Editing Ash's Adventures of Hercules/Transcript (section)

==Opening/Hercules is born==
{The camera opens in on a museum hallway featuring Greek statues and vases.}

Narrator: Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece, there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes was the mighty Hercules. [A Greek vase is shown with a picture of Hercules fighting a monster. Vase zooms in slowly] But what is the measure of a true hero? Ah, that is what our story is-

Thalia: Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy.

Terpsichore: Lighten up, dude.

Calliope: We'll take it from here, darling.

Narrator: You go, girl.

Calliope: We are the Muses. Goddeses of the arts and proclaimers of the heroes.

Terpsichore: Heroes like Hercules!

Thalia: Honey, you mean "hunk-ules". Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with him...

(Muses start humming)

Calliope: Our story actually begins long before Hercules, many eons ago..

[scene changes colors and the Muses start walking and singing]

(Gospel Truth)

Calliope:

Back when the world was new,

The planet Earth was down on its luck.

And everywhere gigantic brutes,

Called Titans ran amok!

Thalia:

It was a nasty place!

There was a mess wherever you stepped.

Calliope:

Where chaos reigned and earthquakes,

and volcanoes never slept!

Thalia: Whoo! Say it, girlfriend!

Muses:

And then along came Zeus!

Calliope:

He hurled his thunderbolt

Muses:

He zapped!

Calliope:

Locked those suckers in a vault!

Muses:

They're trapped!

And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks.

And that's the gospel truth!

The guy was too type A to just relax.

Terpsichore:

And that's the world's first dish.

Thalia: Yeah baby!

Calliope:

Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.

Muses:

Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble-

That's the gospel truth!

On Mount Olympus life was neat 

and smooth as sweet vermouth.

Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble-

That's the gospel truth!

(Song ends)

(Schematic picture of Olympus zooms in and turns into a real one. While the Muses still repeat their "ah's and yeah's", camera moves up the mountain slope,while it does, the movie title, HERCULES, is shown. Then camera goes inside, passes various chattering gods and finds baby Hercules_

Hera: Hercules! Behave yourself

[Zeus come in to play with the baby, too]

Zeus: Oh, look at this, look how cute he is... [Zeus babbles at baby Hercules and he catches Zeus by index finger and lifts above his cradle] Hah! Oh, he's strong! Like his Dad, hmm?

Hermes: (moving through a crowd of gods) Whoa! Excuse me! Hot stuff coming through! Excuse me one side, Ares. [Hermes hands Hera a bundle of glowing flowers]

Hera: Why, Hermes, they're lovely

Hermes: Yeah, you know, I had Orpheus do the arrangement. Isn't that too nutty? (flying closer to Zeus now) Fabulous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself!

(Narcissus is shown, staring into his mirror and making kissing sounds. Also, Baby Hercules gets one of Zeus' lightnings and plays with it)

Hera: Dear, keep those away from the baby.

Zeus: Oh, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a little fun!

(Baby Hercules tries to eat the lightning, gets zapped, and throws it away in frustration. Three gods jump away from its path, until Athena hits it with her sword so it hits a pillar, which immediately reappears)

Zeus: Oh, on behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts.

Hera: What about our gift, dear?

Zeus: Well, let's see here.. we'll take, hmm, yes, a little cirrus, and, hmm, a touch of nimbostratus, and a dash of cumulus. [Zeus moves his hand with a little pegasus-shaped cloud on it closer to baby Hercules, and the cloud turns out to be a baby Pegasus.] His name is Pegasus, and he's all yours, son.

[Baby Hercules bonks his forehead against Baby Pegasus'. He whinnies and licks Hercules. They hug, letting all the gods sigh.]

Hera: Mind his head.

Zeus: He's so tiny. [Baby Hercules tries to bite the medallion that hangs from his neck and then yawns]  My boy. My little Hercules.