Editing Ash's Adventures of Hercules/Transcript (section)

== Rescuing woman from Nessus/Meet Megara ==
Phil: Well, okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up, kid. We're going to Thebes!

Hercules: Yahoo! [now flying on Pegasus] So, what's in Thebes?

Phil: A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep. [They hear a woman screaming.] Sounds like your basic D.I.D. - Damsel In Distress.

Hercules: Hyah! [They land and see Megara chased by a monster centaur.]

Nessus: Not so fast, sweetheart.

Megara: I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'll—

Nessus: Whoo! I like 'em fiery!

[In the bushes, Hercules gets angry, while Phil instructs.]

Phil: Now remember, kid. First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh? [Hercules already walks to Nessus and Megara anyway.] He's losin' points for this!

Megara: You don't know what you're—

Hercules: Halt!

Nessus: Step aside, two legs.

Hercules: Pardon me, my good, uh, uh..... sir. I'll have to ask you to release that young...

Megara: Keep movin', junior.

Hercules: ...lady. But you-- are-aren't you a damsel in distress?

Megara: I am a damsel, I am in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.

Hercules: Uh-- *ahem* Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize-- [he takes his sword out and Nessus immediately hits him so he flies away]

Phil: Ohhh! What are you doin'? Get your sword!

Hercules: (searching in water) Sword. Right, right.. Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon!

[He picks up a fish and directs it at Nessus. Nessus laugh and Megara looks bored. Nessus then hits Hercules with a fist and Hercules flies away again]

Phil: {groans and tells to Pegassus who rushes to help} Whoa! Hold it! Hold on! He's gotta do it on his own. Come on, kid! Concentrate! Use your head!

Hercules: Oh... [He surges forward and socks Nessus with his head. Nessus flies away]

Phil: All right! Not bad, kid. Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad. [Megara gets up from water and coughs]

Hercules: Oh, gee, Miss, I'm I'm really sorry.

Megara: Oh.

Hercules: That was dumb

Megara: Yeah. [Nessus runs in again]

Hercules: Excuse me. [He attacks Nessus, hits his head several times, and throws him]

Phil: Nice work! Excellente!

Megara: Is wonderboy here for real?

Phil: What are you talking about? Of course he's real... (notices Megara) Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I am real too. [Phil gets on Megara's lap, but she pushes him into water]

Megara: Ugh. [meanwhile, Hercules ride on Nessus]

Hercules: (like a cowboy) Yee-hah! Yahoo! [He finishes Nessus in a spectacular fight] How was that, Phil?

Phil: Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with mistakes like those in the minor decathlons, but this is the big leagues!

Hercules: (sighs) At least I beat him. Didn't I?

Phil: Next time, don't let your guard down because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes! D-oh! It's like I keep tellin' ya. You gotta stay focused, and you-- [Hercules walks up to Megara]

Hercules: Are you, uh, all right, Miss, uh—

Megara: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you a name along with all those rippling pectorials?

Hercules: Uh, I'm, um, uh—

Megara: Are you always that articulate? [she turns to leave]

Hercules: Hercules. my-- *ahem* My name is Hercules.

Megara: Hercules, huh? I think I prefer wonderboy.

Ash: My name is Ash Ketchum and this is my partner Pikachu.

Misty: I'm Misty!

Brock: And I'm Brock!

Hercules: So, uh, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the, uh—

Megara: Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think that "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me, I'm yours". Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to ya later. [Phil growls] Well, thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.

Hercules: Wait! Um.. can we give you a ride? [Pegasus snorts, whinnies, and jumps to a high branch]

Megara: Uh, I don't think your Pinto likes me very much.

Hercules: Pegasus? Oh, no, don't be silly. He'd be more than happy to-- ow! [Pegasus drops an apple on Hercules' head]

Megara: I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything. Bye-bye Wonderboy.

Hercules: Bye... She's something, isn't she, Phil?

Phil: Yeah, oh yeah, she's really something. A real pain in the patella! Earth to Herc! Come in Herc! Come in Herc! We got a job to do, remember? Thebes is still waitin'.

Hercules: Yeah. Yeah. I know.