer look. When he speaks, it is with a serious lisp and the gravelly tone of a man close to middle age.)
Lenny: And for today's purchase, the poseable Blossom doll with laser light eyes and realistic hair. (Places the doll on the empty spot on the shelf beside the other two.)
(He reaches into view and sets the package on the shelf; it is a doll in Blossom's image. Cut to an overhead view of him in the center of the room, panning slowly across.)
Narrator: Holy hoarders! This has got to be the most complete collection of Powerpuff paraphernalia on the planet! (Side view of Lenny, cackling.)
Lenny: Powerpuffs to the rescue!
(He makes whooshing noises and runs back and forth as if flying. After a couple of passes, the camera follows him to his computer. He hums—very badly out of tune—and regards it for a moment. Cut to his perspective of the keyboard, with candy wrappers and a soda cup scattered on top of it; he reaches into view and sweeps the clutter aside so he can use it to type in his latest info.)
Lenny: Now to log this in my computer…...
(On the end of this, turn up slightly to show the screen. Bubbles and Buttercup figures stand on top of it. The words “POWERPUFF GIRLS CHECKLIST” are typed up, after which we see a close-up of his hand on the mouse. Back to the screen, panning slowly across the words “CHROMIUM ACTION FIGURES” as the CPU kicks into gear. A red X appears next to this entry. Camera turns around and up from Lenny's gut to his face; he has leaned back in his chair, relaxing, as the machinery continues its work. After several seconds, the computer beeps. He opens his eyes slightly, then all the way in surprise.)
Lenny: Huh?! (His glasses slide down his nose, and he pushes them up and leans toward the screen.) This can't be right. (On the screen, the message...) "Collection complete"?!
(Back to him. He begins typing furiously and looking around the room, trying to see if he overlooked anything that hasn't been logged into his checklist yet.)
Lenny: The hand-carved headboard? (Cut to the headboard of his bed, which features pictures of the girls and the PPG heart logo.) Got it. (Cut back and forth from him to each item he names during the next line.) Egg timer?…Got it…Shoeshine kit?…Got that too… (Cut to a Hickory Farms-style sampler box, then back to the screen, as he continues.) The Powerpuff cheese and sausage selection… (The entry is checked; cut to some tri-colored carpet.) Brightly colored indoor sod… (Three piñatas.) Powerpuff piñatas… (Boxing gloves with Buttercup's face.) The Buttercup Beat-You-Up boxing gloves… (A fountain, with water pouring from Bubbles' mouth.) The Bubbles Spits-a-Lot fountain… (A row of books with Blossom's face on the cover.) …and the Blossom I'm-So-Smart encyclopedia set.
(Extreme close-up of a row of red X's on the screen, scrolling down the list. Now the camera cuts between each item he names and an X on the checklist.)
Lenny: (from o.c., increasingly frantic) Stopwatch…measuring cup…spittoon… (Now the X’s do not appear.) Gravy boat…telephone cozy…golf bag… (Three more X’s flash up. Back to Lenny, zooming in slowly. He looks rather shell-shocked at the final tally of his collection.) This isn't good. (Cut to the screen, which again shows the “COLLECTION COMPLETE” message, then pull back as he turns around in his chair. Zoom in very slowly as he speaks.) (breathing hard, stammering) Now what'll I do?! Collecting Powerpuff stuff is my life. I’ve got every piece of merchandise known to man. My collection…is complete. Oh, it’s just not enough! (Zoom in on his tongue until the screen is filled with red.)
Narrator: (disgusted and annoyed) Sheesh, buddy! Get a life!
(Pull back; now the patch of red is the sun in a drawing of a tree, with a bird nesting in the leaves and a bunny on the ground. Bubbles is hard at work in the girls’ bedroom, her crayons scattered about her on the table.)
Bubbles: I am soooo good! (Head-on view; she keeps drawing. She moves her free hand and knocks a crayon off the table.) Oops. (Camera turns down briefly as she leans over to pick it up, then up again. The tabletop goes out of view during this movement; when it is seen again, the drawing is gone. Bubbles looks around for the culprit.) Hey! Who took my drawing?
(Cut to Buttercup, who is throwing punches at something just out of view. Splats and squishes are heard when her blows land. Bubbles flies up behind her.)
Bubbles: All right, hand it over.
Buttercup: What over?
Bubbles: You know what!
Buttercup: No, I don't.
Bubbles: My drawing! You took my drawing!
Buttercup: Why would I want your crummy drawing?
Bubbles: Because it was the most beautiful drawing in the whole world.
Buttercup: Well, I don't have it. Where was it last?
Bubbles: Duh! It was right here on the table with my crayons! (noticed her crayons are gone and screamed) My crayons! You stole my drawing and my crayons!
Buttercup: I didn't steal your things. Now leave me alone, I'm punching! (noticed that her side of beef is gone) My meat! It's gone! You stole my side of beef!
Bubbles: I did not! I'm a vegetarian! Besides, you took my drawing!
(The heroes come into the girls' room.)
Ash Ketchum: Hey, what's all the fighting about?
Pikachu: Pika?
Rabbit: We're trying to concentrate quietly!
Blossom: Yeah, is that all you two do is blame one another for everything? All right, which one of you took my hair clip?!
(The girls argue each other.)
Heroes: (groans in annoyance)
(While the girls argue, Lenny begins steal more things behind everyone's backs.)
Tigger: (feels Bubbles' Octi toy being pulled away and yelps in surprise)
(Tigger looks around and wanders what it was. Lenny proceeds to steal the picture and then the hotline before making haste and leaving.)
Lenny Baxter: (hangs the picture he stole from the Powerpuff Girls' home and cackles like crazy) But it's still not enough. (sees the girls flying through his binoculars) I need more, I tell you. More! (brief silence as he comes up with a plan to lure the girls and trap them in his collection) Help! Help! Save me!
Blossom: Someone's in trouble!
(The girls fly into Lenny's apartment and are creeped out by his collection.)
Girls: Whoa!
Buttercup: (uncomfortable) Oh, this is seven kinds of creepy....
Blossom: (uncomfortable) Yeah, something tells me this isn't right.
Bubbles: Cool!
Blossom and Buttercup: Bubbles!
Bubbles: Sorry.
Lenny Baxter: (off-screen) Hello, ladies! (reveals himself) Let me be the first to introduce you to my collection… (close-up of him with red, evil eyes) permanently!
(The girls' screams of terror rip through the air. Their screams were so loud that the Professor, Pooh Bear, Ash, and the others can hear them.)
Professor Utonium: The girls!
Ash Ketchum: (grunts as he hears the girls' screams and gasps in horror) Oh, no! The girls! They're in trouble!
Pikachu: Pika!
Misty: We gotta go help them!
Pooh Bear: Yes, we must! But we might need some professional help from someone.
Rabbit: Why, Pooh, that's almost a good idea! We can't find the girls by ourselves. So, in order to do that, we need someone who is professional enough to help track down the suspect and pick up the girls' trail. But who?
Piglet: (gasps) Maybe the mayor of Townsville could lend us a hand.
Brock: Yes, the mayor!
Eeyore: Of course.
Tigger: Then let's go get the mayor! (grabs Rabbit and runs off)
(The Professor and our heroes rush over to the Townsville Hall to seek help from the mayor)
Professor Utonium: Mayor! You've got to help! The girls are missing!
Mayor of Townsville: Missing? Oh, well, they know they can visit me anytime. (sits back)
Ash Ketchum: (groans) No, no, no! Mayor, you don't understand! The girls are in trouble! They're missing! Gone!
Professor Utonium: He's right, Mayor.
Mayor of Townsville: Oh! Oh! (activating intercom) Ms. Bellum! Call the citizens of Townsville to the Townsville Town Square!
Professor Utonium: But don't you guys think this is a bit extreme? I thought we could just call the FBI or something.
Ash Ketchum: Ah, who needs the FBI when you got these? (takes out Poké Ball) Noctowl, I choose you!
(Noctowl materializes)
Ash Ketchum: Noctowl, search the city for the Powerpuff Girls and let us know if you find them.
Brock: Good idea, Ash. Crobat, we need your help!
(Crobat materializes)
Brock: Crobat, go with Noctowl and help it find the Powerpuff girls. Let us know if you see them.
(Crobat understands Brock's command and flies off with Noctowl to look for the girls.)
Mayor of Townsville: Very good idea, boys. (gets a call from Ms. Bellum) What's that, Ms. Bellum? (phone chatters) The whole town is here? Very good. We'll be right over. Well, my friends, this is it. (The heroes follow him to the balcony as he speaks) This is a time of great crisis to the citizens of Townsville. And who better to aid us in our time of need than… (amplified) THE PEOPLE!!
(Pull back to show a cheering crowd below the balcony. Silhouettes of the Mayor, the Professor, our heroes, and Ms. Bellum are seen at the railing. Pan slowly across the scene; a red banner depicting the mayor's face hangs on either side of the trio, one white, the other black. Close-up of him, his voice still amplified.)
Mayor of Townsville: The Powerpuff Girls… (Zoom in on his monocle.) are missing.
(His eye darts back and forth as the crowd expresses its dismay. Cut to the worried townspeople and pan slowly along them as he continues. The Talking Dog and Ms. Keane are among the citizens front and center while Noctowl and Crobat report back to Ash and Brock)
Ash Ketchum: Noctowl, did you find the girls?
Brock: Any sign of the girls, Crobat?
(The Pokémon reply)
Ash Ketchum: Well, where are they?
Mayor of Townsville: (from o.c.) And he who among us, who is not among us, surely is the culprit! (Cut to behind him with a determined crowd in front.) Now who's not here? Uh…uh, Kensy Matthews! Lloyd Hoopley? Fanny Brown? Goofus McGuirk? Genndy McCracken? Chaim…uh…Ishkabibble? (back to him) Marjorie Wilson! Where's Marjorie Wilson? (suddenly angry) I knew it! Only an evil mind such as hers could do such a diabolical thing!
Marjorie Wilson: (from o.c.) I'm right here, Mayor!
Mayor of Townsville: (calming down, looking out o.c.) Oh! Is that you, Marge? (tipping hat) How's every little thing?
(Cut to the Professor, worried; our heroes shrug in confusion about the mayor's plan, but they go along with it anyway.)
Mayor of Townsville: Uh…well…then the only other person it could be is…Lenny Baxter, the Comic Book Geek! GET HIM!!!
Ash Ketchum: Then let's all get Lenny Baxter! Are you all with us, citizens?
Citizens: Yeah!
Citizens and Heroes: Get Lenny! Get Lenny! Get Lenny!
(The heroes joined in chanting as they lead the way.)
Lenny: No, Buttercup, I'm sorry! Please, please don't hurt me! (He is hit in the face.) Oh, Buttercup— (Pan left, putting him o.c.) —your punches hurt so bad. (reveals that Buttercup is a handpuppet and is throwing punches on him) Ah, ooh, ah, eh, uh!
(Above him, is the top shelf. And on that shelf are three Powerpuff Girls figures, with very realistic facial expressions and eye movements, meaning they are the real deals, having been somehow packaged up by Lenny to be kept hostage as part of his Powerpuff collection for life.)
Lenny: (looks up to his captives) Hello, girls. Looks like your power-packed punches can't punch their way out of my power packages! (laughs crazily)
Citizens and Heroes: (from outside) Get Lenny! Get Lenny!
Lenny: What the—?
Citizens and Heroes: (from outside) Get Lenny! Get Lenny! Get Lenny! Get Lenny! Get Lenny!
Lenny: (walks over to the window and sees the angry mob outside his apartment) Well, paint me green and call me Frankenstein. They're on to me!
Eeyore: (sees Lenny out the window) If you don't mind me asking this, but is that him up there?
Mayor: (sees Lenny at the window of his apartment; gasps) That's him, guys! That's the comic geek, Lenny Baxter himself!
Misty: Then what are all we waiting for? Let's get him!
(Crobat and Noctowl both lead the citizens)
Citizens and Heroes: Get Lenny! Get Lenny! Get Lenny! (they all stampede into the apartment)
Lenny: (gasps, shuts the window and closed the binders)
Tigger: (jiggles the doorknob) Open up in there, Lenny! (knocks on the door) Open up we say! Open this door or we're breakin' it down! (brief silence) He ain't budgin'.
Brock: Okay, we're breaking it down. Everyone, on the count of three! One, two, three!!
(Then the citizens broke down the door with a battering ram. The citizens, the heroes and the professor stare at Lenny furiously as Pikachu's cheeks spark up with anger.)
Ash Ketchum: Alright, Lenny, where are the girls?!
Pikachu: Pika!! (sparks electricity)
Ash: You better tell us right now or I'll have my Pikachu zap your behind!
Misty: (notices Bubbles' missing crayons on Lenny's top shelf) Hey, Ash, I hate to interrupt, but aren't those Bubbles' crayons over there?
Tigger: And isn't that Buttercup's side of beef she was punching on earlier today? (touches the side of beef to see if it's still okay) Hmm... (sniffs it) It's still fresh.
Pooh Bear: And is this one of Blossom's hair clips?
Piglet: And Bubbles' Octi doll?
Eeyore: And what about that picture of the girls with the professor up there? What's it doing here?
Rabbit: And this Powerpuff hotline? How did it wind up here?
Brock: And most importantly? (holds up Bubbles' missing drawing) Isn't this Bubbles' missing drawing?
Ash Ketchum: Huh? (looks at all of them and then gives Lenny a suspicious look)
(Ash's friends then give Lenny a suspicious look. Lenny grins nervously and becomes anxious. He now comes to realize that the jig is up.)
Ash Ketchum: Alright, Lenny, explain yourself! How did all of the girls' things ended up in your apartment?
Lenny: Uh, well, I, uh, I...um...
Brock: Answer us!
Misty: Where did you get them?!
Tigger: And how did they end up here?
Rabbit: Just tell us the truth, Lenny!
Ash Ketchum: Tell us the truth right now!
Misty: Don't be selfish!
Pikachu: (angrily) Pika Pika!
Lenny: What are you talking—I'm... (stammers nervously until he gives in upon seeing the suspicious looks on their faces) Oh, alright, fine! I stole them from the girls' room so I could add them to my collection, okay?! Happy now?!
Brock: You what?!? (He recalls Crobat) Stealing is a serious offense!!!

-

Kid: (from o.c.) Cool! (Pan quickly to him; he is holding a box with Blossom's picture.) He's got the limited-edition, trilingual talking Powerpuff dolls! You can't even get these anymore!
(Lenny reaches into view and snatches the box away; pull back to bring him into view.)
Lenny: That's because I bought them all!
Kid: But you didn't even open them yet.
Lenny: Huh, duh! Hello! (knocking on kid's head) Earth to kid! (Close-up of him, panning slowly to the box.) Toys are not for playing with. They are an investment. And opening the container of said item would dramatically decrease its collector's value!
(The Professor reaches into view, yanks the box away and gives it to Misty.)
Misty: Oh, really, Lenny? You mean by opening it, would it go something like (rips the box open) this?!
(The sound echoes in the air as Lenny clasps his hands to his head in agony at the collector's value being lost thanks to Misty's action.)
Lenny: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Misty: (giggles) Hey, that was actually pretty funny. (giggles)
Ash Ketchum: Now, tell us where the girls are, bub!
Lenny: Never!
Brock: Alrighty, you asked for it. Kids, go grab yourselves some toys. We're gonna be playing a little game with Lenny.
Forrest: Awesome!
Max: Alright! This is gonna be fun!
(Brock's younger siblings scatter around the apartment like excited kids on Christmas morning and each snag a package and a box from the shelves)
Roo: (bounces up and down) Oh, boy! Oh, boy! (laughs as he receives a toy from his mother)
Bonnie: Wow! This one is a keeper! (grabs a toy)
(The other kids scatter and seize one package after another from the shelves.)
Professor Utonium: (steps up) It's your move, Lenny. Tell us or else.
Lenny: Or else what?
Professor: Billy?
(One boy tears up the box he holds, and Lenny doubles over as if he has just been hit in the gut. Another package with its collector's value destroyed.)
Rabbit: Had enough, Fatso?
Lenny: You won't get them!
Professor: Susie?
(Now a girl opens her package. Lenny screams as he loses even more money from his prized possessions.)
Tigger: Will you tell us now? (Lenny's eyes.)
Lenny: No! (Cut to another boy.)
Professor: (from o.c.) Jimmy?
(The boy rips open his box; Lenny clutches his stomach again in losing another investment.)
Pooh Bear & Piglet: Well?
Lenny: N-N-No!!
Professor: (from o.c.) Julie?
(She shreds her box, causing a great deal of physical discomfort to the toy collector. He cries out and begins to slump over. The toll is starting to take effect on him big time.)
Lenny: (weakly) I think I'm gonna be sick. (He drops to his knees.)
Ash Ketchum: (tauntingly) Aww, we're sorry. Did that hurt? Well, if you want the pain to stop, then you'd better be a good boy and kindly tell us where the girls are. Right now!
Lenny: (defiantly) N-N-N-Never!
Ash Ketchum: Well, okay then, suit yourself. Kids, do your duty.
(Shadows on the wall show one package after another being torn into confetti, and Lenny does not take it at all well. His reactions are similar to those exhibited by criminals who are being soundly thrashed by the Girls. Lenny screams and gibbers in reaction of the kids opening the packages.)
Misty: Azurill, I've got a present for you. (She takes a package off the shelf and gives it to Azurill who chirps excitedly and opens it like a kid opening up a Christmas present)
Azurill: Azu-Azurill!
Lenny: Why, you little —! Get away from there! That's mine!
Misty: Not anymore! Lenny, you are wrong about toys! They are to be enjoyed, admired and played with by children!
Kanga: (as her son plays with the toys) She's right!
(The kids continue opening the packages, giving Lenny more pain. Screaming and gibbering, he tumbles to the ground in slow motion and presumably falls unconscious upon hitting the carpet. The Professor crosses the room, his head cut off by the top of the screen.)
Professor: Let us tell you something, Lenny. (stopping at Lenny, kneeling over him) You may have all of the toys, all of the merchandise, all of the so-called “collector's value.” But one thing you don't have, Lenny, is true fandom. (Zoom in slowly.) For a true fan wouldn't want to selfishly keep the girls to himself. A true fan would want them to be free.
(He straightens up. The background dissolves to red and white stripes, waving like the American flag, and his figure turns blue.)
Professor: Free to do the things they do best. To do the things we love most about them. (Normal color returns; he bends down again.) Now why don't you be a fan…and tell us where they are?
Ash Ketchum: You'd better tell us, or I'll have my Pikachu zap you to a crisp....
Pikachu: Pikachu! (sparks electricity)
Lenny: (weakly, pointing into air) T…the…t…top shelf.
Ash Ketchum: The top shelf you say? (turns and sees the girls stuffed in packages on the top shelf) Oh! (laughs)
Pooh Bear: So, there they are! (laughs)
(Our heroes laugh with happiness.)
Tigger: (laughs) Hoo-hoo-hoo! (clears throat) Allow me to do the honors! (bounces up, grabs the boxes from the top shelf and hands them to Ash) Here you go, Ash.
Ash Ketchum: Thank you, Tigger. (opens the boxes and frees the girls)
(The crowd and our heroes cheer in victory. Cut to an overhead view of the still-supine Lenny, zooming in slowly. Around him, the door slams shut and the scene dissolves into a jail cell; he is now standing up and gripping the bars. He wears orange coveralls and the same dazed expression. Pull back slowly.)
Narrator: Well, it looks like this criminal has been collected and put into his very own box. A box that won’t be opened for a long, long time.
(The background for the end shot comes up.)
Narrator: And so, for the very first time, the day is saved, (The townspeople and our heroes appear, scrolling across the screen.) thanks to…the citizens of Townsville! Collect them all.
[The End]