Editing Ash's Adventures of Hercules/Transcript (section)

== Pain and Panic kidnap Baby Hercules/Adopted by Amphitryon & Alcmene ==
{Mount Olympus, dusk. The night sky is brought over Mount Olympus by the night god, Nyk, driving his goats across the atmosphere. Baby Hercules and Baby Pegasus are sleeping together. The shadows of Pain and Panic crawl over Baby Hercules and grab him. The sounds of glass breaking and Pain and Panic tittering make Zeus and Hera wake up.}

Zeus: Huh?

Hera: What? What is it?

Both: The Baby! [They run to the cradle but find only the Baby Pegasus]

Hera: Hercules! Oh! [she starts sobbing.]

Zeus: (booming mad) '''NOOOOOOO!!!'''

[As he screams, lightning bolts flash and a giant thunderstorm rages over Olympus. Pain and Panic are flying down to Earth, carrying Baby Hercules.]

Panic: Now, we did it! Zeus is gonna use us for target practice!

Pain: Just hang onto the kid, Panic!

[They fall, and Baby Hercules starts crying.]

Panic: Hurry! Let's just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?

Pain: (opening the vial) Here you go, kid. A little Grecian formula.

Panic: Look at that! He's.. changing. [Baby Hercules stops glowing as he drinks the potion]  Can we do it now?

Pain: No, no, no, he has to drink the whole potion! Every last drop.

Amphitryon: (offscreen) Who's there? [Pain and Panic run away, dropping the empty vial.  It breaks and one last drop falls into the ground.] Alcmene, over here.

Alcmene: Oh, you poor thing! Oh, don't cry

Amphitryon: Is anybody there? 

[Pain and Panic look from the bushes.]

Panic: Now?

Pain: Now. [Their shadows are shown as they walk and transform into snakes]

Amphitryon: Oh well, he must have been abandoned.  

Alcmene: Amphitryon For so many years we've prayed to the gods to bless us with a child. [Amphitryon reads Hercules' name from a medallion on his neck.] Perhaps, they've answered our prayers

Amphitryion: Perhaps they have... Hercules?

[Pain and Panic, as snakes, attack, but Baby Hercules catches them, and giggling happily, hits them several times against the ground, ties into a knot and throws far away. Amphitryon and Alcmene stare with they jaws dropped]

Pain and Panic: Help, help, help! [they turn to their normal forms]

Panic: Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened.

Pain: You mean, *if* he finds out!

Panic: Of course he's gonna f-- If.. if is good.

{pan to Mount Olympus in dark clouds and then resolve to the Muses}

Calliope: It was tragic. Zeus led all the gods on a frantic search.

Terpsichore: But by the time they found the baby, it was too late.

Melepomene: Young Herc was mortal now,

But since he did not drink the last drop.

He still retained his godlike strength-

So thank his lucky stars!

But Zeus and Hera wept,

Because their son could never come home.

They'd have to watch their precious baby,

Grow up from afar.

Though Hades' horrid plan,

Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth,

The boy grew stronger ev'ry day,

And that's the gospel truth!