Editing Club Otis/Transcript (section)

== The Beginning ==
(The scene begins late at night)

* Otis: The hour has struck, Brother Pip. We must prepare for the solemn gathering
* Pip: The what?
* Otis: It's time to party in our secret clubhouse
* Pip: Oh right.
* Otis: But first, we must don the sacred garments
* Pip: I have no idea what you're--
* Otis: We're gonna put on the ginormous fuzzy club hats.
* Pip: Oh gotcha.

(Otis and Pip don their hats)

* Both: Walla walla walla moo-yah!

(Otis accidently smacks Pip)

* Pip: Ow.

(Both of them tip-toed out of the barn until they are startled by Abby, Bessie, and the girls)

* Abby: Hey there, fellas? Heading off to a secret clubhouse meeting
* Pip: No!
* Otis: (chuckles) Secret. What's a meeting. (stutters) Your words are strange.
* Abby: Oh come on now. I can see you're wearing ginormous fuzzy club hats
* Otis: Oh ho ho, it's cute when you try to notice things. No these are um just normal, hang around the barnyard, not going to a secret club meeting hat.
* Bessie: Don't let'em slow you girl. Everyone knows they have a dumb clubhouse where they hang out with their dumb friends every other dumb night
* Abby: Well, Otis

(Otis and Pip didn't know what to say until)

* Pip: Look, a castle entirely made out of Frogurt!
* Leni: Where?!
* -LENI!!!
* Otis: They bought it.
* Pip: Run away!

(Both of them dashes off)

* Bessie: Do they really think we don't know?
* -Apparently they don't.
* -That would explain the other boys.
* -What do you mean?
* -A couple of days ago, I heard Otis talking to them about an initiation.
* -That would explain the (               )
* -And the (                    )
* And the (                         )
* -And this note I found about a secret boy club meeting. No girls allowed.
* Abby: Hey, girls. Let's follow them and find there secret clubhouse
* Bessie: Yeah, right. I'd rather stay home and check myself for ticks.
* Abby: Even when you might get secret information that you can use to humiliate them at some future date?
* -Well....
* -When you put it that way....
* Bessie: Let's go clubbing!
* Leni: So, is there Frogurt castle or not?
* -(facepalms)
* -Later, Leni; Later.
(Later at the secret clubhouse, Freddy and Peck arrives)

* Pip: Password.
* Freddy: Oh, wait, wait, wait. I remember: Spatula. No, no, no, Swizzlestick
* Peck: Influenza? Lemon zester!
* Freddy: Poop deck!
* Pip: Sorry.
* Freddy: We forgot the password! Our vibrant social life is over. (accidently hits Peck)
* Peck: Ow! Head trauma!
* Pip: That's it. Come on in!
* Freddy: Sweet!
* Otis: Greetings brothers. As Grand Imperial Pooba of the Brotherhood of the Barnyard, I call this meeting to order.
* Members: Walla walla walla moo-yah!
* Otis: First order of business, is to welcome our newest members into our club.
* Pooh: Thanks a lot, Otis.
* -Yeah, this means a lot to us.
* Otis: Of course, our secret clubhouse is your secret clubhouse. We will began with an exchange of secret club handshakes.

(The boys did their secret handshakes until Duke accidently hits Pig)

* Pig: Ow, my eye
* Boys: (gasps)
* -He messed up the handshake!
* Duke: It was a accident. I swear.
* -Sorry Duke. We know you mean well.
* -But, according to our sacred secret club bylaws, any member who mess up the secret handshake, must be....FISHED!!!
* -(gasps)
* -(faints)
* Otis: I'm sorry. But they are right. Fetch the Rubber Mackeral of Discipline
* Pip: Assume the position, sheep dog.
(Outside of the Otis' secret clubhouse)

* Abby: There must be the secret clubhouse. Isn't it cool.
* Bessy: If my cool you mean play dead stupid.
* Abby: Come on. Let's get closer.
* Otis: let the mackerel slapping cease.
* Duke: I don't know what hurts worse, my butt... or the terrible shame. All right, guys, all right, enough discipline.  Let the revelry begin.  [All cheering]  Abby: quit shoving. Bessy: you quit shoving.  Oh, the sacred totem, it lives.  [All scream]  We must offer it a sacrifice before it destroys us all.  [Chanting]: sacrifice, sacrifice.  Whoa-whoa, wait, where do you get a rotisserie spit?  Trust me, otis, it's for the good of the club.  [Chanting]: barbecue... I mean, sacrifice.  Abby: look out.bessy: I am looking out.  Abby: whoa, ohh...  [Crash]  Abby and bessy: whoopsie.  [Gasping]  Uh, sorry.  Uh, we weren't spying on your club.  We were just, uh... Taking a walk.  Yeah, we're very sorry.  Please don't punish us, we were just...  Wait a minute.  Why am I apologizing to you morons?  I'm out of here.  Abby, what are you doing here?  Gosh, I'm sorry, otis.  But I've really always wanted to be in a secret club  Especially one this awesome.  It is pretty awesome, isn't it? Yeah.  I created it, it was totally my idea.  I said, "let's do a club."  Wow, can I join?  My brothers never used to let me join their clubs.  Can I please, please, please,can I join?  Sure, I don't see why not.  Pip: uh, brother otis, can we talk to you for a second?  I'm just kind of celebrating over here with abby about her membership...  May we remind you that the brotherhood of the barnyard  Is a boys only organization?  Not only is abby a girl  She's violated our sacred totem.  And now we'll have to sacrifice peck.  Come on, guys, give her a break.  Besides, I don't know if you remember?  I'm grand imperial pooh-bah?  If I let abby in the club, what are you guys gonna do, quit?  All: yes!  [Sheepishly]: excuse me, I have to do a thing.  Guys, guys, wait.  I got the perfect solution.  We'll let abby join  But we won't let her join, you see what I'm sayin'?  Uh... Not quite. What? I can't say I follow.  Join, but what?  We'll show her such a stupid boring time  She'll quit and never return.  Come on, what do you say, guys, huh?  All: walla, walla, walla, mooyah.  That's the spirit.  Abby, good news... You're in.  No way, whoo-hoo!  I'm in a secret club.  I'm in a secret club [laughs].  I pledge allegiance  To the super, awesome fun which we are gonna have tonight!  Oh, we are gonna have fun tonight, all right.  Why are you winkin' like that?  What are you talkin' about?  You just did it again?  I don't understand what you're saying.  Is that an eye twitch?  I mean if closing your eye rapidly is winking  Then I don't know where you grew up.  Something in your eye?  Not at the moment.  Doing it still.  No, that's... I don't know.  I gotta admit, otis.  This wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  Hold on, I'm about to b*at my high score of ,.  Oh, cud, I lost count.  Oh, well, I'll start again.  That's the beauty of "ball in a cup."  One, two...  [Sighs]: ugh.  [♪...]  [Record scratches]  [Laughing and whooping]  All: yay.  Uh, guys, I think we're playing with too many chairs?  Yeah, if you want people to feel bad.  No, here at club otis, everyone wins.  But we've been at this for three hours.  And we're halfway there [chuckles].  How long can a person tolerate this much intensified fun?  Hey, guys, who wants to go again?  Me...pip: I do, I do.  Ugh.  X-v-f-e-y-t-z.  Pig: them's good eyes.  [All laughing and talking]  Oh, come on, knock it off, it's not a big deal!  Our new club sister is right.  Let's try to control ourselves.  All right, go on, read the next line.  V-r-s-p-i-m.  Duke: unbelievable.  [All amazed]  [Chanting]: abby, abby, whoo-whoo-whoo.  Will you guys cut it out?  [Gasping]  Otis, no offense, but this is boring.  I thought your club would be a lot more fun than this.  Well, I don't know what you mean but fun is subjective  And I don't appreciate your tone.  We are what we are.  Look, I'm sorry, guys.  Guess this club just isn't for me.  Freddy: I guess not.  Pig: well, it's your decision.  Otis: have fun outside the club.  [Whooping and cheering]  Hey, hey, who am i, who am i?  C-q-m-l...  [All laughing]  Sorry, I forgot my barrette.  Yeah, sure, no problem, abby.  Ahh...  Otis?  Were you showing me a lousy time so I'd get bored and leave?  What, I don't, what...  How could you think that?  Wait, I thought were were.  Will you knock it off? What?  Otis, I am so disappointed in you.  Abby, wait, I'm sorry.  I didn't wanna hurt your feelings?  Sorry, o, we know how this must tear you up inside.  So who wants to whack the piñata?  [Excited talking]  Man: one night later...  [Geese honking...]  Walla, walla, walla, mooyah. Walla, walla, walla, mooyah.  Shh... Hi, otis.  [Startled]: whoa... Nothing.  Oh, that's all right, you don't have to hide from me.  See, I don't care about your secret little club meeting.  'Cause I formed a secret club of my own.  Otis: whoa, awesome.  I mean, yeah, that's great, you know if you're into sparkly.  Mooyah, brother otis.  We... Wow.wow.  Peck: check that out.freddy: sparkly.  Duke: it's unprecedented.  Oh, hi guys.  Anyone up for extreme air hockey, cheese pizzas and kung fu movies?  [All talking at once]duke: all of the above.  Peck: everybody was kung fu fighting.  Uh, guys, you are in the brotherhood of the barnyard, remember?  Now please explain to abby, is it?  That nothing can break the sacred bonds that bind us togeth...  [All talking at once]  Peck: we resign.  Fine, abandon me for a girl club.  Pip and I are gonna have fun, that's what we're gonna do.  We're gonna have fun all by ourselves, right?  Hey, pip, wasn't there, there was a pip here.  Sorry, dude, kung fu movies.  Ay, ay, ay, ay.  You can come too, otis, everyone's invited.  Oh, really?  Everyone's invited?  Never!  Too bad, see you later.  Mmm... [Eating noisily]  Pip: so you come here often?  Bessy: don't make me hit you.  Peck: your club is way awesome, abby.  And it's so free of fire hazards.  Well, have fun, boys 'cause the party never stops at Club Abby.  All: whamma, whamma, whamma, wa-hoozie  [expl*si*n]  Abby: [gasps] guys, I think that came from otis's club, come on.  All: ooh...  
* Otis: Welcome to the new and improved Club Otis! Now featuring a simulated mini volcano of my own creation.  Just add volcano mix.  
* Abby: Ok, sure, he may have a volcano, but does he have laser tag? Does he have donkey wrestling?  
* Pig: (wrestling a donkey) Well, that's true.  
* Otis: Ok, so the simulated volcano explosion doesn't impress you, eh? Uh, well, I know what will. (pulls out a barrel of volcano mix) A bigger simulated volcano explosion.
*Abby: Otis, Otis, be careful with that stuff.
*Otis: (pours mixture in) Brother Otis fear not man's puny fire.
*(The volcano starts to spark)  [Fire whooshes] whoopsie.  Arf, arf, arf-arf.  Sacrifice, sacrifice.  Oh, no, that stuff might hit the barn.  I gotta stop it.  I'll help you, otis.  We gotta try to plug it with something.  Ready? Ready.  [Groaning]  Lift with your knees.  [Labored groaning]  Abby: got it, got it, got it...  ...oh.  [Sighs] otis, we did it.  
*Otis: Thanks, Abby.  You know, in return for your help  I'm willing to let you rejoin my awesome club. 
*Abby: Are you crazy?  I'd never rejoin your club.  
*Otis: Ah, except that my club's way better than yours.  
*Abby: No, it ain't. 
*Otis: I think it is.  
*Abby: Ain't not. 
*Otis: You're wearing failure. 
*Abby: Otis, your clubhouse.  
*Otis: My fuzzy hat.  
*Abby: No, don't do it.  It's just a hat.
*Otis: It's fuzzy! I got it.
*Abby: Good idea to merge our two clubs, Otis. This is fun.
*Freddy: Club handshake.
*All: whamma, whamma, whamma, wa-hoozie.
*Otis: (covered in bandages) Please don't do that again.
*-Sorry, Otis.
*-We'll do the handshake when your bones heal.
*Otis: Thank you.
THE END.
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